Feeling nothing | Imamother

amother

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 8:49 am

Help.
This year it’s like nothing
It’s really bothering me
So much to be thankful for

I’m not depressed since I’m happy all the time
Just not feeling it
????

singleagain

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 8:58 am

Not feeling what?

Also, depression is a chemical thing. It's possible to be both happy and living with depression. I'm very often happy but I still have a diagnosis of depression.

I'm not saying that you are indeed depressed, just please understand your wording makes av difference.

amother

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:01 am

Feeling the immenent Chag
Reflecting on the te that passed
Like if it’s RH
It feels like just a Shabbat coming up with tons of guests
Don’t know how to describe

PinkFridge

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:08 am

There's a pasuk in Hallel, He'emanti ki adaber. You can read the pashut p'shat. There is also a classic homiletic thought: I believe because I speak.
Talk the talk. Take a few minutes to write down five things you're grateful for every day. Or think of them at Modim. Tell Hashem that deep down, you do feel all the things you are supposed to, and that this is why you're doing all the appropriate things now - tzedaka, the physical preparations for yom tov, trying to spend some time on ruchniyus (e.g. listening to or reading shiurim) - so I am clearly trying to live a life in Your service.

Now I have a question, that you don't have to answer. Why is this year different? Did something really big happen last year? Big in the obviously positive or negative way that made Elul and Tishrei that much more immediate?

PinkFridge

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Feeling the immenent Chag
Reflecting on the te that passed
Like if it’s RH
It feels like just a Shabbat coming up with tons of guests
Don’t know how to describe

So focus on the tons of guests. Do it with simcha. You know the song, when Mommy does whatever for Shabbos kodesh she always sings this soon, l'kavod Shabbos Shabbos kodesh Shabbos is coming soon. Do it with yom tov. Try to get the feeling again, but if you can't get the exact feeling you want, get other positive feelings. Allow yourself to feel excitement, pleasure in the bounty of good food you're preparing, to have these people and relationships in your lives, even if they're sometimes challenging, whatever. Iy"H may you be able to use that as a springboard to get where you want to be.

amother

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 12:30 pm

Thanks everyone
I am happy
I am grateful
I love cooking
I love guests

For some reason it just doesn’t feel like RH

I feel like it’s just normal preps for a big gathering

Hard to explain

So I guess I’ll FAKE IT TILL I MAKE IT

I just don’t want to wake up Simchat Torah and feel I missed my opportunity
Maybe if Teshuva????

STMommy

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 1:52 pm

same boat OP. I am fully aware that I am 'hardening my heart' to the impending RH in self-defense and self preservation because I have soooo much going on in my life right now, that worrying or even thinking about the looming Yom HaDin would send me over the edge. So I am focusing on my menu and when I'm even gonna have time to cook stuff, and will probably open the dam once I'm in shul, as has happened the last two years with so much on my plate.
Op may your tefillos be meaningful and effective for you and all klal yisrael.

amother

Tue, Sep 24 2019, 3:55 pm

STMommy wrote:

I’m so sorry to hear you are struggling
May Hashem send you a year full of only sweet things

But I dont have a reason for this.

I need to constantly remind myself it’s going to be RH.
Chas Veshalom if it wasn’t for the fact that my family tells me, and I’m having guest
I might forget it’s RH all together

Elfrida

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 5:53 am

Say לדוד ה' אורי twice a day morning and evening. Even if you don't manage to daven regularly a perek of tehillim only takes a few moments.

That perek (כז') is so associated with the chagim that it can help you get into that mindset. And the wording of the perek can also give you another push.

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 9:07 am

20 minutes of talking to Hashem in your own words, daily. Once you start doing this everything will open up. Ksiva v'chasima tova!