I don't know what to do!!!!!

Rappel

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 3:57 am

Scenario: DD is 21 months old. It's late morning. She's exhausted. She needs to nap. She goes to her bed, demands a bottle and her blankie, and lays down while I sing her a song and give her a kiss.

Then:

Option A: I sit with her in her darkened room. She will drink her bottle, then get up, play, tell me to read a book... She won't nap. She'll be crying and tired for the rest of the day.

Option B: I leave, and lock her bedroom door. She screams for one minute, then returns to her bed. I check 5 minutes later, and she's asleep. She'll nap for around 2 hours, and then play until 5-6 pm.

I hate cry-it-out, and it tears my heart when she calls for me and I don't come, but I don't know what other options I have. This is getting ridiculous.

amother

Gray

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 4:40 am

Rappel wrote:

I think you know what the correct option is here.

The only thing I would change is the communication.

"DD, it is time to nap. Mommy is going to close the door so you can have quiet time to go into your bed. I will come back in a few minutes to check on you. I know you don't like being in your room by yourself, but Hashem is always with you."

Even though she won't understand all of this at 21 months, I think it changes the tone of the cry-it-out for both of you.

I would also cheer her on when she wakes up from the nap. "YAY DD! You laid down so nicely and took a nap. Now you aren't tired and we can play a game! Do you want to play with water, or with the balls?"

Rappel

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 4:47 am

Thank you. I always tell her that I will see her after her nap, but your expanded explanation is much better.

grace413

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 5:17 am

You are doing fine with option B. We all hate to hear our kids cry but it's impossible to avoid. Some kids just need to burn off some steam by crying no matter how tired they are.

salt

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 6:20 am

I wouldn't even call screaming for 1 minute 'crying it out' - is it literally 1 minute? That's great.
I imagine that after a while even that will stop.

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 6:25 am

Some kids cry when they feel sleepy. Toddlers, in general, find transitions difficult. A tired child will start to lose her control. Add it up and you have a teary one minute before nap. Maybe start nap time earlier before she becomes overtired? Other than that, my suggestion is just to leave her and let her sleep. Clearly, your presence distracts her.

SuperWify

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 7:16 am

She cries for one minute? That’s not CIO lol. She’s good, don’t worry.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 7:32 am

Crying for 1 minute is not "letting her cry". Even 5 minutes of crying is not letting her cry either! Some kids cry for a bit when they go to sleep, it's normal.

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 7:47 am

1 minutes of crying is amazingly little! Stick with B, and add amother gray's suggestion.

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 7:52 am

I am very against cio, but that's not what you're describing.