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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Sun, Oct 06 2019, 9:24 am
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
Yes like this if the cops are called they can be checked and nothing will be found on them and then in 2 weeks they’ll take it and no one is checking them then.


Sorry, this make no sense. The most logical thing to do would be to take it that day to a pawn shop. Most people would not notice jewelry missing immediately, so by the time it was discovered the jewelry would already be pawned. Why would someone leave it for two weeks and wait for them to notice it's missing? This sounds like a bubbe maisa.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 06 2019, 9:56 am
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
Yes like this if the cops are called they can be checked and nothing will be found on them and then in 2 weeks they’ll take it and no one is checking them then.


Because, like, they couldn’t give it to a friend or relative to hold.

Sorry. Not buying it.
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amother




Brunette


Post  Sun, Oct 06 2019, 10:19 am
This myth of the nonjewish housekeepers as thieves is just that. As it happens, the Jewish lady who worked for my patents when I was a teenager was a compulsive thief. Money, clothing, pretty much anything.

On the other hand, my cousin fired my nonjewish then housekeeper because she couldn't find something (which she found weeks later). The previous week the housekeeper had found my diamond eternity ring that was gone so long that I had given up on it.

What I am saying is that in terms of honesty, you need to look at the individual.

In terms of a nanny it's obviously more complicated, especially if she is there 40 or 50 hours a week, because that's your child''s chinuch time.
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amother




Crimson


Post  Sun, Oct 06 2019, 10:39 am
nchr wrote:
I personally prefer non Jewish help because in my experience as an American it is easier to find someone who genuinely cares about your children and is thankful to be given the job. Jewish women don't want to be nannies, live ins, etc. unless they have other special circumstances. My nanny is so thankful for the money, so gracious, has exceptional middos and loves children.


Isn't the issue moot for the most part?

A nanny is someone is generally defined as someone who comes to your house or lives in and provides full time child care services.

Are there really enough frum women who want to work as nannies? I would assume there number would be so few that it would be almost impossible to find one. Perhaps I don't understand the job market but it doesn't seem to be a field that frum women go into - a nanny is much different than a baby sitter who will take in a child on an hourly basis or a day care center which is a business which could be owned by a frum person.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 06 2019, 2:30 pm
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
This myth of the nonjewish housekeepers as thieves is just that.


Why is that a myth?

A large percentage of housekeepers are generally workers from 3rd world countries who know almost know who and are many times desperate for money. They have nothing keeping them from leaving the city or state.
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amother




Crimson


Post  Sun, Oct 06 2019, 2:55 pm
LovesHashem wrote:
Why is that a myth?

A large percentage of housekeepers are generally workers from 3rd world countries who know almost know who and are many times desperate for money. They have nothing keeping them from leaving the city or state.


Most people are honest. It's the height of prejudice to assume that anyone who isn't Jewish is a thief.

Most poor people aren't thieves and even most people have ties to the community and don't uproot their lives so they can steal something.

I don't know where you get your help but most people I know use personal recommendations. I now many many people who have cleaners and housekeepers of long standing and have never heard anyone say they were robbed by one of their workers.

To me this is just another paranoid prejudice of insular prejudiced people.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 06 2019, 2:59 pm
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
Most people are honest. It's the height of prejudice to assume that anyone who isn't Jewish is a thief.

Most poor people aren't thieves and even most people have ties to the community and don't uproot their lives so they can steal something.

I don't know where you get your help but most people I know use personal recommendations. I now many many people who have cleaners and housekeepers of long standing and have never heard anyone say they were robbed by one of their workers.

To me this is just another paranoid prejudice of insular prejudiced people.


Nothing to do with jewish non-jewish. People born in 3rd world countries, poor, needing money for family, etc. Do I think the majority of housekeepers steal? No. OF course not! But yes we do research, why cuz it happens! It's happened to plenty of my neighbors...

Also I'm the last person to be racist or mean to non-jews. I grew up OOT and I had friends and neighbors who weren't Jewish. Half of my teachers in school weren't jewish. I interacted with non-jews on a daily basis and have nothing against them whatsoever. I have very fond memories of my friends and old teachers.


Last edited by LovesHashem on Sun, Oct 06 2019, 3:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Oct 06 2019, 3:07 pm
I see an argument going back and forth about the honesty of a non-Jewish employee and the likelihood that they would be a thief.

That is NOT what I started this thread about. I have a non-Jewish cleaning lady whom I trust. She comes to my apartment when I'm not there. She has worked for my mother for years and never took anything. It's not coming from a prejudice regarding stealing. That is judged on an individual level, not based on Jewish vs. not Jewish.

What I started the thread about was specifically the hashkafic angle of having my young children spending so much time with a non-observant woman.
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amother




Brunette


Post  Sun, Oct 06 2019, 3:25 pm
LovesHashem wrote:
Why is that a myth?

A large percentage of housekeepers are generally workers from 3rd world countries who know almost know who and are many times desperate for money. They have nothing keeping them from leaving the city or state.


Poor people are not by definition thieves. Also, poor people, like all of us, have families and ties to the community and are not going to uproot just to steal your engagement ring.

But OP is right-- we've gotten off topic. OP, I think the answer is "it depends." I don't think that it's a problem to have a nonjewish nanny who is respectful of your values and willing to learn enoughto reinforce them for several hours a day. I do think that having even the most wonderful nonjewish nanny with your child for all their waking hours is a problem. I also don't think that every Jewish nanny is by definition going to espouse what you want. If the nanny is the primary caregiver and the primary influence on your child, you need to be very very careful no matter who they are. That's the bottom line.
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