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Feeling guilty doing laundry Chol Hamoed

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 1:25 pm
So I know that I can do laundry for my little ones. But I’ve always learned and been told that it’s better to buy more than to do laundry for adults.

But. Here is the problem.

Money is tight.

If I had $250 for Yom Tov for me, I want to spend it on clothing, shoes, makeup. Things that will make me feel good and pretty. NOT on duplicates of bras, underwear, pajamas, robes, towels, linen, etc.

I HAVE enough pj’s and underwear for normal times, to last 4-5 days. I do laundry regularly and life is fine.

Also. I am super picky about my stuff being clean. I know that a lot of you wear bras for several days, but my underarms and bra do not smell great by the end of the day, and my bra goes into the hamper with my panties, every night, since I was a teen. B’koshi, I’d wear the same bra Friday night (that I put on fresh right before lighting candles) and Shabbos day. I would NEVER wear pj’s two consecutive nights.

Now I know that I can wear pj’s and bras for a few days, but that feels so horrid for me. And isn’t it a mitzvah to be happy? Why should I feel like my body is icky like I’m in aveilus when I’m supposed to be happy?

Or was I supposed to take that $250 and buy duplicate pj’s and bras for Sukkos instead of a nice dress/shoes that make me feel good???

So here I am doing laundry. And feeling so guilty.
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amother




Bronze
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 1:27 pm
I've always done laundry for myself on chol hamoed, I never felt guilty. I learnt that you're allowed to wash what you need for yom tov.
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allthingsblue




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 1:30 pm
Look into the halachos. I may have heard that undergarments (bras, underwear) are ok to wash.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 1:30 pm
For the pj's:

Can you shower before bed to avoid washing them every day?

Can you sleep in the nude for this week?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 1:34 pm
DrMom wrote:
For the pj's:

Can you shower before bed to avoid washing them every day?

Can you sleep in the nude for this week?


Love your thought process, BUT:

I ALWAYS shower before bed!!!! (I often wake up sweaty and would hate to wear those pj's again)

DH once told me that he read that rich people are more likely to sleep in the nude, so we tried it, and I HATED it! Put on pj's after a couple of hours of tossing and turning and constanly waking up. Does Hashem really want me to be extra tired during this hectic holiday????
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 1:38 pm
allthingsblue wrote:
Look into the halachos. I may have heard that undergarments (bras, underwear) are ok to wash.


Me too! I don't have enough bras to go a week and a half without washing. Bras are expensive and I won't wear them more than 2 days in a row MAX!
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sub




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 1:40 pm
No do not feel guilty.
This is why there are rabbanim. To ask shailos.
Plenty of times I thought something wasn’t allowed and when we asked were told yes you are.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 1:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
DH once told me that he read that rich people are more likely to sleep in the nude, so we tried it, and I HATED it!

Never heard that one! Are they supposedly rich *because* they sleep in the nude??
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 2:02 pm
DrMom wrote:
Never heard that one! Are they supposedly rich *because* they sleep in the nude??


No clue, but after trying it, I couldn't care less about the relationship LOL!
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PinkFridge




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 2:22 pm
sub wrote:
No do not feel guilty.
This is why there are rabbanim. To ask shailos.
Plenty of times I thought something wasn’t allowed and when we asked were told yes you are.


And if you are told you can wash laundry, don't think of it as bedieved.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 2:27 pm
What do you do other years? This must have come up.
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amother




Vermilion
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 2:50 pm
When we had a housekeeper in past years, she would do the laundry on her own schedule, and the Rav told us we could just let her, because it would be more work for us to sort out what was needed for Yom Tov itself.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 2:52 pm
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
What do you do other years? This must have come up.

I’ve asked my rabbi and been told no for me and all kids over 12/13.

Every year I do some of my own laundry and feel somewhat guilty. And wear the same pj’s for two nights here and there and feel gross. But I don’t have enough pj’s to wear them every 2 nights of Sukkos without laundry.
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amother




Plum
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 3:07 pm
Did you ask she shailah the same way you did here? With all the emotions involved? And did YOU ask it, vs your dh asking for you?
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 3:12 pm
Can you wear other clothes as pajamas? Workout clothes? DH's undershirts?
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 3:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So I know that I can do laundry for my little ones. But I’ve always learned and been told that it’s better to buy more than to do laundry for adults.

But. Here is the problem.

Money is tight.

If I had $250 for Yom Tov for me, I want to spend it on clothing, shoes, makeup. Things that will make me feel good and pretty. NOT on duplicates of bras, underwear, pajamas, robes, towels, linen, etc.

I HAVE enough pj’s and underwear for normal times, to last 4-5 days. I do laundry regularly and life is fine.

Also. I am super picky about my stuff being clean. I know that a lot of you wear bras for several days, but my underarms and bra do not smell great by the end of the day, and my bra goes into the hamper with my panties, every night, since I was a teen. B’koshi, I’d wear the same bra Friday night (that I put on fresh right before lighting candles) and Shabbos day. I would NEVER wear pj’s two consecutive nights.

Now I know that I can wear pj’s and bras for a few days, but that feels so horrid for me. And isn’t it a mitzvah to be happy? Why should I feel like my body is icky like I’m in aveilus when I’m supposed to be happy?

Or was I supposed to take that $250 and buy duplicate pj’s and bras for Sukkos instead of a nice dress/shoes that make me feel good???

So here I am doing laundry. And feeling so guilty.


You shouldn’t feel guilty. That’s the yetzer hard, because it’s trying to make u lose your simcha for Sukkos. You did nothing wrong. Fight that voice inside and decide you will not allow it to ruin your simcha, which is a siman Tov for simcha for the whole year.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 3:31 pm
I was told that when doing laundry for little kids, I can add my own stuff into the load
B"h, my daughter had an accident, so I have to do several loads Wink
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post  Wed, Oct 16 2019, 3:40 pm
The “better to buy more” philosophy could not have existed a few generations ago back in the poor shtetls. And anyway don’t people wash new things before wearing?

I do my best to avoid laundry, but if it needs doing then it needs doing.

I stayed with a relative that used the same 2 disgusting, filthy, dirty dish towels from the beginning of Sukkos all the way through simchas Torah because she was not going to do laundry no matter what and wouldn’t let me when I offered to do it since I’m more lenient. Same towel to dry dishes, wipe up spills, dry hands after everyone washed... they fell on the floor over and over. I’m sorry but this is a joyous holiday or a germ fest?
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