Home

Scared I won't be able to stop crying in shul this year
1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:25 am
It's been a really tough year, with a lot of challenges. The past few months have been especially hard and I've been crying a lot. I'm not depressed, I discussed it with my therapist and she agrees that it's situational, not depression. But I'm really nervous that I'll spend most of my time in shul crying. The issues were already starting at this time last year, so I did cry more than I usually do, but it was still within the realm of normal.

I don't want to stay home, because my children and I need the tefillos more than ever, but I'll be really embarrassed if I'm crying uncontrollably most of davening. It's a young shul, so it's not like there are the old ladies crying in the front, I'll really stand out.

Gosh, I feel really petty even writing this. Does anyone out there understand me?
Back to top

amother




Tangerine


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:30 am
People will think you’re a tzadekes and envy your kavanah. But weep quietly if you can. May you be blessed with a good year in all ways.
Back to top

amother




Mint


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:31 am
If you're embarrassed to be crying, I can assure you (from personal experience), that you will not cry the whole time. You'll be in public, not in your bedroom or car alone.
Back to top

amother




OP


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:33 am
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
People will think you’re a tzadekes and envy your kavanah. But weep quietly if you can. May you be blessed with a good year in all ways.


They all already know me, I'm a nice person but no tzadekes Wink
Back to top

amother




OP


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:33 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
If you're embarrassed to be crying, I can assure you (from personal experience), that you will not cry the whole time. You'll be in public, not in your bedroom or car alone.


I really hope you're right, thanks for the reassurance.
Back to top

amother




Lime


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:36 am
I have broken down crying in shul a few years during particularly challenging times, I tried to be as quiet as possible, as much as possible. There are always some people crying in my shul on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, it is not unusual.
For the past few years I have not been able to spend so much time in shul for good reasons and I have cried tears of gratitude at home
Back to top

amother




Mint


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:36 am
Also, most of us zone out during davening at some point, for better or worse. The many hours you'll be in shul will not be spent with total focus, thinking about your problems every moment.
Back to top

seeker




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:42 am
First of all, hugs for your struggles.

Secondly, I think it's a flaw of our generation that we feel we need to hide our feelings. As I get older I realize that the "old ladies'" ability to cry during davening is actually a virtue to envy. Would that we could have such an emotional connection to Hashem.

Third, if you feel that it's too overwhelming for you, you can visit the ladies' room until you're re-regulated.
Back to top

amother




Coral


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 9:45 am
I know that when I suddenly heard a woman weeping in shul it made me emotional also and inspired me to daven with more kavana.
Back to top

amother




Ginger


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:06 am
Why on earth would you be embarrassed to cry while you daven? That is the highest level of emotional expression and closeness to Hashem...it means you truly feel the words of your tefillos and that you know it is Hashem who determines all the outcomes in your life. When I read the words of the Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur machzur I automatically tear up, they are so beautiful and wake me up to return to my Creator, and appeal to Him for everything I need in life... As long as you are not moaning, shaking, or otherwise making a scene and disturbing others, no one cares about what you are doing, and if they see your tears, they will think "that makes sense, she's davening on Rosh Hashana". Please don't worry another second about this "dilemma.". Kesiva v'chasima tova!
Back to top

heidi




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:12 am
OP I really understand you. My shul is modern Orthodox and there is no real crying going on.
Twice I had really horrible things happen to me right in this season and couldn't restrain from crying on the ימים נוראים.
Do try to keep it quiet and bring lots of tissues.
Also, if you feel really uncomfortable, realize that Hashem hears your tefillot from your living room also.
שנה טובה ומתוקה!!
Back to top

naturalmom5




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:13 am
Don't be embarrassed OP
If it's sincere tears and you aren't just putting on a show, the people who aren't crying are the ones who should be embarrassed

Ctiva v chasima tova
Back to top

amother




Maroon


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:16 am
Here's my perspective. I would be jealous of you, I bh have plenty to cry and daven for. My eyes usually remain dry throughout, and I always wish I can feel connected to Hashem and my emotions, and release some tears and have a good, cleansing cry.
May you be blessed with a year with all the Brachos that you're davening for.
Back to top

SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:29 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
It's been a really tough year, with a lot of challenges. The past few months have been especially hard and I've been crying a lot. I'm not depressed, I discussed it with my therapist and she agrees that it's situational, not depression. But I'm really nervous that I'll spend most of my time in shul crying. The issues were already starting at this time last year, so I did cry more than I usually do, but it was still within the realm of normal.

I don't want to stay home, because my children and I need the tefillos more than ever, but I'll be really embarrassed if I'm crying uncontrollably most of davening. It's a young shul, so it's not like there are the old ladies crying in the front, I'll really stand out.

Gosh, I feel really petty even writing this. Does anyone out there understand me?


Sending my hopes and wishes that Hashem answers your teffilot, and that next year, you'll be wondering how to control your joy at shul.

My vote is to go to shul. The whole atmosphere of love and support will, hopefully, buoy you up. And if not, there's always the ladies' room.

Shana tova u'metukah.
Back to top

amother




Sienna


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:38 am
I really want to cry during the davening, but am too embarrassed, so I daven a portion at home in order to let the tears flow.
Back to top

ShishKabob




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 10:52 am
OP, Shaarei Dimaos Lo Ninalim. I would go to shul. As long as you don't actively disturb the other people, I wouldn't worry about it. Bury your head in your machzor and keep a box of tissues handy with a bag to dispose of it.
You have no idea how precious your tears are. Heartfelt prayers always go straight up.
Ksiva Vchasima Tova!
Back to top

amother




Orange


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:20 am
Even good years I cry in shul RH and YK. Last year my life was only just beginning to rebound from a major marriage crisis. I cried non-stop. But it was fine. I did it quietly, brought plenty of tissues, excused myself to the bathroom or to step outside for air when necessary. Oh, and maybe most important, I wore sunglasses the whole time.
May you be blessed with the sweetest year!
Back to top

sarahmalka




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:26 am
OP me too!
I'm tearing up a little even just reading this thread. let's think of each other during davening to give each other chizuk and acceptance from afar.
Back to top

greenfire




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:30 am
bring a lot of tissues ... if you cannot cry to Hashem on this holy day then when & I don't know who would be judging you

may all your tefilos be heard in revealed goodness !!!


Last edited by greenfire on Tue, Sep 24 2019, 12:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

trixx




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 24 2019, 11:51 am
I'm inspired by people crying during davening. As long as it's not loud wailing that disturbs others, it's a beautiful sound that belongs in shul.
Back to top
1, 2  Next Recent Topics

Page 1 of 2 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Nutritionist for 10 year old boy with adhd
by amother
3 Today at 4:54 pm View last post
3 year old tantrums
by amother
1 Sun, Nov 10 2019, 2:36 pm View last post
Scared
by amother
7 Sat, Nov 09 2019, 10:23 pm View last post
[Lakewood] Is this a reasonable curfew for a 14 year old?? 25 Fri, Nov 08 2019, 9:06 am View last post
Where can I find a DOWN jacket for a 13 year old boy?
by amother
10 Thu, Nov 07 2019, 2:59 pm View last post

Jump to: