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Do all schools have many mean girls
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amother




Ruby


Post  Tue, Oct 29 2019, 9:06 pm
Frantic Frummie I feel so terrible that your daughter went through that no kid should.
But seriously how can you write thatgiven all the generosity on this forum that is coming from people with more money.it makes me so upset when people with money are blamed for everything.but when people need money everyone knows where to go !!
Saying something like is very hurtful it might have been true in your case but making a general statement like that is just wrong!
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1ofbillions




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Oct 29 2019, 9:19 pm
I’m surprise to be the first former bully posting on this thread.

Growing up, I witnessed my father abusing my mother in every way you could think of. In my mind, you either are terrorized or you terrorize others. My behavior was a natural outgrowth of that mindset.

I was so disassociated for much of my middle school experience, I would say and do things that literally ruined girls’ childhoods, and then deny it point blank when my teachers would call me out. Because I genuinely didn’t remember (still don’t) walking over to a group of girls and telling them that they’re all cool except for one of them. I don’t remember pointing and laughing at a fifth grader for unsuccessfully trying to hide her pad as she walked to the bathroom. I don’t remember telling everyone that a specific girl is ugly and fat and should be ignored. But those are the words my father always called my mother, and the girl didn’t have friends for most of her elementary school experience. And other girls who witnessed me doing all of the above told their parents and our teachers, and once I grew up a bit, they told me too.

Picturing someone doing the things I did to my children makes me wish I’d never been born. I hate it that I was the catalyst for so much agony, much of which likely followed victims into their adulthood. I’m sorry. I really am. And I’ve worked hard to curb my abusive tendencies. I’m not always successful - I sometimes even post rude things on this site when I’m in pain. I’m a work in progress.

Please don’t demonize all bullies. Think about where they learned that the only way to survive is to hurt others.
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amother




Azure


Post  Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:21 pm
I'm so sorry for the pain of your childhood and I hear the remorse for the things you did.

But some bullies aren't like that. They aren't being raised in trauma. They are just mean because they can. Because they are charismatic, have discovered they can wield social power, and are good at manipulating others.

My next door neighbor's daughter is a beloved youngest child who is petted, dressed like a model, and is bright and successful. Her well-to-do parents are "pillars of chesed" in the community and they have many family and friends. She is also nasty and cruel to my daughter and the way she acts makes me think she's actually a reincarnation of a terrorist.
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amother




Denim


Post  Tue, Oct 29 2019, 11:27 pm
I am an adult and I am still getting bullied. Every. Single. Shabbos. And I am powerless to stop it. Every. Single. Shabbos. There are about a dozen walking Loshon Hora Factories (a.k.a. families) in my neighborhood. They see me. The parents bend down to whisper in their children's ears. The children stare at me as they pass by. Every. Single. Shabbos. I know I ought to thank them for giving me the Zechuyot of the entire family. I am just ungrateful. What more can I say?
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amother




Natural


Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 12:26 am
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
I am afraid for my future daughters. They’re gonna be children of geirim and I’m afraid they will be bullied for that and for how they look. I guess I’m gonna have to hide from our children that mommy and tatty chose yiddishkeit.
Regarding appearance I’m short and hubby is tall, and I am much darker that I pass for Sephardi (I’m Mexican) my husband is Hungarian, and our son is a mixed beautiful skin color)
Are schools really this horrible???


If this makes you feel any better, I attended an ultra-orthodox school and was never bullied for that reason.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 1:52 am
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
I went to a small school (not in the USA) and while I suffered by not fitting in socially and having no very close friends, most of the girls were very nice. From about 1st until 6th or 7th grade there was a queen bee type who went around creating cliques and excluding other girls and being generally mean. (me, and some others) She was a very bright girl so in 7th grade or so the school admin saw what was happening and switched her to the higher grade. This grade didn't let her bully her and she made one good friend and all was good.

After that I can honestly say there were no mean girls. A couple of girls who were not so nice, but not to the extent of bullying.

I am still in touch with my classmates and we try to meet up occasionally even though we live scattered across the globe.



Hi Classmate Very Happy
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amother




Bronze


Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 10:39 am
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
I went to a small school (not in the USA) and while I suffered by not fitting in socially and having no very close friends, most of the girls were very nice. From about 1st until 6th or 7th grade there was a queen bee type who went around creating cliques and excluding other girls and being generally mean. (me, and some others) She was a very bright girl so in 7th grade or so the school admin saw what was happening and switched her to the higher grade. This grade didn't let her bully her and she made one good friend and all was good.

After that I can honestly say there were no mean girls. A couple of girls who were not so nice, but not to the extent of bullying.

I am still in touch with my classmates and we try to meet up occasionally even though we live scattered across the globe.



Hi Classmate Very Happy

Hmmm I guess this could have happened elsewhere...how do you know we were in the same school?
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 11:32 am
Bullying always existed but there is something off nowadays. A lot of kids are detached and hormonally and mentally imbalanced. Many kids have learning issues and adhd. A lot of kids are lacking higher thinking skills, and moral values which are innate. Impulsivity and addiction are rampant. More so than in the past. Between the screens the wifi and everything that goes into their bodies-kids are having a hard time thriving. Yes, chinuch has a major role, but they need something to work with in terms of being a vessel to receive it.
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