Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Do all schools have many mean girls
1  2  3  4  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 7:05 pm
We are moving and therefore about to switch schools. In my girls school now there are so many mean girls that just hurt other girls all the time. They exclude them from games, make fun of kids, damage their supplies etc... This is done to many kids in the class, half the stories happened to my kids and half my kids witnessed. I'm trying to figure out if this is just how today's generation is or if they happen to be in a school that just doesn't care. I spoke to the school many times about it they claim it's not happening, even when I had proof. I also asked them why bein adam l'chaveiro and general middos lessons seems to be missing from the curriculum and they acted like I was crazy. So when looking at other schools should I try to find schools that don't have this issue or is it everywhere? For reference my kids are in preschool and elementary school.
Back to top

amother
White


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 7:12 pm
Sorry to say this but...
How nasty are so many of the women on this site? Nice girls don't magically turn into mean women.
Back to top

thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 7:14 pm
I’m afraid it’s generational. I don’t have my daughter in school. But I never had mean girls in school when I was growing up. My sister’s kids have terrible mean girls and bullying incidents that sometimes get videoed by a girl’s cell phone so I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. A bit horrifying.
Back to top

amother
Coffee


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:24 pm
Bh, as far I know it does not happen in my girl's school!
The school does stress good middos!
Back to top

bobeli




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:32 pm
Sorry to say this but location has something to do too
Back to top

amother
Orange


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:33 pm
bobeli wrote:
Sorry to say this but location has something to do too

Second this...
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:34 pm
bobeli wrote:
Sorry to say this but location has something to do too


I used to think that but I live very in town, and a friend who lives in a tiny out of town community is having the same issue, so now I'm not so sure. Although if you know of locations that overall do not deal with this issue I would love to hear about them.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:36 pm
Can people name locations (cities or schools) that don't deal with this?
Back to top

amother
Blue


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:36 pm
I was very badly bullied in 8th grade. All of my best friends since kindergarten turned on me. I missed a month of school because of it. I was bullied so much and so bad to the point that I developed trust issues, and it ruined my high school years because I couldn't make friends.
It's 10 years later, and I still choke up when I talk about it.
Yes, there are very many mean girls and there always will be. Wherever you live.
Back to top

amother
Lime


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 9:40 pm
I am afraid for my future daughters. They’re gonna be children of geirim and I’m afraid they will be bullied for that and for how they look. I guess I’m gonna have to hide from our children that mommy and tatty chose yiddishkeit.
Regarding appearance I’m short and hubby is tall, and I am much darker that I pass for Sephardi (I’m Mexican) my husband is Hungarian, and our son is a mixed beautiful skin color)
Are schools really this horrible???
Back to top

amother
Cyan


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 9:45 pm
My girls are in/went to school in Passaic (YKP) and I don’t remember there being many incidences of mean girls (which doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen and I just happened to never hear about it). They also (and specifically) say that the girls in camp are very nice.
Back to top

sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 9:47 pm
Yes, unfortunately there are mean girls everywhere.
Back to top

southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 9:49 pm
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
I am afraid for my future daughters. They’re gonna be children of geirim and I’m afraid they will be bullied for that and for how they look. I guess I’m gonna have to hide from our children that mommy and tatty chose yiddishkeit.
Regarding appearance I’m short and hubby is tall, and I am much darker that I pass for Sephardi (I’m Mexican) my husband is Hungarian, and our son is a mixed beautiful skin color)
Are schools really this horrible???


There are schools that prioritize acceptance and inclusion. Brooklyn Heights Jewish Academy has students of various racial backgrounds and the students would never be allowed to snub geirum.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 10:07 pm
This is depressing. So what are we supposed to do to protect our kids and to make sure these bad influences don't rub off on them? I model and teach my kids how to always be nice, include and care about other people. But what is it going to help if they are in an environment where too many don't behave this way.
Back to top

amother
Ecru


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 10:11 pm
My daughter went to a smallish school in Brooklyn and always denied that any bullying went on in her school. Now she’s in a Brooklyn H.S., and I don’t know of any mean girls there, either. While it is possible to run into a mean person anywhere, I don’t think bullying is endemic to all schools.
Back to top

amother
Cerise


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 10:12 pm
It's everywhere unfortunately. I also didn't grow up with this but I currently live in an OOT community that's supposed to be very nice and a very sweet couple's very not sweet daughter was not nice to my dear daughter. We switched her school but we have friends who switched the other way also because of social dynamics. there's no one place that is ideal, you have to look grade by grade.

your kids learn from you. I was just complimented my my dd this weekend, how thoughtful she is. She learned from my dh to think of others.
Back to top

amother
Seashell


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 10:17 pm
It's everywhere and always existed throughout history. Those saying it doesn't happen by them were probably just not a victim or bystander. I do think it's gotten worse lately because of technology and the ability to cyber bully.
Back to top

amother
Cerise


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 10:37 pm
I think some kids are naturally not nice and need to be taught out of it. it depends if you have those kids in your class.
Back to top

nylon




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 10:43 pm
Mean girls were very much a thing in my high school and I am in my 40s. It is a bit easier to be a bully today with all the texting and so on, I think.

Some schools do a better job with this issue than others. I don't think there is any easy way to predict it by type. A friend switched her daughter's school because of this issue. The schools are similar in terms of parent body and hashkafa but the second school has a much better handle on class dynamics. You have to visit the school, talk to parents to find out how it does.

Also: If your daughter isn't involved as either bully or victim she may be unaware of a problem. Mean behavior isn't always displayed to the entire class.
Back to top

amother
Purple


 

Post Mon, Oct 28 2019, 11:01 pm
Deleted--double post.
Back to top
Page 1 of 4 1  2  3  4  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Online links for Girls Yom Tov dresses
by amother
1 Today at 12:55 pm View last post
Do 6th grade girls wear nude stockings for this spring?
by amother
12 Today at 11:56 am View last post
Daughter was waitlisted at NJ high schools, what to do?
by amother
17 Today at 10:01 am View last post
Boro park - girls shabbos robes
by amother
10 Yesterday at 10:24 am View last post
Shabbos tights girls
by amother
1 Yesterday at 9:29 am View last post