Just promise me it'll get better UPDATE

FranticFrummie

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 5:39 am

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

If I call my rabbi and cry my heart out my dh will magically earn more money? Which normal man chooses to go to work and NOT earn enough to make life easier for his family?

I apologize for hitting a nerve and not coming across as compassionately as I could have. When you wrote this:

Quote:

I can't do this anymore and I have no one to cry to. My husband doesn't get it,

It seemed to me like you were frustrated that he wasn't understanding that you need more help.

B'H your husband is doing the best he can. There actually ARE husbands who are underemployed, because they like the laid back hours, the guys they work with, or the fact that the work is easy. They are not ambitious, and are happy to make a lower wage - all while expecting the wife to do everything. I am relieved to hear that this is not the case with you. My apologies to your DH, as well, for assuming bad things about him.

My DD had extreme colic for the first 4 months of her life, hated baby wearing, and basically screamed non stop from 5pm to 4am, like clockwork. I was a ZOMBIE!

It wasn't until we figured out that she was lactose intolerant, that things got better. Very expensive prescription formula, mixed with a tiny bit of rice cereal, was the only way she would sleep through the night. Even now, 16 years later, when I hear a baby scream (not normal crying, but screaming) I have flashbacks and tense up. I can't stand the sound, it makes me want to snap.

Anyway, this is my long winded way of wishing you all the best, Mazel Tov on your new baby, and I hope that things settle down soon.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 1:03 pm

Hugs op! I'm dealing with a 3yo and a 3 week old. It's really hard. Just take it one day at a time. Dont think about "omg how is everything gonna eventually settle". Focus on today.
Maybe go to the park with a friend and appoint her (and/or her kid) to chase your older baby?
Also maybe hire someone for an hour to watch the baby while you put 18 month old to sleep, so he gets his mommy alone.
I'm going to assume you live in israel. Find a seminary girl! They love playing with babies and cooking.

amother

Thu, Feb 27 2020, 5:59 pm

I added it to the op but will copy here

As part of the updating old threads challenge, here's an update Smile it's better, much much better. Not perfect but better. The kids are best of friends and though the house is pretty flying, it's much easier to handle. Thank you to all those who gave me strength and advice. Imamother is wonderful support