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IM THE WORST HOUSEKEEPER
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momofqts




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 7:04 am
This thread is oh so validating!
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Aylat




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 7:53 am
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
If youre the worst housekeeper then I’m second to the worst. But I’m the most chilled mom ever! So there!


This.

But I am trying to improve. The thing is it's really not my strength. I'm not organised by nature. My husband is but he's barely home because of his work hours. For the next couple of months he's going to be around lots more and we're working on it together and recruiting the kids to the cause too.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 8:04 am
Op I am the same way. I clean pretty slow and my house is a mess. My cleaning also just kind of quit. We went through stages of having one and stages of not. Dh works pretty long hours but bh does most of the cleaning. My house is kind of messy now though. I work part time or I guess almost full time (9-4) and come home and leave with the kids. My house will never be perfect at this point. We just do the best we can. I offer the kids a treat or something special to help a bit more and bh they are being amazing. (They are under 7)
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Aylat




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 8:09 am
I posted above before I'd read the whole thread - now that I read it I identify in so many ways with you OP. Laundry? I have Mt Everest in my laundry room. Floors? I do my best to sweep and wash the public rooms on Fridays. Bathrooms? The toilet and sink get cleaned once a week by my kids - if they're in a lazy mood it skips a week. Dishes? Don't even go there. I also have DH not available to contribute practically but who cares about it a lot and has meltdowns every so often when it gets to him. (He does try to be understanding.) I also work full time, which to be honest, improves my self-esteem because I'm much better at my job than at housework.

But I refuse to feel like a failure any more. I have very challenging kids - and do my best to parent them. I've been blessed with skills in that area probably more than many balabustes. And housework is not my area of strength. I should probably outsource it and get cleaning help but I'm too embarrassed because a little voice inside me is still telling me I should be able to do it all myself. One day I'll get sensible and get over it.

Also I've found that it goes in tekufot. There have been times I'm more on top of it for whatever reason and times the house is almost a health hazard. Right now, as I said, we're on the way up - you will get there too.
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amother




Slateblue


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 9:38 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My husband just let loose at me for my tornado of a house. That's why. And he's right.


He might be right that house looks like it was hit by a tornado.

He's not right to yell at you.

Did you yell at him for not finishing his education before getting married?
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amother




Amethyst


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 3:20 pm
OP, you only think you're the world's worst housekeeper. That's because you've never seen my house. I'd post pictures but I'm too afraid to!
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#BestBubby




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 3:45 pm
I never tried it but those Home Organizing Ladies are said to save a lot of time keeping house neat. It's a lot of containers and also a lot of throwing out stuff. But it makes cleaning up much faster.

Also PAY your kids to help out more. Probably cheaper than cleaning lady. Kids are capable of doing a lot of work.
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mha3484




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 3:48 pm
It also does not come easy to me. Someone here recommended a blog called a slob comes clean many many years ago and it helped me so much. She has lots of lists and systems and charts to help you organize your house hold tasks.
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amother




Jade


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 4:15 pm
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
OP, you only think you're the world's worst housekeeper. That's because you've never seen my house. I'd post pictures but I'm too afraid to!

Same unfortunately
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amother




Wine


Post  Fri, Oct 18 2019, 4:22 pm
Ha!
I'm the worst house keeper and my Mommy said so!
Thing is, I don't really care.
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Oct 19 2019, 2:27 pm
My husband just let loose at me for my tornado of a house. That's why. And he's right.

Is it not his house? So why is he not cleaning
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amother




Ginger


Post  Sat, Oct 19 2019, 5:46 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My husband just let loose at me for my tornado of a house. That's why. And he's right.

My husband never lets loose at me for the tornado. But I don't need him to, I hate myself for it worse than he can ever hate me for it (maybe).
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Sat, Oct 19 2019, 8:03 pm
I think I have add. I’m not a good housekeeper. Chores take me so long. Just know you’re not alone
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#BestBubby




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 20 2019, 2:38 pm
OP, there is no reason to feel like a failure.

We all have FAULTS and VIRTUES.

Nobody is perfect.

Would you condemn a friend for being a bad housekeeper?

The main thing is to treat PEOPLE nicely. There are perfect housekeepers who scream at husband/kids for messing up their museum house. That's worse.
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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Sun, Oct 20 2019, 4:47 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
If youre the worst housekeeper then I’m second to the worst. But I’m the most chilled mom ever! So there!


Omggg teach me how to be a chilled out mom! Ps I’m a first time mother and I want to just be chilled
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amother




OP


Post  Wed, Oct 23 2019, 2:21 pm
It's been a long, hard week.
This time, things were said that I (may have) misconstrued and really took a toll on me in that I just didn't know how to respond.
I didn't want to post until we had talked it through, which we did, yesterday.
Thank you all for your responses!
I used to have really low self esteem and I actually think I'm in a pretty good place now. I kept repeating to myself all week that I got this. Even if I can't get my house together. I am being kind to myself.
Ill try to respond to the posts and I may end up repeating myself..

*We did agree to more household help than 2 hours a week
*This is something that really makes him crazy - and he lost it. He just wishes I would clean up after myself. Which I have a really hard time doing & I also feel in reality it's not just that because when I do out away my this ga he wants the laundry done, when I do the laundry he wants them folded etc etc
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amother




OP


Post  Wed, Oct 23 2019, 2:22 pm
Seashell wrote:
You are a mother of kids.
You are working full time.

Those 2 alone are full time jobs, so u are working 2 full time jobs.

YOU ARE A SUPERWOMEN!!!
Say that 101 times until u believe it. Then tell it to your husband until he believes it. Tell him that speaking to many other women they think you’re a hero for balancing it all.

Make a list of everything you are doing well. Hang it on your fridge. Read it daily. Title it SUPERWOMAN:
List:
Do your kids feel loved? (This is most important & don’t under estimate it.) Check
Do they have food to eat? (Simple or bought 100% counts, still takes cooking /buying!) Check
Do they have clean clothes? (No need for folded or ironed, cleaning alone takes time and effort .) Check
Do they go to school/ babysitter? (That means you’re driving /arranging carpools, not to mention paying tuition from your work!) Check
Are u working so your family can have food & clothes & a home? Check check check
Physically & emotionally sacrificing for your husbands schooling and career? Check
Going to Mikva, being a wife... Check check
Plus... plus....

....Again you are a SUPERWOMAN, for real!!!!!!

(I work part time. I have hours of cleaning help. My DH helps a ton. And I STILL am not managing. I feel like a failure! A failure you are definitely not!!)


THANK YOU for this!
I am going to do this and put it in my fridge!
I am typing it up now!
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amother




OP


Post  Wed, Oct 23 2019, 2:25 pm
zaq wrote:
Quick cheat for messy houses:

1. Buy a big stack of laundry baskets. Big ones. Preferably identical to minimize visual “noise.”

2. Go around the house room by room. Anything that’s not where it belongs goes into the basket. Some rooms may need several baskets, which is why they should be identical. It looks neater.

3. Park the filled basket(s) in an inconspicuous place like a corner of the room, behind or under a piece of furniture, or best of all, in a closet.

There you go. Instant cleanup.

When you get a chance, take a basket and deliver its contents to the appropriate places. Repeat with the next basket till everything is either put away, thrown away, or outgrown and given away.

Thanks!
I live in an apartment not a house - so it's not that big that I have to go around room to room - and I also don't have much furniture.. which is why it easily gets cluttered.
The laundry is usually in laundry baskets or on the hanging rack because I hang up most items.
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amother




OP


Post  Wed, Oct 23 2019, 2:33 pm
familyfirst wrote:
A tip for laundry

Don’t fold everything. get baskets

Girls Sox in one basket
Girls underwear in another
Girls pajamas in another

Same for boys

Hang shirt, dresses
Hang or fold pants
Basket for towels

When a load comes out of the dryer immediately separate them into baskets. If you have time you can tackle one basket at a time and fold

Never was a fan of clean clothes dumped onto slate bed etc
Hard to find things
If sorted in baskets so much easier to find what is needed

I have baskets but I can't have that many baskets. My home isn't big enough!
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amother




OP


Post  Wed, Oct 23 2019, 2:37 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
Thisss.

My husband is a student. I don’t work full time and I still pay for 2 hours of help bi weekly. (We have one child Bh. ) it’s not negotiable. Especially now when he’s a student and can’t help...

I calculate it as coming out of my paycheck but in actuality we borrow for living expenses and could probably cut that out. It’s really not worth it to live in a constant state of chasing my tail.

.you get me!!

So we aren't borrowing for living expenses. Which may be why the plan was originally (and unrealistically) to be so frugal
My paycheck is for our bills
But honestly at this point I totally had enough and will get enough help as I need.
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