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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
Is this what it’s supposed to be like?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:07 pm
Hope everyone had a meaningful and uplifting Yom Kippur. BH I did, for the first part.

From about 5pm onwards I couldn’t get out of bed, and was in a lot of physical pain just lying still. BH everything else was taken care of - I had a babysitter.

I tried to prepare in advance, hydrated and took the pills the day before. I’m nursing my one year old and I tried to limit it and substitute with formula as much as possible but she still did nurse a few times. I think that had something to do with it. Also, after a number of HG pregnancies my body is not the same and I’m wondering if that was also a factor.

I didn’t do shiurim because I was not afraid of blacking out as long as I stayed in bed. But it really was a very, very painful few hours, just being so weak I could hardly move my arms. I was nauseous and very dizzy each time I stood up.

I couldn’t daven, could hardly sleep, and just said my own private tefillos and pretty much watched the clock... wondering how I would make it through...

I’m so grateful my family was taken care of and don’t know how I would have survived without the extra help. But I’m just wondering, when there are no health concerns apart from pain, is this level of pain too much to suffer or is it expected of me on Yom Kippur? I’m going to ask my rabbi but would like to know what other women think based on their own experiences.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:11 pm
After an HG pregnancy I also cannot handle fasting. I've ended up in the ER on IV after some fasts and now I have a heter to do shiurim. If my body get dehydrated I feel like I'm going to die.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:11 pm
Yk you have one mitzvah and that is to fast. I'm going into my ninth Tom iyh. From 5pm and on I was having contractions every 2 min apart lasting abt 45 sec to a min long. I wasn't worried cuz I knew it's from dehydration. Was extremely uncomfortable and couldn't find a comfortable position. Now I'm in bed feeling soooo much worse, weaker and dizzier than I did 3 hrs ago. I say you have one and only mitzvah, if your health is ok and not compromised go with it.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:12 pm
amother [ Magenta ] wrote:
After an HG pregnancy I also cannot handle fasting. I've ended up in the ER on IV after some fasts and now I have a heter to do shiurim. If my body get dehydrated I feel like I'm going to die.

This is a good example of health is compromised. HG is serious business.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:16 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hope everyone had a meaningful and uplifting Yom Kippur. BH I did, for the first part.

From about 5pm onwards I couldn’t get out of bed, and was in a lot of physical pain just lying still. BH everything else was taken care of - I had a babysitter.

I tried to prepare in advance, hydrated and took the pills the day before. I’m nursing my one year old and I tried to limit it and substitute with formula as much as possible but she still did nurse a few times. I think that had something to do with it. Also, after a number of HG pregnancies my body is not the same and I’m wondering if that was also a factor.

I didn’t do shiurim because I was not afraid of blacking out as long as I stayed in bed. But it really was a very, very painful few hours, just being so weak I could hardly move my arms. I was nauseous and very dizzy each time I stood up.

I couldn’t daven, could hardly sleep, and just said my own private tefillos and pretty much watched the clock... wondering how I would make it through...

I’m so grateful my family was taken care of and don’t know how I would have survived without the extra help. But I’m just wondering, when there are no health concerns apart from pain, is this level of pain too much to suffer or is it expected of me on Yom Kippur? I’m going to ask my rabbi but would like to know what other women think based on their own experiences.


I’m not sure where you get the idea that being nauseated, dizzy, too weak to move your arms, and at risk of blacking out isn’t a health risk.

I’m not sure where another poster got the idea that premature labor is not a health risk.

Talk to your doctors. Then talk to your rabbis.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:20 pm
I am nursing my one and a half year old who also eats tons of food Baruch Hashem. I have older kids too. For the last 4 hours of the fast I threw up once and was so weak and shaky. I had no one around to help with the kids this year and DH wasn't home at all. He slept somewhere else since we are not close to shul and he doesn't fast well. I davened from the couch. At neila time it was amazing to hear my kids saying baruch shem kvod outloud and daven with such kavanna all together. Then we said amen to each others tefillos outloud. Other than that spiritual high it is a little deflating to feel so unwell, the house is a mess, watching the clock. But I know fasting is the main mitzvah of the day and I felt awful that last bit but it wasn't a danger to my health so I stuck it out. Other years when I was pregnant I never even was able to get a heter to do shirium. That's frustrating.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:26 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Yk you have one mitzvah and that is to fast. I'm going into my ninth Tom iyh. From 5pm and on I was having contractions every 2 min apart lasting abt 45 sec to a min long. I wasn't worried cuz I knew it's from dehydration. Was extremely uncomfortable and couldn't find a comfortable position. Now I'm in bed feeling soooo much worse, weaker and dizzier than I did 3 hrs ago. I say you have one and only mitzvah, if your health is ok and not compromised go with it.

I think you should get yourself checked out without delay to make sure baby is doing well.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:27 pm
I bh have a little more then 2 weeks until my due date, and yes I was in bed for some of it since I felt so lightheaded.
And I do have other kids and bh we survived..
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:32 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Yk you have one mitzvah and that is to fast. I'm going into my ninth Tom iyh. From 5pm and on I was having contractions every 2 min apart lasting abt 45 sec to a min long. I wasn't worried cuz I knew it's from dehydration. Was extremely uncomfortable and couldn't find a comfortable position. Now I'm in bed feeling soooo much worse, weaker and dizzier than I did 3 hrs ago. I say you have one and only mitzvah, if your health is ok and not compromised go with it.


Um....go see your dr immediately
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:32 pm
Obviously, it depends on the person... but IMO, you should not be unable to move and I serious physical pain. Also, frequent contractions for 2 hours are not okay. You should start drinking immediatelt so that you don't c'vs have a premature delivery. I am 21 weeks pregnant, and got a heter to eat and drink in shiurim. B"H, because I ended up being very sick and unable to keep anything down since Sunday morning. And could never have made it through the fast. But my Rabbi told me to eat and drink more if I felt I couldn't handle just shiurim.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:41 pm
I'm in my first trimester.
I stayed in bed the entire day. I hired helpers to watch my three kids.
The last three hours I was on my own. I stayed on the couch and bribed them with treats. There was no bedtime.
Every time I stood up I felt like I would black out.
I managed to do a few shmoneh esrehs lying down. I slept on and off all day.
I broke my fast at the end and felt almost worse thanni did before. It took me till ten pm to be able to walk around again.
Stull feel nauseous but I'm ok.
I think the answer is yes, it's supposed to be like this. And I don't get it.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:43 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
Um....go see your dr immediately

My baby is moving around bh nicely. Contractions stopped shortly after I started eating and drinking. So what if I feel week and dizzy? It's very common for many ppl to feel worse after a fast than during. I have it when I'm nursing too. So what? What's the alarm?
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amother
Rose


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:45 pm
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
I bh have a little more then 2 weeks until my due date, and yes I was in bed for some of it since I felt so lightheaded.
And I do have other kids and bh we survived..

I was in bed/couch too most of the time. I have teenagers to help me.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:50 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
My baby is moving around bh nicely. Contractions stopped shortly after I started eating and drinking. So what if I feel week and dizzy? It's very common for many ppl to feel worse after a fast than during. I have it when I'm nursing too. So what? What's the alarm?

I know you mean well but having a premature baby is not a smart idea. I'm sure any rabbi wudve told you to break your fast. Would your contractions really 45 sec long every 2 minutes or are you exaggerating?
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Sara255




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 10:57 pm
No, it's not supposed to be like this at all. Rabbis would not allow this foolishness. There are many people who do shiurim etc and that is a MITZVAH. Please talk to doctor and rabbi.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 11:00 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
I know you mean well but having a premature baby is not a smart idea. I'm sure any rabbi wudve told you to break your fast. Would your contractions really 45 sec long every 2 minutes or are you exaggerating?


Is it really premature if she is going into her ninth tom?
I'm due Monday. I did IV at home. The morning was the worst, because I did not do IV until 7 am so it took a while to kick in
More than myself I was worried for the baby, but I bh feel movement so I am calm
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 11:05 pm
amother [ Sienna ] wrote:
Is it really premature if she is going into her ninth tom?
I'm due Monday. I did IV at home. The morning was the worst, because I did not do IV until 7 am so it took a while to kick in
More than myself I was worried for the baby, but I bh feel movement so I am calm


Before 37 weeks is considered premature. So it depends what "going into 9th month" means.
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 11:11 pm
My rabbi said that pregnant and nursing women should drink shiurim if feeling faint or weaker than you usually do when fasting, and lying down doesn’t help. That was the guideline, he didn’t say anything about being at the point of blacking out.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 11:28 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Yk you have one mitzvah and that is to fast. I'm going into my ninth Tom iyh. From 5pm and on I was having contractions every 2 min apart lasting abt 45 sec to a min long. I wasn't worried cuz I knew it's from dehydration. Was extremely uncomfortable and couldn't find a comfortable position. Now I'm in bed feeling soooo much worse, weaker and dizzier than I did 3 hrs ago. I say you have one and only mitzvah, if your health is ok and not compromised go with it.


This is insane! I did not fast (drank shuirim) and still feel I got my mitzvah because I did what hashem wanted from me.
I am pregnant and at risk for preterm labor, my doctors orders were not to fast and I asked a rav and asked if my Dr. was ok with an oz every 9 min. I was told to use common sense.
At one point I felt contractions and I drank more then the oz and feel I did the right thing.
You claim you started having contractions yet you chose to ignore that is actually dangerous and very irresponsible of you. Your mitzvah was to save your child, why do you feel you did the right thing? And to go and give irresponsible advice here to others is just insanity.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Oct 09 2019, 11:37 pm
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
This is insane! I did not fast (drank shuirim) and still feel I got my mitzvah because I did what hashem wanted from me.
I am pregnant and at risk for preterm labor, my doctors orders were not to fast and I asked a rav and asked if my Dr. was ok with an oz every 9 min. I was told to use common sense.
At one point I felt contractions and I drank more then the oz and feel I did the right thing.
You claim you started having contractions yet you chose to ignore that is actually dangerous and very irresponsible of you. Your mitzvah was to save your child, why do you feel you did the right thing? And to go and give irresponsible advice here to others is just insanity.


I think you did the right thing.

My SIL fasted Yom Kippur in her 6th month when she was at risk for preterm labor. She didn't listen to her doctor... and guess what? She ended up in the hospital in preterm labor. They stopped the labor B'H but kept her there on bedrest for 2 weeks, put her on steroids, etc.

She put her baby at risk by fasting. That's not a joke. To the amother above who said that your one job is to fast- go ask your Rav before you put your baby at risk. I get it that you're at the beginning of your ninth month or whatever, but it's no joke. And if you were having contractions 2-3 minutes apart, you should've been going straight to the hospital.
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