Question for those of you with only brothers

amother

Wheat

Thu, Oct 31 2019, 9:14 pm

I have boys and one girl. I desperately wanted at least once girl. There’s something magical about sisters, and I’m sad that my daughter won’t have that, but she’s a very happy kid who loves her brothers and will never have to share her princess crown. 😊 The mother daughter bond is everything I ever hoped for, so I don’t feel desperate for another girl, even though it would be nice for her to have a sister. If I have another baby, I think I’d be equally happy for a boy or a girl. Both are wonderful, and gender tells you basically nothing about their personality and how they’ll relate to each other and you. Good luck, OP, I get you. I have those same feelings. I hope my rambling as I think this out while I type is helpful in some way. 😜

amother

Coffee

Thu, Oct 31 2019, 10:44 pm

My mom is an only girl. Though she's in her mid 60's now, and has a devoted husband and kids, its was and still is tough on her. Her friendships are solid, but they still aren't as deep as my relationship with my sisters. Often, when life gives her lemons, I feel like a sister would've been able to give her support she can't get from us.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Oct 31 2019, 11:04 pm

Another only girl here, lots of brothers too. Agree, I wish I had a sister more now than I did growing up. Generally women take care of different things than men will, so yes, in some areas more will fall on me. Also, it sounds like when the relationship is good there is nothing like a sister.

amother

Tan

Thu, Oct 31 2019, 11:14 pm

I have only brothers and I'm the oldest, so the only married (my youngest brothers are still growing up). People used to ask me all the time what it was like and my answer was "I don't know any different". I was not a super girly girl so had no problem playing with my brothers, I was the oldest so had that 'position' and I had my friends. I do remember wishing a lot of a sister but I really just wanted another baby (I love babies) - girl would be a nice perk. My best friend is super into her sisters and family so sometimes that would make me jealous, and now after I'm married and lots of people talk about talking to their sisters I'm a little jealous but I have my friends and my mother (bH our relationship just gets better with time and I can share things with her) and I do have a sis in law so that's nice. And I have a daughter now so I've got my baby girl bH bli ayin hara Smile

I wouldn't feel so bad about it - it's out of your control and your daughter will make the best of what she has either way. And if having a sister is not her reality it's not like she had a sister and you took it away - she's never known what it means to have a sister so it's all hypothetical. Give her a happy loving home where she can be well adjusted and you're good. I have good relationships with my brothers bH and while they aren't grown up and married yet, I can see us continuing to have good relationships even if we don't talk super often.

amother

Amber

Fri, Nov 01 2019, 12:33 am

wow I can really relate, I would have another if I knew I'd have a healthy baby girl. mostly so my daughter could have a sister but also so I can have another daughter. but since I don't know that I'd get what I want I'm afraid to have one. and I know this sounds weird to anyone who doesn't have a pull to have a girl or a second girl but its something I think about way too often!

zebra111

Fri, Nov 01 2019, 2:23 am

I think some of this is a personailty/family dynamic thing too. I have a lot of sisters and one brother. Me and my brother are very close, and whilst I call to say good shabbos to my sisters, we're not close at all. As the only one living near my parents and the only one who initiates questions about family to them, I feel that the 'burdens' of the family land squarely on me, despite being nowhere near the only girl or anywhere near being the oldest.
Doesnt answer your question so much, but I guess another perspective to think about

Aylat

Fri, Nov 01 2019, 2:42 am

amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:

This is a hard post for me , because my oldest is a girl and then I have a lot of boys including a newborn bh.
I would like to have another baby in a few years, and try for a girl..
And I do try to have my daughter be close with her cousins.
Which she is.

Ditto to the bolded! Even if I were to have a girl next there would be a 16 year age gap - would they really be sisterly close? And my daughter's girl cousins are much younger than her. I daven that she should have good friends who are like sisters to her.

amother

Teal

Fri, Nov 01 2019, 5:50 am

I have a load of brothers and one sister who is almost 16 years younger than me. At the moment she isn't even a teenager yet-the relationship is probably more like aunt and niece at the moment (and older sibling to my kids). She comes and plays with my kids and helps me out. It's nice but I was never that bothered if I had that sister or not. It could be in another 10years or so, if she's married, I expect things will be different.

yo'ma

Fri, Nov 01 2019, 9:42 am

I can’t tell you from my experience because bh I have a lot of sisters. I do only have one daughter though and she’s the oldest. In taking care of the house and stuff aspect, not a problem. Sometimes she’s more helpful and sometimes my boys are. They each have their own thing with that. Socially, not sure if it’s because of her situation or her personality, but she has very close friends. I never had anything like that. We’re not alike in that way, but I also had/ve a sister I was/is close to.

amother

Sapphire

Fri, Nov 01 2019, 10:02 am

I have just one brother and have always felt sad that I did not have a sister. However, you really can't predict how things will or would have turned out, I have seen so many different situations among my friends and family.

I've got friends who don't get along with their sisters. One in particular has 2 sisters but is much closer to her brother than to them.

My Mum has got no sisters but her brother married a woman who has no siblings, so my Mum and her SIL became like sisters.

My Dad is the oldest of 4 children. He has sisters 4 and 11 years younger than him and a brother 8 years younger. He remembers not being pleased when his mother was expecting the 4th child, but he has always had a closer bond to her than with the brother and the sister closer in age. They just have much more similar personalities.

Is your DD close to any of her brothers?