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What birth control for Dd before the wedding
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amother




Babypink


Post  Wed, Oct 30 2019, 8:46 am
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
I was happy to have tried! I begged my parents to at least let me try, not to just decide for me that I was going to have a chuppas niddah, and I have to be okay with it just because they are.

I also did not take BC for the full time of my being engaged, but as I wrote, just a minimum amount, which lessend the chance of spotting.

Oh - and I had some spotting the week of my wedding, and Rav (Rabbi Greenfield, who is a major posek in these types of issues) paskened it was fine. So if that happens - make sure to ask a knowledgeable, expert Posek. There are major kulos for Kallahs.

I'm glad I did what I did, and B"H it worked out.


I had the same experience.
no idea why mother went nuts from the idea.
Seriously, give me the info, let me see a doctor and I'll make a desicion
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Wed, Oct 30 2019, 9:50 am
amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:
It may depend on the cycle- the timing could have been wrong that a simple stretching wouldn't have worked because you can't do it for too long.


My doctor told me you can start a week before your period and take it for up to a month.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Wed, Oct 30 2019, 9:52 am
WhatFor wrote:
Just reading through this and glad to see I'm not the only one....

OP, if your daughter is old enough to get married and have zex, then she's old enough to learn what a gyno is. She should speak to the gyno herself and they can work out what's best for her.


Also, whom do you think young kallahs rely on to help them with this kind of information?
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amother




Wheat


Post  Wed, Oct 30 2019, 5:06 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
I'm glad that worked for you, but please don't push this view onto anyone else (including your own daughter!) if they feel otherwise.

My parents actually felt the same way, and I had to beg and plead and cry for them to take me to a doctor in order to avoid having a Chuppas niddah. Glad they were okay and could make whatever choice they wanted for themselves, but for me, I did not want that, and as I was old enough to get married, I was also old enough to choose to take pills for a few days in order to avoid a chuppas niddah.

Incidentally, and this was over 20 years ago, I went to Dr. Wurtzburger, as I'm a Monsey gal. I can't say it was special or worth a trip from anywhere...it was a regular doctor-type visit, and I remember that I had to pay out-of-pocket. He gave me pills to move my period UP and they worked only the last minute, not the day he said it would come. I ended up having my wedding day as my 7th day, and I had to go to the mikvah that morning, which was super-stressful - but IMVHO, better than not being able to go at all. Our Rav said our chuppah should be at shkia and can be regular, with yichud after.


Same here. My mom was anti birth control for some reason and seemed to think chuppas niddah was no big deal.
Uh, sorry but 2 months of no touching during engagement was more than enough for me. No way was I risking it.
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Wed, Oct 30 2019, 10:43 pm
I did not take any pill as a kallah, and I was tahor at my wedding. an experienced kallah teacher gave me a "safe range" to set the wedding date, and I listened to her. Best decision ever. No crazy hormonal swings, no weight gain, no spotting, nothing. Just my regular predictable period. I will say that I kept careful records of when I got my periods before getting engaged. I would highly recommend this. obviously cant work for totally irregular people. but I do know people who had a lot of trouble caused by the BC. so not worth it in my opinion.
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amother




Mustard


Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 6:20 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
I did not take any pill as a kallah, and I was tahor at my wedding. an experienced kallah teacher gave me a "safe range" to set the wedding date, and I listened to her. Best decision ever. No crazy hormonal swings, no weight gain, no spotting, nothing. Just my regular predictable period. I will say that I kept careful records of when I got my periods before getting engaged. I would highly recommend this. obviously cant work for totally irregular people. but I do know people who had a lot of trouble caused by the BC. so not worth it in my opinion.


I’m glad that worked well for you but even the most regular people get messed up due to stress/excitement before the wedding. That’s part of the reason from the Gemara (I believe that’s the source)that the kallah shouldn’t see the chosson close to the time of the wedding so she doesn’t bleed from excitement. In any case I feel like there are so many factors that go into planning a wedding date that it would be very inconvenient to have to throw in when you’ll be tahor into the mixture. Also I feel like it would be so awkward if the chossons side proposes a date that wouldn’t work for the kallahs cycle and then you have to vaguely say that won’t work for us...it could lead to very awkward conversations esp if there’s a really good reason for the date proposed. Why compromise on the kallah’s privacy like that?
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amother




Ivory


Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 6:44 am
Ever since I got my period I have had a kevua. Literally since the first time. My period has never come a day late. Every 29 days, I get a period. I have never had a late period except for pregnancy and since I do not nurse, my period gets right back into the swing of things. However, my period came one week later before I got married and I had a chippas nidda. It was not a big deal for me but I also did not have a mitzvah tantz so that was a big deal for everyone. It used to be normal. The Satmar Rebbe said his two weddings were chippas niddas but today it is not necessary...
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watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 8:14 am
OP, you have asked three different questions on this thread all based on things you've heard. Many people have given you the very good advise to take your daughter to the obgyn or even to her regular dr. I am truly boggled with why you are not doing this but coming here to ask random people questions.

Your daughter is getting married, she needs to be a big girl and discuss with the dr by herself. I'm sure she knows what a chuppas niddah is and she can decide on her own if she would like to take pills to try to avoid it. If she would like to, she has to go to a dr to get a prescription. She can go to an obgyn or to her regular dr.

Mazel tov!
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 11:29 am
That is why the kallah's side typically proposes the wedding dates that work for THEM, and the chassan's side picks from those or confirms. The bride side is often making the wedding anyway. It isnt awkward at all. With any common sense there is no awkwardness.
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