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How do you decide where to give your maaser
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 8:37 am
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
They still come knocking except they skip my house. They are very organized with a driver telling what are the good houses to go to. I know not all the money goes to who they are collecting for. I prefer to give my money directly to those in need and skip the middle man.


We give a dollar to collectors who come to the door but my street doesn't get many collectors. I see them going to the wealthy neighborhoods where people can really help them. It really doesn't pay for them to go where they won't get much and most of the time they are raising money for a real cause, such as marrying off a child.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 9:29 am
I always find it weird when someone claims that so and so must have lots of money since he donated $1000 towards charity- when really $1000 is maaser of $10,000 which is not a lot of money to earn (obviously in a week yes, but in a couple months not at all).[/quote]

I also find that interesting. B"H my husband makes a professional salary. Not a "wealthy" salary but a liveable one. We get such surprised reactions when we give our maaser. One rosh kollel literally asked my dh if "he was sure" when he saw the check but then realized that my dh wouldn't give him a check for an amount her wasn't sure about! If you calculated the amount in terms of maaser, we need to give at least 8 checks that size to fullfil our requiurement!

to answer op's original question, it has changed over the years. we used to give to the community kollel but haven't recently. We used to give to the local tzedakah fund in town but then had some monetary dealings with the people running it and felt that we didn't trust them so we stopped. Recently we gave a different non shul rabbi in the community a significant amount to give to people he knew who could use it.

We've given to the local eiruv, mikvah...

I believe I've given smaller amount to yad eliezer in israel.

Ideally it's better to give less to more places but my dh is picky about where he'll give so we usually end up giving more to less places.

In terms of keeping track of donations with the new tax laws it might not be worth it with the increase in the standard deduction.

we are always looking for new organizations that people recommend to give to.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 10:03 am
We keep track of it very carefully and give out mostly to organizations and mosdos, also to ppl. who come to the door. We will give more to organizations that have helped us or we have an affiliation to, and we'll use our discretion in giving to random tzedaka letters that come in the mail.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 10:10 am
amother [ Babypink ] wrote:
This post really bothers me. I used to live in a neighborhood where I got several knocks a day. Since I moved, for some reason the collectors don't come here. I miss it. I miss the opportunity to have several zechusim a day come straight to my door. Even if it was sometimes hard for me, the fact that it was hard just adds more zechusim to the mitzvah. I really feel that I lost out.


She's entitled to her own way of doing things.
Where I live, I dislike opening the door for meshulachim because they are never happy with what I give. I give a few dollars if I have on hand- I don't give more, because we give most of our maaser/tzedokah to local organizations etc. I wish I could afford to give $100 to each collector but I can't.
Some meshulachim keep asking me for more, or pull out their credit card machine, and make me feel very bad for only being able to give a few dollars. Now I hesitantly answer the door, and whenever a meshulach leaves gratefully, I sigh with relief.
A few pushy meshulachim have given me a negative feeling about the whole thing.
I still answer the door when it's safe to do so (daylight, or when dh is home), but that's how I feel.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 10:23 am
allthingsblue wrote:
She's entitled to her own way of doing things.
Where I live, I dislike opening the door for meshulachim because they are never happy with what I give. I give a few dollars if I have on hand- I don't give more, because we give most of our maaser/tzedokah to local organizations etc. I wish I could afford to give $100 to each collector but I can't.
Some meshulachim keep asking me for more, or pull out their credit card machine, and make me feel very bad for only being able to give a few dollars. Now I hesitantly answer the door, and whenever a meshulach leaves gratefully, I sigh with relief.
A few pushy meshulachim have given me a negative feeling about the whole thing.
I still answer the door when it's safe to do so (daylight, or when dh is home), but that's how I feel.


The bad actors have made a lot of people decide not to answer the door. They are their own worst enemies; maybe. They are better off focusing on the people who can give adequately and ignoring the rest. If they are looking for large sums from every house, they should stick to wealthy neighborhoods. I can't picture the people on my street giving large sums to everyone who rings the doorbell.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 10:28 am
it's not just the bad actors. it's also the fact that it seems to be common knowledge that the drivers take a large cut... and that not everyone agrees with the lifestyle. If you are coming to ask to raise money for your daughter to be able to buy an apartment, many people aren't going to want to give.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 10:45 am
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
it's not just the bad actors. it's also the fact that it seems to be common knowledge that the drivers take a large cut... and that not everyone agrees with the lifestyle. If you are coming to ask to raise money for your daughter to be able to buy an apartment, many people aren't going to want to give.


It isn't so much that it is being spent on housing as it is that we are viewed as stingy rich Americans that should be giving large amounts to all of them while ignoring local causes.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 10:45 am
According to my Rav only a certain percentage of tuition can be paid with maaser and only in certain circumstances.
Ask your LOR

Also, please be careful who you open doors to
A while back there was a string of home invasions where the thief would dress up like a frum yid.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 10:57 am
doodlesmom wrote:
First if anyone wants to keep track of all their charity The donors fund or OJC is great.
We give maaser to family members, our shul, organizations close to our heart.

I always wonder if most people give maaser or not, I assume everyone does, but people claim I'm wrong.

I always find it weird when someone claims that so and so must have lots of money since he donated $1000 towards charity- when really $1000 is maaser of $10,000 which is not a lot of money to earn (obviously in a week yes, but in a couple months not at all).


Question. I got an ojc check from someone but it says on it "this is not a check" how do I deposit it?
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 11:00 am
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
it's not just the bad actors. it's also the fact that it seems to be common knowledge that the drivers take a large cut... and that not everyone agrees with the lifestyle. If you are coming to ask to raise money for your daughter to be able to buy an apartment, many people aren't going to want to give.


I give a few dollars to each one. I throw out way more than that every day on stupidities, why can't I just give a little here, it's not breaking my bank.

I don't know that I want to scrutinize every dollar I give out. I want to leave some room for Hashem not to scrutinize me too much either Smile.

When I give larger amounts, such as more than twenty dollars, I give to organizations that I am intimately familiar with. But this is just small amounts, no big deal.
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 11:07 am
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
Masser is tuition.


I used to think so too, but it might not be so simple and there are different opinions and might make a difference boys vs girls. Can't hurt to double check with your rav.

I think the basic idea for maaser is "aniyei ircha kodmim"--meaning first your obligation is your family, but then your local mosdos--shul, mikvah, school, kollel. E"Y might be included with "ircha" but ask your rav.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 11:09 am
Miami85, I only have girls in school. Girls are not mechyav to learn so tuition for them can be maaser.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 11:14 am
so the small amounts are in addition to maaser or included. My dh is very cheshboned out. He transfers 10 percent to a seperate account and that's where we give from.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 11:15 am
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
Miami85, I only have girls in school. Girls are not mechyav to learn so tuition for them can be maaser.


Because they are legally obligated to attend school, and it is recognized that girls need this education in order to be able to live as frum Jews, you may be able to consider their tuition maaser. Did your Rav say that you couldn't?
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 11:16 am
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
Miami85, I only have girls in school. Girls are not mechyav to learn so tuition for them can be maaser.


Delete double post
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 11:29 am
southernbubby wrote:
The bad actors have made a lot of people decide not to answer the door. They are their own worst enemies; maybe. They are better off focusing on the people who can give adequately and ignoring the rest. If they are looking for large sums from every house, they should stick to wealthy neighborhoods. I can't picture the people on my street giving large sums to everyone who rings the doorbell.


Nobody I know gives large sums to everyone who rings their bell. It's just not possible and it's not a good idea, in any case. But if someone gets $5 from every house they collected by, they can end up with a few thousand dollars by the end of the day. That's not so bad.

I live in Lakewood and here the meshulachim have to get a letter certifying that they are legit.
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 11:42 am
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
Miami85, I only have girls in school. Girls are not mechyav to learn so tuition for them can be maaser.


right that is correct and it wasn't stated in your original post, but always good to double check with a competent posek with one's individual circumstances.
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 12:15 pm
amother [ Blush ] wrote:
Question. I got an ojc check from someone but it says on it "this is not a check" how do I deposit it?

If the person gave you an OJC check not for charity purposes then they are milking the system and likely doing fraud.
If you got the check for a charity purpose then contact OJC (there should be a number on the check) and they will cash the check out to you if you are a legit charity.

I know that there are some gabbais in shuls that can cash OJC checks for you if you don't have a legal charity NFP organization. But again not sure how legal that is.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 12:31 pm
doodlesmom wrote:
If the person gave you an OJC check not for charity purposes then they are milking the system and likely doing fraud.
If you got the check for a charity purpose then contact OJC (there should be a number on the check) and they will cash the check out to you if you are a legit charity.

I know that there are some gabbais in shuls that can cash OJC checks for you if you don't have a legal charity NFP organization. But again not sure how legal that is.


Its for a legal charity I am on charge of I just had no idea how it worked. I will call them and give the info that they need.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Wed, Oct 30 2019, 12:33 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
it's not just the bad actors. it's also the fact that it seems to be common knowledge that the drivers take a large cut... and that not everyone agrees with the lifestyle. If you are coming to ask to raise money for your daughter to be able to buy an apartment, many people aren't going to want to give.


The collectors also get like 20% themselves. If they are collecting for an apartment for their child, then maybe they don't take a cut.

I don't want to give my tzedukah to buy a young couple an apartment. I like to give to moms who are trying to make ends meet. This tugs at my heart.
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