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Why are you Davening after hurting people?



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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Oct 04 2019, 12:42 am
My DH has a nasty boss.
He speaks to some workers in real nasty ways. Criticism is a daily routine, he makes them feel like garbage, though they are devoted and hardworking. He fires people left and right, without prior notice.
He definitely underpays the ones he has a pick on, some but People don't just leave because it's hard to find decent jobs in today's economy.
Just before Rosh Hashanah he fired two hardworking workers, out of the blue. (Without compensation, claiming: I should've fired you a long time ago! )
He just sent them an email on Sunday, a week before yom tov- You're fired! Period.
He gave all workers a bonus for yom tov, besides for my DH, who is really devoted to his job. For no apparent reason. He just decided that he's not worth it.
He keeps degrading him and talking to him as if he's a bad person. My DH constantly feels that he's on a pedestal and is capable of losing his job any second, just like the others did.

This guy is very Frum. Considered Ehrlich. He gives Tzedaka and does all a jew needs to do.

I'm struggling with the thought of How can he come to Pray on Yom tov and ask for a good year after all he does?
Does Hashem need his prayers?
Why is such a person worthy to get a great parnassa, so he can hurt people and be the nice one giving out large checks to organizations and receive big recognition for being a baal tzedaka?

I know it's between him and Gd... ye ye...
The next world... ya da da...
But...
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Fri, Oct 04 2019, 12:53 am
OMG I was thinking similarly all week.

I just found out that someone who is a real Mechutzaf, he makes Choizik of and talks nastily to people much older than him, is a Magid Shiur in a very prestigious Yeshiva.

And then theres the relative who is always davening and doing good deeds publicly, but they think theyre G-d's gift to humanity and they put down people.

Who says life makes sense?

OP, I wish you that one day your husband should be a very successful but very nice boss.

I sincerely hope no one Mussars you for venting, because if we cant do it here, to let some steam off, where can we?
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Fri, Oct 04 2019, 12:56 am
Life has taught me, that all you need to do, is to wait.
It probably won't happen so fast, but Yesh Din, VeYesh Dayan.

I personally think, Hashem gave your boss a test of
a) having money
b) being in charge of other people

And yes, he's failing the test.

As the old adage says: "What comes around, goes around"

I'm sorry that your stuck on the receiving end.

But I truly believe, that Hashem will not bless him with all he wants this year.
Remember, he might have power and money, but we don't know if there's any mental illness in his close family, Shalom Bayis issues, children OTD,...

But you can Daven!
A person who's being insulted and does not respond in kind, has tremendous powers in Shamayim.
Also, count your other blessings. Hug
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relish




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:11 am
Your pain is very real. It’s okay to have these questions.

Please ask yourself how these kinds of questions are serving you, and find an alternative that builds you and dh to become strong enough to do something about it.

I.e. perhaps it’s helping you feel dignified, after being dishonored by his behavior. These kinds of questions pull you into his behavior, instead of pulling yourself out.
Another question you can ask yourself is “what can I do to help myself and my husband feel more dignified?”

Only you can know how the questions in your op are serving you. Only you can take it to the next level by activating the switch to bring more of that into your life, in a way that serves you more.

Whatever you choose, I wish you much success, health and happiness for the coming year.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:25 am
Thank you for your kind words. It feels nice to be validated.
I'm struggling with these emotions for a while, though I know this world is an Olam Hasheker and we don't understand Hashem's ways.
Am I allowed to think- Yesh Din Vyesh Dayin, when someone hurts me? Let them feel the pain they caused others?
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amother
Gray


 

Post Fri, Oct 04 2019, 2:05 am
Op, I think our husband's might be co-workers. That, or there are many frum bosses like that out there. ☹️
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kenz




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 04 2019, 6:20 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
Op, I think our husband's might be co-workers. That, or there are many frum bosses like that out there. ☹️

Halevai there should be only one boss out there like that. I personally have had more than one. I think (just an opinion, don’t jump on me) that OFTEN it takes a certain personality to be a boss and unfortunately it’s not necessarily one that lends itself to kindness. Obviously there are exceptions.
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abound




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 04 2019, 6:24 am
עולם הפוך הוא
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