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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:58 am
Yes, we did and it's not an option for us for various reasons.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:19 am
Are you really sure you must have this location? What would happen if you were ten minutes away? Maybe a little flexibility will but you the house you want.
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:37 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes, we did and it's not an option for us for various reasons.


The reality of Lakewood real estate is that there is no perfect place.

New Lakewood construction: expensive (and in my opinion not the greatest quality), small lots for a lot of $, but homes are well suited for frum families, kids will have neighbors to play with

Old Lakewood construction: more affordable, but not as new and nice. Small lots. Kids will have neighbors to play with. Have you tried raintree area?

Jackson, Toms River smaller-medium houses: less grand, more affordable, hopefully your kids will have neighbors but it may be more spread out etc. More land than Lakewood homes, more individuality of homes.

Jackson, Toms River larger houses: expensive to maintain, but beautiful. Cannot rent basement. Hopefully will have neighbors to play with, may not. Not as suited for frum homes sometimes. (Not so many bedrooms, a lot of wasted space, have to redo kitchen)
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:40 am
So Jackson, Toms River and Raintree are all not options for us. Yes, we would do ten minutes away if can find something decent.
Yes, I know there's no perfect option but shouldn't I be excited about a new home? Shouldn't I love it? Or do I just settle and look away and say this is what's meant for us and that's it? What about inevitable bumps in the road later on? What about things that will come up that we couldn't foresee?
It's such a huge investment and decision and it just doesn't sit with me.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:44 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks, yes 100% I'm aware that will get what's destined for us but we have to also do hishtadlus and if we say no to this we may very well realistically lose it. I also do know somewhat what's going on with the houses situation here and it's painful that most ppl I know are either getting brand new homes or getting older homes for much cheaper. The real estate agent made it sound like they're not getting more for their money when you take all factors into account. I just want a nice new home, I don't want an old 20 year old lived in townhouse that will have to be renovated. Why should I have to settle and then work forever to pay it off???


I know its hard to look around and see what "everyone else" has and want it also. Its hard! But a bit of perspective is needed here! The VAST VAST majority of homeowners in the US do not live in these massive new construction homes. Not by a long shot! Forget huge - the vast majority of homeowners dont live in huge homes at all! And the VAST majority of people in frum communities in the US also do not live in new construction homes either.

And 20 years old is pretty good for a home. Many people live in homes built in the 50s. Where I live, homes are 100 years old!

Why does it have to undergo renovation? Is it really needed or is it to modernize and make cosmetic improvements?

It is 100% ok to buy what you can buy now and later, if later ever comes, buy something different. There is this concept of a starter home. Its honorable to buy what you can buy at this stage of your life. Its the OPPOSITE of honorable to buy these fancy homes just because that's what you see other people doing.

The money is coming from your father - it seems like he is not for this house. What would he rather have you do?
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Sebastian




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:45 am
OP what's your budget? How many brs do you want?

You should be happy about buying a home even if it needs work. If you have a pit in your stomach, I wouldn't go ahead with it.
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:47 am
If you only want Lakewood, you may have to settle for an older townhome. Have you found any options for smaller homes in the James, Central, Hearthstone or other established areas? Sometimes they go for $3-400,000.
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Sebastian




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:50 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
If you only want Lakewood, you may have to settle for an older townhome. Have you found any options for smaller homes in the James, Central, Hearthstone or other established areas? Sometimes they go for $3-400,000.


Yes I would rather get an older home that needs work than an older townhouse. But I'm waiting for OP to respond.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:52 am
Sebastian wrote:
OP what's your budget? How many brs do you want?

You should be happy about buying a home even if it needs work. If you have a pit in your stomach, I wouldn't go ahead with it.


My budget is the most 450k and even that's pushing it. I would like 4-5 bedrooms at least.
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groovy1224




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:52 am
Honestly, I think you need to sort out your feelings in order of relevance to this big decision.

How you feel about the house is obviously important.
How you feel about your father's expectations RE: his money is important.

How you feel about others buying huge nice houses without working as hard as you is obviously a feeling you're entitled to have, but is not relevant to your decision, so put it on the back burner for now.

The way I like to think about these things is to remember that you're not expected to know the future. You are expected to make the best decision you can with the information you have now. It could be things will change in the future, maybe prices will suddenly drop but you don't know that now so you can't factor it in. You just do the research, talk it out, and make the decision that seems best, and the rest is up to G-d.

I wouldn't recommend buying a house you really don't like, but if the pros outweigh the cons (keeping in mind that unless you have an unlimited budget, you will have to compromise on some of your wish list items, it's just the reality of buying a home), if you are getting a good price, and if you can afford it, I would go for it.

Hopefully the house will appreciate and later down the road maybe you will be able to upgrade.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:52 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
If you only want Lakewood, you may have to settle for an older townhome. Have you found any options for smaller homes in the James, Central, Hearthstone or other established areas? Sometimes they go for $3-400,000.


Those areas wouldn't work for us based on a couple of factors so we're limited.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:54 am
watergirl wrote:
I know its hard to look around and see what "everyone else" has and want it also. Its hard! But a bit of perspective is needed here! The VAST VAST majority of homeowners in the US do not live in these massive new construction homes. Not by a long shot! Forget huge - the vast majority of homeowners dont live in huge homes at all! And the VAST majority of people in frum communities in the US also do not live in new construction homes either.

And 20 years old is pretty good for a home. Many people live in homes built in the 50s. Where I live, homes are 100 years old!

Why does it have to undergo renovation? Is it really needed or is it to modernize and make cosmetic improvements?

It is 100% ok to buy what you can buy now and later, if later ever comes, buy something different. There is this concept of a starter home. Its honorable to buy what you can buy at this stage of your life. Its the OPPOSITE of honorable to buy these fancy homes just because that's what you see other people doing.

The money is coming from your father - it seems like he is not for this house. What would he rather have you do?


I would want renovations so that it has a nice new look. Otherwise I'm definitely getting an old lived in townhouse.
The reality in Lakewood is that there are constantly new homes being built everywhere and ppl are buying them and moving in.
My father doesn't have any other realistic plans, he just doesn't see how this is a good idea.
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amother




Orange
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:55 am
It seems that you have a lot of limitations besides budget, which is complicating things.
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amother




Aquamarine
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:55 am
Sebastian wrote:
Yes I would rather get an older home that needs work than an older townhouse. But I'm waiting for OP to respond.


Yup. I live in a 45-year-old Raintree house. It needed a lot of work. Tiny bedrooms, tiny kitchen, no basement. But we love it here, and it's totally worth it! We have a huge fenced-in lot and great neighbors, no-pressure environment, so friendly and quiet. And best of all, it was cheap, so we have money left over to extend it someday (just like many of the neighbors have done and continue to do).

Now many of the Raintree houses for sale have already been owned by frum people, so they may be updated and have nicer, larger kosher kitchens. [I know OP said that Raintree's not an option, but just throwing it out there for anyone else who may be looking.]
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groovy1224




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:56 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I would want renovations so that it has a nice new look. Otherwise I'm definitely getting an old lived in townhouse.
The reality in Lakewood is that there are constantly new homes being built everywhere and ppl are buying them and moving in.
My father doesn't have any other realistic plans, he just doesn't see how this is a good idea.


What are your father's concerns?
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:58 am
It does sound as though you are limited to certain areas, therefore presented with very limited options. Is there any way for you to resolve some complications of raintree, Jackson etc?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:59 am
he says there's no property in the front or back, no resale value, the back deck is old and rotten, it's an old house with repairs needed for a hefty price. he doesn't feel it's worth the price and feel it's painful to spend so much money on such a house even if there's nothing better available. He says you don't spend half a million dollars bec there's nothing else and you don't make such a major decision just bec you want to be close walking distance to certain shuls etc.
he says the owners will get our money and laugh all the way to the bank while they build themselves a brand new mansion.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 12:01 pm
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
It does sound as though you are limited to certain areas, therefore presented with very limited options. Is there any way for you to resolve some complications of raintree, Jackson etc?


Not really. I don't drive (and that's not changing), we're chassidish and dh davens in certain shul in the area. We're also not the fancy type, we're torah'dik, hardworking and simple and want to live with like minded ppl.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 12:01 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I would want renovations so that it has a nice new look. Otherwise I'm definitely getting an old lived in townhouse.
The reality in Lakewood is that there are constantly new homes being built everywhere and ppl are buying them and moving in.
My father doesn't have any other realistic plans, he just doesn't see how this is a good idea.


So there is nothing wrong with this house. You WANT to make it look "nice and new". I'm sorry, this is immature. There is nothing in the world wrong with a house that someone else has lived in. A coat of paint and new carpet will change the look of the house and make it look new enough. There is no reason you need to spend the 30k you mentioned earlier to make a house nice and new.

I'm sorry - SO WHAT if other people are buying new? What do those people have to do with you? We dont make life decisions based on what other people are doing! Thats foolish to the max.

You can only do what you have the money to do. You have limitations that you have not specified in this thread so you are stuck to this one area. So this may be your best house for this stage of your life. There is no shame in that!

ETA, I just saw you posted this while I was writing my post:
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Not really. I don't drive (and that's not changing), we're chassidish and dh davens in certain shul in the area. We're also not the fancy type, we're torah'dik, hardworking and simple and want to live with like minded ppl.

A townhouse is perfectly wonderful. ESPECIALLY if your family is how you are describing. Perspective!


Last edited by watergirl on Tue, Sep 24 2019, 12:03 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Sebastian




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 12:01 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My budget is the most 450k and even that's pushing it. I would like 4-5 bedrooms at least.


Can you do the Williams area or it's too far? There's one for sale for 369k and they'll probably take less. At least you'll have a nice yard.

this is a better price for the same idea: https://www.zillow.com/homedet.....pid/?
I don't know if it's too far for you.
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