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Pearl studs on shidduch photo?
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amother




Slategray


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 3:10 pm
zaq wrote:
Watergirl, it’s all of a piece. kol hamarbeh harei zeh meshubach Where once upon a time a bar mitzvah was doing well to Lein ‏הפטרה, now he’s a failure if he doesn’t lein the ‏פרשה and ‏הפטרה and daven by the ‏עמוד as well. Where once 400 people was a BIG wedding, now it’s the caterer’s minimum. Where once a pearl necklace was a coveted gift, now it’s diamonds or nothing.

People seem to have forgotten that the correct quotation is.
‏ כל המרבה לספר ביציאת מצרים הרי זה משובח


I may very well withhold a diamond necklace from my dil. I don't think nice ones are age appropriate. And the skimpy ones look skimpy.

DH bought DD a magnificent diamond and pearl choker. Think tiara type. I told DD she can wear it when she's 45.

What are the parents thinking of when they do this? So far I only know 2 kallahs that got a diamond necklace. Both had fathers collecting for the couple.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 3:15 pm
Can someone post an image of the type of diamond necklaces given to brides? Curious, and most assuredly not my community.
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amother




Slategray


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 3:47 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
Can someone post an image of the type of diamond necklaces given to brides? Curious, and most assuredly not my community.


https://images.app.goo.gl/SBRoyLK3nevNgtUC9
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Mama Bear




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 4:05 pm
OP has still not come back?
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Squishy




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 11 2019, 4:23 pm
Mama Bear wrote:
OP has still not come back?

She came back to edit her opening post. I don't blame her after the way she was attacked.
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Rappel




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Oct 12 2019, 9:52 pm
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
https://images.app.goo.gl/SBRoyLK3nevNgtUC9


Stoooooop. That's standard now??

If I were to see that on someone, I would automatically assume that it's costume jewelry, and way overdone. Who can pull that off except for an Opera star in Vienna??? Not I.
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eema1




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 12:55 am
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
I put on my black pencil skirt, cuz I am on the market.
I paid extra for valet, cuz it's not classy to park it.

But they said pencils are too tight, and I look too trendy.
They said that valets cost too much, and make me look spendy.

I put on my stockings today, so folks see I'm in style.
I picked out my flats with care, so I'll make it to the aisle.

But they said that nude is out of season, I should have worn the black.
They said that guys want girls with heels, too bad about my back.

I put on a pretty ring today, didn't think anyone would mind.
I chose a muted color top so I'd look more refined.

But they said that now I look taken, although my ring is pink.
They said my top made me look dull, bad for shidduchim, they think.

I put on some little studs, so my earrings won't be too showy.
I put my hair in a half-pony so it wouldn't be too flowy.

But they said studs are babyish and make me look out of touch.
They said that my hair made me look like I was trying too much.

...I finally gave up altogether, there's no way to please them all.
It's just one guy that I need; he'll have to make the call.

~

My son wants a skinny girl, zero is what he means.
(Really the guy has no clue - just wants smaller than size 18s.)

My son wants a pretty girl, so I scratched some from my folder.
(But he loves that one you thought too plain - beauty is for the beholder.)

My son wants someone who's smart, so I need report cards shared.
(Turns out he didn't mean GPA, about that he never cared.)

My son wants a girl who can cook, so I'll need to taste her chicken Viennese.
(He just wants someone who can make his favorite, macaroni and cheese.)

~

When it's your son in shidduchim, it may be tough to stay calm.
But remember, they want to marry your son - not to marry his mom.


This is awesome, did u write this..can I share it with some friends of mine?
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 12:58 am
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
https://images.app.goo.gl/SBRoyLK3nevNgtUC9


Thanks. I think.
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amother




Peach


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 1:07 am
eema1 wrote:
This is awesome, did u write this..can I share it with some friends of mine?

Yes and of course! The fun of writing is when people enjoy it Smile

(And of course if it makes shidduchim a little less ridiculous...)
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 8:24 am
Just wanted to say, that was my lovely daughter's photo being analyzed here, and I already told the shadchan NO to OP's son. Case closed.
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amother




Crimson


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 8:46 am
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
Just wanted to say, that was my lovely daughter's photo being analyzed here, and I already told the shadchan NO to OP's son. Case closed.

How do you know?
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Mama Bear




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 9:29 am
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
Just wanted to say, that was my lovely daughter's photo being analyzed here, and I already told the shadchan NO to OP's son. Case closed.



what????
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amother




Teal


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 9:35 am
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
Correct.
And that our daughters feel comfortable and are popular (yes they all are, and yes at their preteen age it makes a difference).
Again, we don’t run after trends, but fir example the uniform skirt is 4 inches below the knee, not 14.
P.S. if someone has a minhag to wear longer I’m not talking about that! I’m talking about longer that looks nebby just out of cluelessness and out of not knowing how to dress put-together.
Which is perfectly fine to many people!
But if her son wants put together, she’s allowed to find out!


Totally off topic, but when I was in hs 13 yrs ago, everyone wore long uniform skirts. The ones who wore short ones were a little nerdy 😉 and my sisters tell me that it’s still like that.

But I agree with you btw, I’m the same way. I enjoy dressing in a trendy way and can bH afford it. And my husband likes that I dress in style as well, even though he doesn’t always known or get the nuances of latest trends.
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chayamo




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 9:36 am
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
Just wanted to say, that was my lovely daughter's photo being analyzed here, and I already told the shadchan NO to OP's son. Case closed.


How in the world do you know that??
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dancingqueen




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 9:49 am
Pearl studs never go out of style. Diamond studs, same. A strand of pearls is a classic, but not exactly trendy (which is fine). A heavy diamond necklace like amother posted looks ostentatious and imo ridiculous on an 18 year old. Unless you are attending the academy awards, that is.
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amother




Teal


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 9:52 am
watergirl wrote:
I agree with you on this so strongly! Some of the "fashions" that are coming out every year are so absurd looking, I almost wonder if the brands have a wheel they spin to come up with random ideas and then put them together in one dress. And then stand back and laugh at what they managed to convince us all to buy just by slapping an obscene price tag on. No one in the secular world would wear some of the things we wear or dress our kids in.

I remember I was once shopping for 3/4 falls and the sheitel macher commented to me that only in the frum world do you see grown women wearing headbands like that (this was a while ago, it was not in fashion then) or grown women with thick, thick bangs (again, a while ago).

Yes, I am very aware the runway models sport these looks. But thats about it.

(Bracing for the tomatos)


Totally agree with this, but we don’t really have the option of just putting our hair into a messy bun when we need to be comfortable, so we wear falls. And bH we have created our own nucleus style within our community that we don’t feel self conscious when wearing a fall (I definitely do when out of the community though)
And the frum styles btw, are mostly representative of higher class fashion (generally) because again, we don’t just have the option of throwing on jeans and a tshirt, so at the risk of looking like a bag lady in a long skirt and sweatshirt, we get a little more dressed up every day... and that’s ok because we don’t have to answer to the outside world
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imasoftov




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 9:56 am
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
How do you know?

And how do we know if she really is?
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amother




Teal


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 9:57 am
Ruchel wrote:
None of my friends got diamonds or pearls in yichud room


It could be, but it’s the generally accepted custom in many communities. I was a little silly, my mil offered me a diamond necklace, but I figured I would always get a diamond necklace from my hubby, but never pearls again, so I asked for pearls... I never ever wear them, even though it is a beautiful double stranded pearl necklace...
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amother




Teal


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 10:04 am
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
https://images.app.goo.gl/SBRoyLK3nevNgtUC9


Umm... my pearls and the diamond necklace my parents bought for my sis in law were in the $1500-2000 range, not the $15,000 range!! That’s crazy...
And my sis who married into a family with less money got a necklace in the $600 range, so it doesn’t have to be crazy expensive
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 10:48 am
"I would always get a diamond necklace from my hubby, but never pearls again"
Why not ask him what you want
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