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Who comes for sheva Brachos?

 
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:03 pm
Are the parents come to every sheva Brachos? What sbout single siblings? Do the parents go oot to the chosson city for sheva Brachos?
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:06 pm
In town, parents usually go to all Sheva Brachos. Single siblings would usually go only to the Sheva Brachos on their side (like, recently celebrated marriage of my niece. Her siblings came to the Sheva Brachos we made, but not to the ones Chassan's family made.)

Probably different OOT, so others can chime in for that.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:06 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Are the parents come to every sheva Brachos? What sbout single siblings? Do the parents go oot to the chosson city for sheva Brachos?


There are no rules.

Typically - people don't go to events they aren't invited to.
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amother




Orchid


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:10 pm
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
There are no rules.

Typically - people don't go to events they aren't invited to.


In some circles, the invitation doesn't mean that you have to (or even should) go.

Like, aunts and uncles may invite the other side's siblings, but it's not so usual for them to accept.

So for sure you don't go if you aren't invited, but if you are, doesn't mean you should take all your kids with you.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:15 pm
amother [ Orchid ] wrote:
In some circles, the invitation doesn't mean that you have to (or even should) go.

Like, aunts and uncles may invite the other side's siblings, but it's not so usual for them to accept.

So for sure you don't go if you aren't invited, but if you are, doesn't mean you should take all your kids with you.


Agree. Not really sure what OP is asking here.
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amother




Lilac


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:34 pm
Depends on the circles and family dynamic. The more RW the more likely that entire immediate family is expected to attend most if not all. In MO circles a lot of SB are hosted by friends for friends and family aren’t involved at all. In some circles SB are davka for people who couldn’t be invited to the wedding. Do what works for you.
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sky




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:37 pm
If family is from oot then single siblings traveling with parents should be invited.
Parents always invited. Sometimes will travel sometimes not. Depends on their circumstances. Or if just traveled for ufruf. Or how far.
Typically chassan family and siblings will travel in for Shabbos sheva brachos.


Last edited by sky on Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Lilac


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:38 pm
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
Depends on the circles and family dynamic. The more RW the more likely that entire immediate family is expected to attend most if not all. In MO circles a lot of SB are hosted by friends for friends and family aren’t involved at all. In some circles SB are davka for people who couldn’t be invited to the wedding. Do what works for you.


ETA you should never attend an event to which you weren’t invited, and never assume your kids are included in your invite. If you’re making the event, do let people know who is and is not included in the invitation, unless you don’t mind having twice as many guests as you planned for.
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amother




Khaki


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:39 pm
Parents and grandparents go to every sheva brachos. Single siblings is your choice wether to invite or not, but many do invite.
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:40 pm
Thank you. My question is who should we invite for sheva Brachos. I heard you are supposed to have at least one new person each sheva Brachos. Also are we supposed to travel to the chosson city to attend the sheva Brachos there?
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thank you. My question is who should we invite for sheva Brachos. I heard you are supposed to have at least one new person each sheva Brachos. Also are we supposed to travel to the chosson city to attend the sheva Brachos there?


the "new person" or panim chadashos simply has to be someone who wasn't at the bentching of the wedding or any previous Sheva Brachos.

So for example, if an uncle was at the wedding and had to leave early and wasn't there for bentching/sheva brachos, he could be the Panim Chadashos.

It does not literally have to be a new person.

Can't answer you about travelling OOT for Sheva Brachos, as I'm not familiar with what's expected. Perhaps name your location and others can chime in.
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sky




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 12:45 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thank you. My question is who should we invite for sheva Brachos. I heard you are supposed to have at least one new person each sheva Brachos. Also are we supposed to travel to the chosson city to attend the sheva Brachos there?


Whomever is hosting the sheva brachos chooses the new person. I believe they are needed to make sheva brachos at end.
Let host set # of guests. If they ask you you can suggest who to invite.
If you are making invite within your limit.
If you the have the ability to invite siblings of other side it’s nicer. I’ve been invited to Shabbos sheva brachos of all my brothers and brother in laws. (I was married with kids). In our community it’s pretty standard.
It is nice to travel. And builds relationship with other side. But if it is a hardship you don’t need to.
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imasoftov




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 1:01 pm
That there needs to be at least one "new face" at Sheva Berachot (except on Shabbat or Yom Tov, as the day is considered a "new face") is halacha. Which family members to invite is not.
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amother




Coffee


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 1:15 pm
Just wanted to put this out there
If you are the in laws
Please make a huge effort to sttend all SB that you are invited to.
My in laws didn’t and I felt very embarrassed and offended
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Thu, Oct 03 2019, 1:22 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
Just wanted to put this out there
If you are the in laws
Please make a huge effort to sttend all SB that you are invited to.
My in laws didn’t and I felt very embarrassed and offended


Did they have children at home?
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