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High School Hashkafa, s/o other side of mechitza
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 2:52 pm
School isn't there to prepare for marriage

If what you teach is against your belief have the guts to QUIT (I did, about something else)
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amother




Navy


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 2:55 pm
The way I see it, you have to aim higher and then hopefully you'll be left with something.
Most girls I know drop some things after high school and are overall not as idealistic as they used to be. Their standards really do get lower after leaving school for a while.
I think that we should try to push them to do the most, and then hopefully, they'll do something.
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amother




Peach


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 2:56 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
The way I see it, you have to aim higher and then hopefully you'll be left with something.
Most girls I know drop some things after high school and are overall not as idealistic as they used to be. Their standards really do get lower after leaving school for a while.
I think that we should try to push them to do the most, and then hopefully, they'll do something.


I hear what you're saying, but I don't think that's a good reason to teach pie-in-the-sky, unrealistic hashkafos.

Many women find themselves in situations that they thought they wanted, but they didn't realize what the reality would be like.

For me personally, my biggest issue is overwhelming guilt that I could not live up to the standards of my Bais Yaakov and society at large.
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amother




OP


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 3:11 pm
Ruchel wrote:
School isn't there to prepare for marriage

If what you teach is against your belief have the guts to QUIT (I did, about something else)


Its not preperation for marriage when it comes to respecting and valuing good middos only when it comes to kollel and the internet. Really?!
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 3:35 pm
I stand by my words
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amother




Puce


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 3:39 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Go speak to Rabbonim, kallah teachers etc.. and you will hear about the shalom bayis issues this causes.


Those same teachers taught that you are not your husbands mashgiach...
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seeker




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 5:06 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Its really hard for me to explain so instead I will tell you a story. When I was in high school I had a teacher that was NOT the norm. She was talking to us I think about kabbalos and anger and said that if we have siblings coming into our room and we get mad that we should put a lock on our door. This smart advice was the anamoly. More typically we would be given a story about someone who never lost his temper and got olam habba. This is one thing that comes to mind. Unbalanced, not grounded is mainstream. Teaching kids how to REALLY navigate their middos, relationships and future is foreign and even borders on heretical.

That's actually an excellent example. I love it. Not sure I agree with the extrapolation about not teaching kids to navigate their middos, I still think you're painting with a very broad brush. But the illustration of two different approaches is great.
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seeker




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Oct 02 2019, 5:13 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
The way I see it, you have to aim higher and then hopefully you'll be left with something.
Most girls I know drop some things after high school and are overall not as idealistic as they used to be. Their standards really do get lower after leaving school for a while.
I think that we should try to push them to do the most, and then hopefully, they'll do something.

Except I never saw any evidence that this works. More likely is that some of them see they can't reach the standard they were taught, so they mark the whole package as "not for them" and end up with nothing. The rest keep trying and feel like failures for falling short of the "aim higher" expectation, they end up either with emotional baggage of not feeling good enough, or running themselves ragged trying to be everything. Then there's a small percentage who actually do become tzadikim, and another probably larger percentage who figure out on their own a more reasonable approach to life (like probably most of us here.)
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