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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
Yichud room gift- average cost?
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coloredleaves




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 2:15 am
What is standard cost for chasson from middle income yeshivish family to spend on yichud room jewelry gift? And is there currently a standard type of jewelry? ( I know we can do what we want- but I'm interested in knowing the common norms)
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amother
Olive


 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 2:26 am
Usually they give pearls and most people buy the Chinese which is very affordable as opposed to the Japanese which is like triple the amount
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amother
Amber


 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 5:58 am
It depends on your community. Not everyone always gives pearls. I hate pearls and didn't want.
In the end I actually chose the necklace I wanted (my sil lives in the same town and my in-laws are OOT, so she was in charge of getting it and just told me that she doesn't see why I shouldn't pick exactly what I want Wink )
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 6:20 am
I wanted (and got) a grey, black, pink and purple pearl necklace. My husband surprised me and got me a matching bracelet. I still love wearing them and get a lot of compliments on them. I have no idea how much they cost or what the standard is nowadays. Why not have the groom ask the bride what she wants? That's what my husband did.
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 6:35 am
DVOM wrote:
I have no idea how much they cost or what the standard is nowadays. Why not have the groom ask the bride what she wants? That's what my husband did.


Some kallahs also have no idea of what would be reasonable expenditure.

Everyone e has to set a budget based on what they can afford. They can make an effort and make it a generous budget. Within that budget, certainly let the kablan choose what she wants. Some people speak to the jewelry shop beforehand, so that he can direct the kallah to a certain price range.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 7:14 am
Most people are not doing pearls nowadays. A heart pendant or diamond solitaire necklace is much more common (get a small diamond with crushed diamonds all around it to make it look bigger for like $1,000-1,200).
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yersp




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 7:21 am
What happened to diamond earrings in yichud room? I went to the jewelry store my inlaws chose and picked earrings from the trays I was shown. Mil had gone to store earlier to tell store owner the price range and I chose from there.
But really the gift could be any piece of jewelry. Whatever you prefer.
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 7:24 am
I got a diamond necklace.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 8:32 am
Most people are doing diamonds now. Lots of diamond necklaces
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 8:54 am
I got a pearl necklace for $500. I'm astonished that people spend that much money on a yichud room gift, and it sounds like most people spend a lot more than that...

I would've preferred some simple earrings or necklace. Not pearls. But DH didn't ask me, just asked his friend what most people do.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Fri, Nov 01 2019, 9:14 am
yersp wrote:
What happened to diamond earrings in yichud room? I went to the jewelry store my inlaws chose and picked earrings from the trays I was shown. Mil had gone to store earlier to tell store owner the price range and I chose from there.
But really the gift could be any piece of jewelry. Whatever you prefer.


Earrings add a lot to the face and you want them in the pictures so ppl give them as a gift during the engagement. And some people dont get earrings at all.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 04 2019, 11:08 am
diamonds? what?
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Gulabi




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 04 2019, 11:11 am
Do a lot of girls get the same thing then, the heart pendants and so on? They choose what's on trend?
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madys




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:34 pm
My husband got me a set of 5 leather bound machzorim. After 22 years, I'm still using them.
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twogees




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:45 pm
My husband asked me what I wanted and said anything but Pearl's. I personally don't like pearls so I got earrings instead.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:46 pm
SuperWify wrote:
Most people are not doing pearls nowadays. A heart pendant or diamond solitaire necklace is much more common (get a small diamond with crushed diamonds all around it to make it look bigger for like $1,000-1,200).


Its crazy that these standards change so much. A nice pearl necklace could be bought for $200. Why are people spending all of this money on each thing? There is a reason for pearls (eishes chayil). Now its diamonds. I have no idea why.
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dee's mommy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:53 pm
Are gifts in the yichud room a common custom? Is this the general expectation?

I gave my husband a tallis. He had already tried it on in the store.

Other than that, no gifts. (Someone before the wedding told me that my husband should give me a pearl necklace, but I thought that was unnecessary, since I already had one from my grandmother. He had already bought me two rings, (engagement and wedding), why should he buy more?
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amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:56 pm
Pearls are a minhag, and freshwater pearls are very cheap.
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:57 pm
32 Yrs ago so I’m sure things have changed
I got pearl necklace and matching earrings at the vort.
Before Mikvah I got a huge basket with a makeup set, perfume, small jewelry box, and a watch very nice but not fancy, also a robe and matching nightgown, slippers, an evening bag with money inside for the Mikvah.
I also got a leather siddur and Tehillim with my name engraved
For the Yichud room l got my diamond “engagement” ring
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Mon, Nov 04 2019, 1:09 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Pearls are a minhag, and freshwater pearls are very cheap.


A community norm is not a minhag. Don't give halachic status to something that has no religious standing.
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