DS wants to take me out to dinner for my birthday

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View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Mustard

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 5:03 pm

I think this is amazing. Your son wants to spend time and show you that he loves and appreciates you by spending his hard earned money – WOW! You should be SO proud. You should totally go to the $50 fleshing place. Do NOT talk to the manager/cashier, because your son is old enough to do math, and you could end up hurting his feelings. If you feel like you need to, put money into his account secretly. Get dressed up, and have a WONDERFUL time!

livinginflatbus

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 5:10 pm

Sounds like you raised a wonderful son!! Enjoy !!

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 5:14 pm

Definitely go, but find a way to pay him back at least in part without taking away from his good feelings.

maliza

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 5:18 pm

it is said that how a son treats his mother is how he will treat his wife. beautifully impressive for such a young boy - you should always be blessed with much nachas from him and all your children!

amother

Babypink

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 5:22 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

That is really so adorable and sweet. Go with the middle option, and discreetly drop some extra money in his savings account that assuage your guilt.

Any enjoy your date with your son!!

I do this too, my son likes to show his appreciation with gifts in the $30 - $50 range twice a year and I try to find ways to replenish his savings.

thunderstorm

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 5:22 pm

I think it’s beautiful that he wants to do this and that you should accept it wholeheartedly without any negative comment about price and what the money is being spent on.
When I was 11 my older brother and I took our money we had and went to a Florest where we purchased a massive bouquet worth hundreds of dollars for my mother . It was her birthday and mother’s day together. We scrubbed the house down while she was out and about. And displayed the blooms in a huge vase we always had in the corner that was never touched. We were so excited to surprise her. This was done from our wholehearted love and care for our mother who had recently divorced and we wanted her to feel special.
She walked in and didn’t notice a thing . She didn’t notice the house beinf spic and span and she didn’t notice the flowers staring at her. Then we sort of hinted “Ma, do you see anything different in the room?” And then she saw this bouquet (bigger than you would see at a vort) and she started screaming “Are you crazy?! How can you spend your money on something that’ll be in the garbage in a week? What a waste of money”. No thank you, no wow, no I love you , nothing ....it was one of the most horrible memories. We sacrificed so much for our mother because we wanted to show her how much we appreciated her and how much we cared about her and instead she threw it back in our faces. I never bought her a gift again after that.

sub

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 5:31 pm

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

I would not split the bill with the cashier discreetly. he is old enough to read a menu with prices he will surely figure it out. its part of the experience for him, a night out with mom but also a chance to feel like a man and study menu options and prices- calculate the totals. The only thing id do is have your husband approach your son as if they are conspiring together, have your husband give him a 20$ bill or however much dessert will cost and say I want to be a part of the birthday present can you get her and yourself a dessert from me as a surprise? and you can keep the change ... he is entrusted with the extra 20.

go to the 50$ place and just enjoy! Let him feel the pleasure of having treated you!

This. Go and enjoy. Happy birthday.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 5:40 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

Oyyy this is too sad.

flmommy

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 5:53 pm

You should like you have raised a wonderful son who wants to spend time with you. Let him treat you!! I would pick the least expensive place if it was a place I truly would enjoy. Offer to pay for dessert but if he really wants to let him pay for the whole shebang.

singleagain

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 6:33 pm

It's a very special thing for a kid to buy their mom a treat. I still remember, the first credit card I got (teenager, it was my parents) ... Even though I knew it was my parents money. I remember buying my mom gift. Let your son do this. I agree as another poster said, it's prob for the quality time also. And either have your husband going on for dessert or putting something in savings would be a really nice way to add.

tichellady

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 8:09 pm

Researchers say the best gifts are experiences, not material objects, and I happen to agree. Enjoy the dinner with him! Choose the restaurant you want and don’t worry about the $. He is trying to treat you, so let him do it

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 8:45 pm

I would def say to let him treat you and not make it about the money- it’s a healthy lesson for life. When we budget mindfully we get to enjoy our splurges without obsessing!

I would set aside the money in my own mind and top off the next thing he wants to buy himself or something along those lines. Not tot for tat and not an immediate return, but just showing that his maturity and generosity are noticed and you live treating him as well.

And I second those who say you did something right! Definitely take a picture and get dressed nicely.

itsmeima

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 8:52 pm

This is so sweet, you've taught him well!

MitzadSheini

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:33 pm

You are receiving, not taking. And receiving is a form of giving. When you receive his gift with love, you are giving him love. You can always 'pay him back' independently if it makes you feel better. Eg if he is saving up for a new bike or something, you can give him the say $50 'just because'.

Yummymummy3

Wed, Oct 30 2019, 4:16 am

Wow. I'm so impressed. You sound like such a good mum. He's very lucky to have such good parents that have brought him up to be so giving rather than keeping all his money for himself. He sounds so very kind. Happy birthday and enjoy it all.

freilich

Wed, Oct 30 2019, 4:46 am

MitzadSheini wrote:

This.

Op, your son is adorable. What a sweet gesture. Please let him pay it all the way and have him feel like a man.

For some reason, I hate the idea that you should pay him back. I think that's part of the reason why we constantly have posters saying how unappreciative married kids are. Let this kid get the wonderful feeling of giving to his mama. It will definitely be a lesson for him on healthy give and take.

amother

Azure

Wed, Oct 30 2019, 4:53 am

Go to whatever place you want. Then pay for the bill. Tell him you were very touched by his offer. It is the love and not the money that you appreciate.

STMommy

Wed, Oct 30 2019, 5:16 am

imasinger wrote:

What a great kid!

I'd say, "let's compromise, I'll pay for the meal, you pay for our drinks and dessert."

This, exactly.

camp123

Wed, Oct 30 2019, 5:29 am

Go to the place he will enjoy the most. If you have a dh get him to give your son 20 dollars as a contribution without you knowing.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Oct 30 2019, 5:39 am

When my son was 13 he wanted to take me out to dinner, to a place that probably cost around $40 for the two of us. He had the money and was very excited. We had a great time and he felt terrific, and he loved telling people about it.

Go for it, enjoy, and count your blessings!

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