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Forum
-> Announcements & Mazel Tovs
-> Tehillim Needed
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amother
Taupe
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 Sun, Nov 03 2019, 3:59 pm
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You may have a spouse with a depression or anxiety diagnosis, having developed it in the marriage because of how things have been and being in therapy for it and on meds. Meanwhile, the other spouse has no diagnosis because they hasn't gone for help. This can skew things, especially if the spouse with the diagnosis has reacted extremely to provocation even once, and that has been documented.
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amother
Aubergine
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:11 pm
| amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | | It’s just not that simple. Judges look carefully at police reports, psychiatric reviews and other evidence before taking custody away from a parent, and it’s well known that judges tend to usually give custody to the mother in a huge majority of cases, and will only deviate if there’s some type of issue with the mother. It’s the facts. Maybe there’s money that can influence in certain circles, not in divorce court. No judge will risk his career by taking bribes. |
Do a search on "NPD smear campaign" and you will see how they really CAN make a judge be vicious to the innocent spouse. It's hard to believe but it's really true.
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myself
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:12 pm
Can everyone on this site please stop passing judgement?
I'm not involved in any way but AFAIK none of you were appointed to preside over the case, so what is it to you? Leave the work to the legal personnel dealing with the court and offer your support if you feel able.
OP asked for your tefillos -- nothing more. Hashem knows the truth so just daven for the best possible outcome for everyone involved, especially for the children. You can be sure that nobody is awarding custody based on your opinions...
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amother
Brunette
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:15 pm
| amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | | Actually I am. Some of you prefer to listen to gossipy stories rather than the facts. |
I seriously doubt you are an attorney or you would have seen this quite often.
It's fairly easy to get an ex parte OP signed by the duty judge.
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#BestBubby
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:18 pm
| amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | | Actually I am. Some of you prefer to listen to gossipy stories rather than the facts. |
Of course crooked lawyers defend crooked judges. You're all in cahoots.
And making a ton of $$$ of other people's misery.
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amother
Linen
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:20 pm
| amother [ Brunette ] wrote: | I seriously doubt you are an attorney or you would have seen this quite often.
It's fairly easy to get an ex parte OP signed by the duty judge. |
Maybe she's a court clerk
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#BestBubby
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:31 pm
| amother [ Taupe ] wrote: | | You may have a spouse with a depression or anxiety diagnosis, having developed it in the marriage because of how things have been and being in therapy for it and on meds. Meanwhile, the other spouse has no diagnosis because they hasn't gone for help. This can skew things, especially if the spouse with the diagnosis has reacted extremely to provocation even once, and that has been documented. |
Yes - an abusive spouse may cause the victim to develop depression and/or anxiety. Then the abusive spouse claims HE should get custody because mother is "mentally ill"
Mom is not really mentally ill - just normal response to abuse. The Depression and anxiety go away after leaving the abuser - if Judge is not corrupt and Mom gets the kids. But this is how abusers often win custody.
Abusers don't seek help because they are convinced there is nothing wrong with THEM - it's they're wife who's crazy.
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amother
Plum
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:33 pm
| amother [ Brunette ] wrote: | I seriously doubt you are an attorney or you would have seen this quite often.
It's fairly easy to get an ex parte OP signed by the duty judge. |
It’s easy to get an ex parte order removing children from a mother and granting only supervised visitation? Not in my experience.
Also, in my experience while courts do get it wrong at times, most try to get it right, and work hard to protect the children.
But none of that means that things don’t go awry, particularly if there is an unscrupulous ex-spouse willing to lie and manipulate tings, so that the court lacks an accurate picture.
OP, I am saying tehillim and praying for the best possible outcome for your children. Good luck.
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amother
Linen
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:35 pm
| amother [ Plum ] wrote: | It’s easy to get an ex parte order removing children from a mother and granting only supervised visitation? Not in my experience.
Also, in my experience while courts do get it wrong at times, most try to get it right, and work hard to protect the children.
But none of that means that things don’t go awry, particularly if there is an unscrupulous ex-spouse willing to lie and manipulate tings, so that the court lacks an accurate picture.
OP, I am saying tehillim and praying for the best possible outcome for your children. Good luck. |
The bolded, combined with the fact that abused spouses are often not their own best advocates unfortunately
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amother
Floralwhite
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:42 pm
Hi | amother [ Brunette ] wrote: | | If she was working in the legal field, she wouldn't be doubting OP. |
If the issue wasn’t so serious and painful I’d have to laugh at all the armchair commentators saying with certainty that they’re right though I’m sure they’ve never stepped foot into a courtroom and are basing their opinions on what they hear from one side of a battle. Whatever.
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smile18
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:44 pm
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Op, Davening for you and kids that all should go well on your end
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amother
Floralwhite
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:45 pm
| amother [ Navy ] wrote: | | Unless the spouse beat them to it, took the kids, took out a restraining order, and manipulated the kids before. |
If the children have been coached and are lying, the psychiatrists know how to get the truth out of them. A judge doesn’t base his decision on custody on the child’s word alone. Since many of you believe this is simple and husbands regularly fool the judge why wouldn’t the mothers do the same?
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amother
Brunette
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:49 pm
| amother [ Linen ] wrote: | | Maybe she's a court clerk |
Possibly or a court reporter or a legal secretary. She is not practicing as an attorney in family court.
She wouldn't be so clueless.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:50 pm
| amother [ Plum ] wrote: | It’s easy to get an ex parte order removing children from a mother and granting only supervised visitation? Not in my experience.
Also, in my experience while courts do get it wrong at times, most try to get it right, and work hard to protect the children.
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This. Many kind people want to automatically believe every person who says they were unfairly treated in court because of a manipulative husband who lied, coached the children bribed the judge with his money, and that’s admirable but not realistic. For the most part the system works and the judge gathers a lot of evidence before making decisions on custody.
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amother
Orchid
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:51 pm
| amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | | It’s just not that simple. Judges look carefully at police reports, psychiatric reviews and other evidence before taking custody away from a parent, and it’s well known that judges tend to usually give custody to the mother in a huge majority of cases, and will only deviate if there’s some type of issue with the mother. It’s the facts. Maybe there’s money that can influence in certain circles, not in divorce court. No judge will risk his career by taking bribes. |
I want to share my story to show how judges are above the law and can bribes with impunity:
My BFF had a ton of evidence against her Ex: substantiated child abuse, substantiated domestic abuse, CPS reports, Police Reports, Marriage Counselor Session Notes where Ex stated "he wished he never had children" and "he would rather watch paint dry than go on outing with children". Many affidavits from Principals, CPS Workers, Doctors - all supporting the Mother for custody and testifying how Ex was abusive.
Judge was bribed. Ex got custody - WITHOUT ANY TRIAL. I repeat WITHOUT ANY TRIAL!
Ex got restraining order so Mom can't even see kids - again WITHOUT ANY TRIAL!
I went to the News Papers, I went to DA, I went to many Politicians - nobody will help. They all know what's going on and they are all IN CAHOOTS!
One of the characteristics of a Third World Country is outrageous corruption.
USA is turning into a Third World Country (thanks Democrat-socialists!).
It's not just Rubashkin - this happens to millions of people, but you will never read about it in Fake News.
Same for CPS. Three politicians, one of them Nancy Schaefer, and two documentary makers against CPS, tried to expose the corruption of CPS - all five mysteriously died within a two year period.
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amother
Maroon
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:52 pm
I know OP personally. She is a sweetheart and wouldn't hurt a fly. I've never seen a more devoted mother. She has held down a job and is mentally stable. That is why she has the community support.
We are all davening for you!!!
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amother
Rose
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:52 pm
Unfortunately a lot of crazy things can go on in "family court".
May you and your children and everyone in need be blessed with a healthy happy outcome.
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amother
Brunette
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:52 pm
| amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | | If the children have been coached and are lying, the psychiatrists know how to get the truth out of them. A judge doesn’t base his decision on custody on the child’s word alone. Since many of you believe this is simple and husbands regularly fool the judge why wouldn’t the mothers do the same? |
As I told you several times, you can get de facto custody with an OP.
Many times the children recant when their parent is sitting in jail. The psychiatrists aren't foolproof. Their parent can get them to say what they want them to say.
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Laiya
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:53 pm
| amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | | Hi If the issue wasn’t so serious and painful I’d have to laugh at all the armchair commentators saying with certainty that they’re right and I’m wrong though I’m sure they’ve never stepped foot into a courtroom and are basing their opinions on what they hear from one side of a battle. But ya know what? You win. You’re right and I’m wrong. Whatever floats your boat. |
OP started this thread to vent her pain and ask for support. In this context, your posts appear to carry an implication of judgment against the OP, which would only serve to further her pain. Can you see this?
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amother
Hotpink
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Sun, Nov 03 2019, 4:54 pm
Did anyone actually read the OP? They did not get to court yet. So far, he's claiming all kinds of things about her, and that's where the court comes in.
As you mentioned, courts are usually on the side of the mother, so OP has a good chance of winning. Hatzlacha, OP!
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