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Lonely on yom tov
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TwinsMommy




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 8:55 pm
Where do you live, what city? You can surely find hosts here on ima!

I've got special needs kids and this month am recovering from surgery and about to have another so though I've hosted families in the past I'm pretty limited these days to a single or a quiet couple. Smile But if you're near me I'm happy to make a shidduch! (I'm in Cleveland).

Good yuntiff!
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chestnut




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 9:00 pm
Are your kids complaining? There are no singles/divorcees you can invite, if no room for families? Do your kids' friends come in the afternoon to play/hang out?
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amother




Bisque


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 10:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Do your children complain about it?


They don’t complain that we don’t have guests. We make it nice so they usually enjoy. I set the table extra nice and always have different napkins placed inside the stemware. There’s homemade challah and lots of other fresh food that each person enjoys. Dessert is a lot of fun too. During the meal we talk about the parisha and take turns telling hashgacha pratis stories and stories about gedolim. Dh has a good voice and sings a lot...
Our meals are enjoyable and fulfilling so no one is complaining about the lack of guests.
I do see that my kids get jealous when neighbors talk about their cousins a lot. My kids are not close with their cousins and I think it bothers them.. perhaps your kids are just wishing they had more of a frum family to connect with?
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DVOM




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Oct 08 2019, 5:37 am
Where do you live, OP? We'd be happy to host you! My kids love having teenaged guests. The attention from 'big kids' feels so special. Your kids will be treated like visiting royalty Smile. If you live in Lakewood, please PM me!
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amother




Jade


Post  Tue, Oct 08 2019, 7:41 am
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
They don’t complain that we don’t have guests. We make it nice so they usually enjoy. I set the table extra nice and always have different napkins placed inside the stemware. There’s homemade challah and lots of other fresh food that each person enjoys. Dessert is a lot of fun too. During the meal we talk about the parisha and take turns telling hashgacha pratis stories and stories about gedolim. Dh has a good voice and sings a lot...
Our meals are enjoyable and fulfilling so no one is complaining about the lack of guests.
I do see that my kids get jealous when neighbors talk about their cousins a lot. My kids are not close with their cousins and I think it bothers them.. perhaps your kids are just wishing they had more of a frum family to connect with?


The guest issue is solvable. The frum family isn't. I have a small toxic family. I am only close to an OTD sibling and her family.

What you have to do is create your own family. By that, I mean get close to other families. Open your home. Organize a sukkah hop. Or just show up and invite people to yours.

We do a combo of hosting and being hosted during the day. Nights are for our family only unless we have sleepover guests.
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Oct 08 2019, 11:00 am
We've never invited and would probably refuse. We love being in just us for chag
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Oct 08 2019, 11:49 am
chestnut wrote:
Are your kids complaining? There are no singles/divorcees you can invite, if no room for families? Do your kids' friends come in the afternoon to play/hang out?

They have friends over always but on succos people are busy with family and big long meals so idk if they will come over. If they come it will be very late for a little bit
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amother




Wine


Post  Tue, Oct 08 2019, 11:50 am
I thought this was a thread about being single or divorced or widowed or st with no kids and no family nearby and sitting at home alone and lonely on yom tov.


You have a family with kids...that is not lonely !
Count your blessings.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Tue, Oct 08 2019, 12:29 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
They have friends over always but on succos people are busy with family and big long meals so idk if they will come over. If they come it will be very late for a little bit


Encourage everyone to go to shul. It really breaks up the day and you feel like you saw people outside of the house.
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amother




Ginger


Post  Tue, Oct 08 2019, 2:51 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
It’s a long story but no one invites us anymore and I don’t have anyone to invite. I’m so humiliated for my kids sake.


I understand you OP. We are also BT and I was lonely on yom tovim although I am blessed with a great husband and children.
As the years go by your kids will get married and you will have son in laws and daughter in laws and grandkids IYH and you will not be lonely.
hugs!
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