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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Letting them go to bed hungry
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 6:15 am
5:30 is not too ealry for dinner. My kids can eat a substantial dinner and whine that they're staaaaarrving at bedtime. Kids just do it because they don't wanna go to bed. Before getting ready for bed they can take a small healthy snack like apple sauce, fruit or veggies. I would never serve dinner twice.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 7:08 am
My kids have same schedule as yours op. Had the same issue with them "deciding they are hungry" right when I tucked them in.
Started a new routine every night before bath time I'll prepare some cut up fruit or crackers. Told them now is the time to snack, after bath is time to sleep.
It worked!
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 7:34 am
I have a similar issue in my house, but no matter what I make, they are super picky don't even like variety and if I make one thing to accommodate my pickiest, then the other 2 complain (even if its something that they do like). A lot of time my 4 y/o will eat and STILL be hungry 2hrs later.

One thing I remember from my childhood was my mother used to offer me milk and cookies before bed--a bedtime snack. Even now my husband and I will enjoy a small something before bed. I don't think its so crazy to think that kids need one more thing before going to bed, the trick is timing it so that they get to bed on time and aren't dilly dallying.

circadian rhythms are a tricky thing to coordinate when we live in a "9-5" world.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 8:01 am
Didn't read replies, just OP. It sounds from OP like dinner is not very structured. Kids come and eat if they want, and probably come and go. If they're bouncing up from the table right away that's probably why they are hungry again after an hour or two.

Depending on your family setup (different ages and schedules) it might be hard to figure out a stronger routine, but I'll share what works for me as an example. When it's suppertime, everyone comes to the table. We linger over the table at least a little beyond the eating, trying some shmoozing. The policy is that if you leave the table, that means you're satisfied and done eating for the night. I'm not harsh about this rule, it's more reminders and trying pre-emptively to not have kids leave the table before they're really satisfied. I also serve supper pretty close to bedtime - not sure how healthy that is but it just kind of works for me and definitely makes it less likely that people will be hungry later. We have healthy snacks around for people who get munchy before supper. Though I could see the reverse working well too. I think the most important part is that supper is not optional. I don't force-feed anyone but you DO come to the table and sit there, if you're hungry then you at least try the food and if you don't like it you make a sandwich or something, and you don't pop off to play thinking that you can deal with hunger later.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 8:07 am
I know for myself that when I don't eat enough during the day I get very hungry in the evening even after a full supper. Are you kids eating well all day? A full supper probably won't be enough if they didn't eat we'll all day long. Also, eating carbs will not keep anyone full for long. They really need fats and proteins.

I officially offer each child cut up fruits or vegetables that they can choose after bath time. It take me maybe five minutes to prepare it, and they all go to bed feeling ok.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 8:11 am
Skimmed a little more and saw the piece about a kid having a challah roll for both supper and post-supper. I know there are some kids who are extremely picky or extremely sensory but those are a minority. If that's not the case for your kid then they need to eat a wider variety of foods to stay satisfied. Fluffy white rolls don't do much. I know kids aren't great fans of whole grain but I try to find whole grains they can handle because they are so much more satisfying. Ditto for protein. If my kid has had a couple of pieces of toast and is asking for more, I tell them to choose a protein first and let me know if they're still hungry for more bread after (they usually aren't but if they say they are then I'll give it to them once they've had something else.) Adding a moderate amount of healthy fats also helps one feel satiated for longer, so even cream cheese (I don't call that a protein, sorry) is an improvement over a plain roll in the satisfaction department, even if low on nourishment.

Zero judgment on anyone whose kids are eating plain challah rolls for supper because we've all had those days. It just shouldn't be a regular thing. I've definitely had days when I wasn't feeling well and mumbled to my kids to just serve themselves cheerios. But I'm talking about a functional routine.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 9:17 am
5h30? they're barely home. I could never handle this...
But I don't send to bed as punishment, though I am not a caterer they can make themselves something
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 9:40 am
seeker wrote:


Zero judgment on anyone whose kids are eating plain challah rolls for supper because we've all had those days. It just shouldn't be a regular thing. I've definitely had days when I wasn't feeling well and mumbled to my kids to just serve themselves cheerios. But I'm talking about a functional routine.


I have kids like this, if they don't like what's for supper thats what they'll eat. Some of them are very simplistic--plain noodles, plain rice, plain bagel etc. They do eat fruits and vegetables and not a lot of nosh, its a personality/sensory thing.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 9:56 am
I don't understand how this is even an issue. Many people have snacks or get hungry even if they have eaten dinner.

While I don't think it is necessary to set out and cook another traditional type of dinner for a child, I also don't understand why one would send them to bed hungry. There are all kinds of nutritional easy to pull together foods that a child or adult can eat without causing OP to have to dirty up the kitchen and exert a lot of effort.

There is nothing wrong with a sandwich - PB&J or cheese or even cold cuts if you have those around. Hummus/crackers - cheese - pretzels and peanut butter - fruit and cheese. There is nothing wrong with cereal and milk either. The list is endless.

If a child is capable of putting something in the microwave, there are even more possibilities like soup and sandwich.

I am not trying to making suggestions of what you should serve but only pointing out that you can feed a child or anyone with a nutritious filling snack without it being much bother. Putting a child to bed hungry seems Dickensian to me.

Of course there seems to be an undercurrent of control issues which are bothering OP in terms of exasperation with the child not eating dinner when the dinner is put on the table. I think most kids are best not forced in terms of food because I think it does more harm than good and can form the basis of real eating disorders or issues later on.
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camp123




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 11:13 am
Often the kids might not be hungry they may just not want to go to bed. Also, if they get in the habit of eating just before bed their bodies will continue to send out hunger signals at that time.
I think you need to make sure your kids are hungry for supper when it's supper time. I don't let my kids have any snacks an hour before supper.
I think that there are some foods that kids can't stand and I wouldn't serve those, but there are other foods that are tolerable to them but they don't particularly like. I don't offer alternatives for them. I encourage them to eat it. Tell them it's good to eat somethings even if we don't like it so much, because it's healthy etc... I don't force, but usually if they are hungry they'll eat it.
If I see they take can't stand it ill make them s sandwich.
In general no eating before bed. If a kid doesn't fall asleep for half hour then I would ask if they are hungry and I'd give them something.
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 12:07 pm
630 is way too late for dinner for small children. 5 - 530 is reasonable as long as the kids are served a snack when they come home from school. Op, serve dinner and remind kids that if they are hungry later there is only Cheerios and milk or something very plain so they will only use that option if they are genuinely hungry. Also encourage healthy eating as a challah roll isn’t dinner. Good luck!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 12:50 pm
Kids come home 4, 5... You simply can't finish their day so soon, they have a right to some unwinding and family time or personal time. Also I'm not starting to cook in the afternoon
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amother
Puce


 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 12:53 pm
Ruchel wrote:
Kids come home 4, 5... You simply can't finish their day so soon, they have a right to some unwinding and family time or personal time. Also I'm not starting to cook in the afternoon


Same. We do a snack either on the way home or immediately upon arrival home. 6:30 dinner. 8pm bedtime. The time in between is for playing and bath (when there is one) No hunger at bedtime here
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 12:58 pm
If your kids are always hungry before bedtime, provide a nutritious snack for them every night before bed. A piece of fruit. Cheese. Carrots and hummus. Cereal with milk. Yogurt. Announce it. "If anyone is hungry, snacks are available now." Then bedtime is bedtime; snacks are done.

You should always try to ensure that dinner includes one thing that each person will eat, even if not every person will eat everything.
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 3:00 pm
Supper is also at 5-5:30 here and I have a kid who chooses cereal and milk or just a roll for supper when he doesn't like what I'm serving. If he takes a roll, I encourage him to have a protein with it - peanut butter or grilled cheese.
The little ones go to bed at 6:30-7 and are not usually hungry but if they are, they can have a fruit or vegetable.
The big ones know that if they get into pajamas on time, they can choose a fruit or vegetable and read for 15 minutes before going to sleep.
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amother
White


 

Post Tue, Oct 29 2019, 3:15 pm
amother [ Puce ] wrote:
Is dinner too early? Or are they not eating enough? This is a strange dynamic. My kid knows there’s one dinner and she can take it or leave it but breakfast is 12 hours later. Consistency is key and we’ve always done it this way.

She has never gone to bed hungry


Just curious, what time do you serve dinner to be able to have breakfast 12 hours later?
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