3 year old sleep habits

amother

Mon, Sep 23 2019, 7:49 pm

Befire the bashing begins, please try to understand where I'm coming from!
I am genuinely asking for honest opinions, so please take a minute to think about my question.
I am nearly 3 weeks postpartum, and I have a 3 year old. My 3 year old can lay in bed for hours before falling asleep, and he needs me to lay with him until then. Usually it takes 30-40 min, but it has taken 2 hours. I dont have that time especially when my starving newborn is shrieking downstairs.
Once he fiiinnnaaallly falls asleep, he doesnt stay sleeping. He'll wake up a few hours later and come into our room, where he'll fall back asleep some time later, and keep waking.
I.
AM.
EXHAUSTED.
And so is he!

My question is- do I resort to melatonin? I feel like I've tried everything with him and cant think of what else to do!

amother

Mon, Sep 23 2019, 9:55 pm

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

Does he still nap? Also it sounds like he needs more physical activity and mental stimulation to tire him out. Is he in school?

When he naps, he doesnt fall asleep until 10:30pm! So no to the nap.
He's in school. He plays outside every day. He "reads" books.
Any ideas for more physical activity and mental stimulation? He's pretty active and very smart. But also I did just give birth, so I can't be taking him on some major escapade.

amother

Natural

Mon, Sep 23 2019, 10:11 pm

I have similar situation with my 2.5 yr old. No newborn. No nap. (OMG if she happens to nap she will not fall asleep til midnight. ) Goes to school, I or someone else else takes her to the park everyday after school. She runs around our house and yard. Still has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. I just started using melatonin occasionally and it's helping a lot.

amother

Magenta

Mon, Sep 23 2019, 10:24 pm

At first I thought this was a sleep issue but now I’m thinking maybe it’s just that he’s craving more time with you since the newborn. Could that be? Maybe you could try making some “special time” with him after school (maybe if the baby is napping or can be put down for a little...or if not, keep the baby in a baby carrier so that the baby can be held but you still have two hands available for your son.) It doesn’t have to be any special activity. Just dedicate a specified amount of time without distractions.

I wonder if this would help him be more willing to let you go at night. In addition to this, I’d recommend making sure it’s completely dark in his room after lights are off/books are read. No nightlights. Even the lamp you use to read him books, I’d recommend swapping out the lightbulb for one that is blue light free. The blue light in typical lightbulbs can trick the brain into thinking it’s daytime.

It’s great that he’s getting outdoor time and sunlight - that helps the body’s internal clock. Try helping his internal clock even more by reducing the amount of light in the house as evening gets closer. You might want to even try leaving the lights in the house off after school (the sun should be giving enough light through the windows) and letting the sun go down acts as a natural cue for the body to start producing melatonin.

amother

Mon, Sep 23 2019, 10:34 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

I pick him up every day at 3. Baby naps from 2-5, so me and 3yo have from 3-5 to play, read, color, make supper together, prepare lunch and pack knapsack for the next day (together), eat snack (again- together). Once he's got his mommy-fix, he behaves really well and plays by himself.

I know his favorite books by heart, so I recite them to him while turning the pages once it gets too dark to actually read. I dont use a lamp or nightlight.

I like the idea of leaving the lights off! I'll try that.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Sep 23 2019, 10:47 pm

Ideally you'd want to do a sleep study to clear him for behavioral/sleep training, but I would at least check with doc first.

There are lots of sleep training methods.

Which brings me to this:

What is he experiencing when you put him to sleep? Are you hugging him? If so, do whatever you can to replicate that "hugged" feel. There are weighted blankets you can buy. Just be sure he is physically able to re-cover himself if he wakes in the middle of the night. He may just be seeking that sensory input.

amother

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 8:25 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

Ok I'll run it by his ped.
When he goes to sleep, I give him chills on his back and read books out loud until he falls asleep. I tried doing the same thing at 2 am when he woke up once, but he just stayed up until 4:30. He kept freaking out every time I tried leaving his room.

amother

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 8:30 am

bet wrote:

Has he ever done this before? Maybe rule out all medical or physical issues- sleep apnea, toilet training fears, pains( my 3 year old is getting molars according to his doctor!)

It's a new thing! Just started 2 nights before Baby's bris. So like a little over 2 weeks ago. He climbed out of his crib because of all the commotion downstairs. Now that he can climb out, theres literally no reason he won't. So I moved him to a bed because it's safer.
I keep telling myself that it's a stage, and we'll overcome it, and I'm taking it one day (and like 3 coffees) at a time! But the poor guy is so tired. His skin is always pale, and his eyes are puffy, and he has bags under them. In the afternoons he's shleppy and kvetchy, and in the morning it takes a while for him to get over crankiness.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:49 am

My son had similar issues. I didn't need to lay with him, but could put him in and he'd still be awake 3 hours later. His body just couldn't settle down. It was suggested that we get him a weighted blanket. The weight from the blanket is like a deep massage and helps the body naturally produce melatonin. It worked wonders. We recently passed his blanket down to my next son who had trouble falling asleep.

The weight of the blanket, especially for a little kid, can not be too heavy. Max is 10% of his weight + 1 lb. So a 30 lb kid should have max 4 lbs. Under 5 lbs is hard to find unless you go custom--which is not cheap.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 9:43 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Is it possible he just waking from the new noises in the house? Like shuffling at night for diaper changes/crying/feedings? If this is newer for DS maybe he could use a noise machine?

amother

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 10:40 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

Is it possible he just waking from the new noises in the house? Like shuffling at night for diaper changes/crying/feedings? If this is newer for DS maybe he could use a noise machine?

I just bought a noise machine today, actually.
When he comes into our room, everyone is sleeping. He wanders in at like 2:30. B"H last night he slept in his bed from 7:30pm till 6am! Of course I showed him how excited I was, and we started a sticker chart. I hoooooope it works. Tonight he was very excited to go to sleep, especially because of the noise machine. Fell asleep at 7:30 after 45 min of books and chills. Let's see what happens.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 11:00 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

Alternatively, you can buy a compression sheet, which has a similar effect.