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Pearl studs on shidduch photo?
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zaq




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 8:32 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
My grandmother was the type who's hat, gloves, purse, and shoes had to match at all times.

She told me that young ladies do not wear pearls until they are married. Pearls are considered a sign of maturity, and are not becoming on a single girl.

Take that for what you will.


FF, you’re a bit younger than I am—ok, quite a bit—but still, your gma had to have grown up no later than the 1940s and probably earlier. A lot has changed since then. For decades there was something called an Add-a-Pearl necklace that people sometimes bought even for toddlers. For each gifting occasion they could buy another pearl or three, so that by adulthood the young lady might have a good-length strand. If she was not so blessed, she would still have a nice gold chain embellished with as many pearls as she had acquired.

In the 1950s and 60s, a modest strand of pearls (real or fake) was a classic high school graduation gift. Indeed, in my sister’s yearbook ca 1966 and my cousin’s yearbook ca 1963, almost every girl sported one. . By the time I graduated, pearl necklaces were old hat and old lady, and no one under 70 would touch them. Imagine my surprise when some time in the 1980s I noticed all these twenty-somethings wearing the very pearls my generation so derided.
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watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 8:42 am
zaq wrote:
FF, you’re a bit younger than I am—ok, quite a bit—but still, your gma had to have grown up no later than the 1940s and probably earlier. A lot has changed since then. For decades there was something called an Add-a-Pearl necklace that people sometimes bought even for toddlers. For each gifting occasion they could buy another pearl or three, so that by adulthood the young lady might have a good-length strand. If she was not so blessed, she would still have a nice gold chain embellished with as many pearls as she had acquired.

In the 1950s and 60s, a modest strand of pearls (real or fake) was a classic high school graduation gift. Indeed, in my sister’s yearbook ca 1966 and my cousin’s yearbook ca 1963, almost every girl sported one. . By the time I graduated, pearl necklaces were old hat and old lady, and no one under 70 would touch them. Imagine my surprise when some time in the 1980s I noticed all these twenty-somethings wearing the very pearls my generation so derided.

In the frum world too, pearl necklaces seem to go in and out. When I first got married in 2001, pearl necklaces were the yichud room gift (from eishel chayil, ya know?). Then it changed to a diamond necklace some time after (no idea why; thats not in the song!). Pearls are apparently too plain and simple. And not $$$ enough.
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 8:51 am
None of my friends got diamonds or pearls in yichud room
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watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 8:54 am
Ruchel wrote:
None of my friends got diamonds or pearls in yichud room

I assume there are different trends in different places/countries.
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amother




Crimson


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 9:15 am
watergirl wrote:
I agree with you on this so strongly! Some of the "fashions" that are coming out every year are so absurd looking, I almost wonder if the brands have a wheel they spin to come up with random ideas and then put them together in one dress. And then stand back and laugh at what they managed to convince us all to buy just by slapping an obscene price tag on. No one in the secular world would wear some of the things we wear or dress our kids in.

I remember I was once shopping for 3/4 falls and the sheitel macher commented to me that only in the frum world do you see grown women wearing headbands like that (this was a while ago, it was not in fashion then) or grown women with thick, thick bangs (again, a while ago).

Yes, I am very aware the runway models sport these looks. But thats about it.

(Bracing for the tomatos)

You’re right but no one cares.
It works for everyone to feel good etc.
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watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 9:18 am
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
You’re right but no one cares.
It works for everyone to feel good etc.

Yes! To each his own! Point is, we should ALL get to feel good in our clothing. Trends, not trends... whatever!
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amother




Blue


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 9:19 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
My grandmother was the type who's hat, gloves, purse, and shoes had to match at all times.

She told me that young ladies do not wear pearls until they are married. Pearls are considered a sign of maturity, and are not becoming on a single girl.

Take that for what you will.


And my grandfather alav hashalom was in the pearl industry, so I've been wearing pearls since I was a baby. I had a teeny tiny little pearl bracelet and my daughters got them too when they were born. DH certainly didn't buy me a pearl necklace to give me in the yichud room because that would have been like bringing coal to Newcastle!

I don't have shidduch aged daughters yet and I'm not part of the "Yeshiva world" but I really hope that parents are considering personalities and middos more important aspects for their future daughters in law than accessories.
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amother




Navy


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 9:36 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
And my grandfather alav hashalom was in the pearl industry, so I've been wearing pearls since I was a baby. I had a teeny tiny little pearl bracelet and my daughters got them too when they were born. DH certainly didn't buy me a pearl necklace to give me in the yichud room because that would have been like bringing coal to Newcastle!

I don't have shidduch aged daughters yet and I'm not part of the "Yeshiva world" but I really hope that parents are considering personalities and middos more important aspects for their future daughters in law than accessories.

How can you tell personality and middot other than by accessories?
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 10:03 am
I did not read anything past the OP's 2 posts on the first page.
A few questions:
1. Is thus a joke?
2. If not, how much more put together can one look than pearls? So classy.
3. If this is a real question, although not sure anymore, as the op has not returned since page one, I actually feel very bad for your son that YOU are thinking at all about what the earrings say sbout a potential life partner for your child.
I am beyond grateful that I dontive in that world and that my child will decide, not me or my husband, who will merit a date or not.

OP, if this is rral, please think twice about your question. The type of earrings is so beyond NOT important in this.
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urban gypsy




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 10:12 am
watergirl wrote:
I agree with you on this so strongly! Some of the "fashions" that are coming out every year are so absurd looking, I almost wonder if the brands have a wheel they spin to come up with random ideas and then put them together in one dress. And then stand back and laugh at what they managed to convince us all to buy just by slapping an obscene price tag on. No one in the secular world would wear some of the things we wear or dress our kids in.

I remember I was once shopping for 3/4 falls and the sheitel macher commented to me that only in the frum world do you see grown women wearing headbands like that (this was a while ago, it was not in fashion then) or grown women with thick, thick bangs (again, a while ago).


In general I always get very irritated when posters on here mock "the fashion world" as being silly and out of touch. Trends in the real fashion world are a response to mood and climate in art, culture and society. They follow their own rhythms and patterns, and just because people who are not clued in don't understand them, or have no taste, that doesn't mean they are frivolous or random. You don't have to like them or wear them, but I hate when uninformed people just dismiss them out of hand. It makes you look ignorant.

Now frum fashions are a totally different story. I don't mean to over-generalize but goodness me some of them are so cringeworthy. They just show up with no rhyme or reason or sense of proportion or taste. Some of them look truly awful. I am all for wearing what you want (I don't wear trends at all, I just wear the same types of styles I like year after year because I like how I look in them and they make me happy) but gosh please stop dressing up a sow's ear as a silk purse and calling it fashion (ESPECIALLY AT THOSE CRIMINAL PRICES BUT THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER RANT)
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urban gypsy




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 10:13 am
zaq wrote:
Imagine my surprise when some time in the 1980s I noticed all these twenty-somethings wearing the very pearls my generation so derided.


I LOVE THE 80's IMITATING 20's STYLE!!!! My favourite look Heart
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 10:23 am
urban gypsy wrote:
gosh please stop dressing up a sow's ear as a silk purse and calling it fashion (ESPECIALLY AT THOSE CRIMINAL PRICES BUT THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER RANT)


YAAAAAS! Preach it girl.

The stores are now full of all the latest styles for the holidays. I'm finding frum "fashion" to be very confusing these days.

There's enough glitter, rhinestones, sequins, fur, and feathers to gag a drag queen! Puke
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urban gypsy




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 10:33 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
YAAAAAS! Preach it girl.

The stores are now full of all the latest styles for the holidays. I'm finding frum "fashion" to be very confusing these days.

There's enough glitter, rhinestones, sequins, fur, and feathers to gag a drag queen! Puke


I love the bedazzled look but the frum version always looks like a kindergarten craft project for some reason, IDK why. Like really sloppy and crazy.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 10:51 am
urban gypsy wrote:
In general I always get very irritated when posters on here mock "the fashion world" as being silly and out of touch. Trends in the real fashion world are a response to mood and climate in art, culture and society. They follow their own rhythms and patterns, and just because people who are not clued in don't understand them, or have no taste, that doesn't mean they are frivolous or random. You don't have to like them or wear them, but I hate when uninformed people just dismiss them out of hand. It makes you look ignorant.

Now frum fashions are a totally different story. I don't mean to over-generalize but goodness me some of them are so cringeworthy. They just show up with no rhyme or reason or sense of proportion or taste. Some of them look truly awful. I am all for wearing what you want (I don't wear trends at all, I just wear the same types of styles I like year after year because I like how I look in them and they make me happy) but gosh please stop dressing up a sow's ear as a silk purse and calling it fashion (ESPECIALLY AT THOSE CRIMINAL PRICES BUT THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER RANT)


And I disagree about frum fashion. In general frum fashion follows general fashion. Unless you’re super chassidish/yeshividh because then you are much more limited, so there are more rules. But I wouldn’t call them random.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 11:07 am
zaq wrote:
FF, you’re a bit younger than I am—ok, quite a bit—but still, your gma had to have grown up no later than the 1940s and probably earlier. A lot has changed since then. For decades there was something called an Add-a-Pearl necklace that people sometimes bought even for toddlers. For each gifting occasion they could buy another pearl or three, so that by adulthood the young lady might have a good-length strand. If she was not so blessed, she would still have a nice gold chain embellished with as many pearls as she had acquired.

In the 1950s and 60s, a modest strand of pearls (real or fake) was a classic high school graduation gift. Indeed, in my sister’s yearbook ca 1966 and my cousin’s yearbook ca 1963, almost every girl sported one. . By the time I graduated, pearl necklaces were old hat and old lady, and no one under 70 would touch them. Imagine my surprise when some time in the 1980s I noticed all these twenty-somethings wearing the very pearls my generation so derided.


I think we're about the same age, and I'm certain that I wore a strand of pearls in my high school graduation photo. I'm pretty sure that a lot of my classmates did as well.

Pearls are always in style, but the type of pearls and settings change.
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 11:22 am
I wouldn't have touched pearls as a teen, then went through a phase as a newlywed, now don't use them (you make me think I should, if only because I own the pearls
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amother




Blush


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 11:28 am
watergirl wrote:
In the frum world too, pearl necklaces seem to go in and out. When I first got married in 2001, pearl necklaces were the yichud room gift (from eishel chayil, ya know?). Then it changed to a diamond necklace some time after (no idea why; thats not in the song!). Pearls are apparently too plain and simple. And not $$$ enough.


I got married in 2013 and got pearls. As did my sisters who got married after me. I know that some mechutanim offer a choice (pearls or diamonds) but our inlaws aren't rich enough and weren't looking to spend more (after buying a watch, bracelet, ring and earrings...)
Chassidish.
I love my pearls. I think a pearl necklace is classy, beautiful and goes with pretty much everything.
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 11:49 am
I'd be so embarrassed if my in laws bought me a watch, bracelet etc. especially I don't use some of those...
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zaq




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 2:54 pm
Watergirl, it’s all of a piece. kol hamarbeh harei zeh meshubach Where once upon a time a bar mitzvah was doing well to Lein ‏הפטרה, now he’s a failure if he doesn’t lein the ‏פרשה and ‏הפטרה and daven by the ‏עמוד as well. Where once 400 people was a BIG wedding, now it’s the caterer’s minimum. Where once a pearl necklace was a coveted gift, now it’s diamonds or nothing.

People seem to have forgotten that the correct quotation is.
‏ כל המרבה לספר ביציאת מצרים הרי זה משובח
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amother




Yellow


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 2:57 pm
amother [ Blush ] wrote:
I got married in 2013 and got pearls. As did my sisters who got married after me. I know that some mechutanim offer a choice (pearls or diamonds) but our inlaws aren't rich enough and weren't looking to spend more (after buying a watch, bracelet, ring and earrings...)
Chassidish.
I love my pearls. I think a pearl necklace is classy, beautiful and goes with pretty much everything.


I didn't want pearls in the yichud room because I didn't have any use for them, but I didn't tell my chosson that. He (or his mother) got me pearls. I wear them now. I like them because they're from my DH, so I've grown to like wearing them in general.
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