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Forum -> Household Management
How many hours do u work, how much cleaning help?
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amother
Linen


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 9:58 am
I've heard that she said that but for me quality food. supplements... which are not cheap is waaay more important for my sanity. It's really very person specific.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:02 am
giselle wrote:
I grew up in Lakewood too, and everyone I know I had cleaning help. It wasn’t considered a luxury. I think that’s a big factor to take into account on this thread - those who consider it a luxury and those who don’t.


Most Americans consider cleaning help a luxury that’s reserved for the wealthy. Is cleaning help very cheap in Lakewood?

SA amother is cleaning help still so cheap in SA these days with all the changes going on in your country? Also SAHMs with full time cleaning help and kids at school, what do they do all day?
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:12 am
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
I am not embarrassed.

I don't work and have a husband who does a lot more housework than I do and have 30 hours a week cleaning help. He wants the house spotless. I want a life beyond the house.

When we got married, he got a cleaning lady right away and said every Jewish house has one. This seems true at least for the chassidim. I don't know any IRL who don't have help.

My husband is out of the house more than I am, helps plenty (but probably doesn’t do more than me) and wants a spotless house. I want sanity, not to spend my every waking moment cleaning so the house meets his requirements. So....we have cleaning help 18 hours a week. :-)
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giselle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:16 am
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
Most Americans consider cleaning help a luxury that’s reserved for the wealthy. Is cleaning help very cheap in Lakewood?

SA amother is cleaning help still so cheap in SA these days with all the changes going on in your country? Also SAHMs with full time cleaning help and kids at school, what do they do all day?

That’s what I’m saying. It’s very cultural. My impression is that the Lakewood/Brooklyn mentality is that this is a necessity. Like another poster wrote, bread, water and cleaning help. When I was struggling financially at one point, I cut down on cleaning help, but it would never dawn on me to get rid of it altogether. I simply would not manage.
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amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:17 am
35 work
8 clean

My antisemitic workmate made a bunch of snarky comments about me having cleaning help.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:19 am
giselle wrote:
That’s what I’m saying. It’s very cultural. My impression is that the Lakewood/Brooklyn mentality is that this is a necessity. Like another poster wrote, bread, water and cleaning help. When I was struggling financially at one point, I cut down on cleaning help, but it would never dawn on me to get rid of it altogether. I simply would not manage.


Because you don’t like to clean? Never learned how?
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:20 am
Work 2 hours a week and have 10 hours cleaning help.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:22 am
amother [ Green ] wrote:
I don't think those were the answers you were looking for.
So here goes, I don't work and I have 20 hours of a housekeeper.


Gosh this is so embarrassing embarrassed



Same. Though I feel no embarrassment whatsoever.

I fail to understand why the haves have to hide from the have nots.

Now it shouldn't be waved into their faces, but no need to feel shame.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:28 am
Even if I wasn’t working, I would have as much help as I have now, or maybe more.

Someone wanted to know what the stay at home moms with no kids home do all day. Some spend day after day out in the town. They shop, they eat out, they socialize with friends.
Some volunteer for organizations. One day they go to this place, the next to another....
Some volunteer for different things in theirs kids’ schools and classrooms.
Some are home all day. They may make gourmet meals. They may exercise. They may sit and watch all day. But who gives a darn? It is their money, and they can spend it however they want!!
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:29 am
giselle wrote:
That’s what I’m saying. It’s very cultural. My impression is that the Lakewood/Brooklyn mentality is that this is a necessity. Like another poster wrote, bread, water and cleaning help. When I was struggling financially at one point, I cut down on cleaning help, but it would never dawn on me to get rid of it altogether. I simply would not manage.


I live in Lakewood but have a very unlakewood mentality (I.e. Men should support their wives, colored shirts are just as holy as white shirts, Graco strollers are great, boys should wear sweatpants if that's what makes them happy, headscarves are just as nice as sheitels...)
I have 8 hrs cleaning help, Work 20 hours out of the home. I have two boys under age 6.
Dh is also not Lakewood-type. We are rather simple. However when our former cleaning lady left, we tried to go without and we could not manage. It's impossible for me to come home from work at 3, take care of the kids (play, dinner, bath) until 7/7:30, then spend an hour or two on hardcore cleaning each day, with Fridays demanding 2-3 hours of cleaning while the little kids are home. It's just impossible for me. I tried it and ended up with tremendous back pain and exhaustion.

My boys are constantly making messes and even maintaining a decent appearance in the home takes time and hard work.

Frum people have shabbos (kids home all day, crumby challah /matzah, messy chicken soup- my kids always make a mess), plus yom tov- I need to cook and prep, I can also clean or I will collapse, my family has lots of laundry with kids having accidents and wanting to change and getting dirty, I also need some time for myself (gym, reading), I need to go to sleep at a decent hour...
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:30 am
Work full time and often much more than full time in my home-based business. No kids at home but little grand-duckies ransack the house regularly.

No cleaning help — and the house looks like it too!
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giselle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:36 am
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
Because you don’t like to clean? Never learned how?

Hate it.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:42 am
37-1/2 hours a week plus commuting 45 minutes each way. No hired help but a helpful dh.

For about a year when I had 4 kids under 4, dh not able to pitch in at all, and I had the same work sked but commuted over an hour each way, I had help for two hours once in two weeks. Not enough to keep chaos in check but just enough to keep me from slitting my wrists.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:46 am
Those who hire cleaning help are helping someone else make a living, which is Maimonides’ highest level of charity.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:49 am
My work hours vary depending on the season. Some weeks I work more than others.
Cleaning help is the same. 12 hours divided in 2 days a week.
To me it's a must. Keeps my house feeling fresh and tidy.
I don't clean in between. My kids are bigger and don't make such a dirty mess.
When I had toddlers I'd clean the floors in between cleaning help days.
A few years ago I was in school for my profession. My classmates were mostly Spanish and black. They'd all say how they have their week structured, which days they clean what. I didn't mention that I had cleaning help. It felt weird. Like I was spoiled.
I think cleaning help for all is a Jewish concept. But for good reason. We have more kids. More family meals. More cooking. No Saturdays to catch up on chores.
Lol I feel we deserve it. LOL
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amother
Blush


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 10:50 am
I stopped working 2 years ago when having my 3rd child and I kept the cleaning help: 12 hours a week
And I still wish to have full time cleaning help one day. Cleaning is really not my thing I love cooking and taking care of the kids (crafting and playing with them). And having a clean and clutter free home is really important to me. But there are days were I forgo the cleaning if the cleaning women didn’t show up to rather cook good food and play with the kids.
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baby12x




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 11:08 am
I just want to clarify something:
If you have cleaning help than I am truly happy for you! There is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about! Why should you drive yourself crazy to do something you don't have to?

But please don't put us women who don't have cleaning help on a pedestal as if we are "superwomen". We are not. We are just poor.

Yes, I know how to budget. I need the money for other things. Things like food, bills, rent etc.

Please enjoy your cleaning help. You don't need to justify it to anyone. But just take a moment to thank hashem for the gift He has given you.
Recognize that if "you can't imagine living without help" than that is a privilege by itself.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 11:12 am
I work 22 hours a week, and have 3 hours of cleaning help. She does the washing floors/bathrooms and other such stuff. I do regular daily cleaning. I have 3 kids, the oldest is 3.
I wish I could have cleaning help twice a week, for more hours. It's not even the money that's keeping me back (I have a sponsor Smile ) It's just that it's so impossible to find good cleaning help here, that are available the hours I want. So for now I have a cleaning lady who is expensive, doesn't speak English, can't stay too long, and leaves headboards undusted, dust bunnies under beds and in corners... (And yes, I've mentioned it and pointed it out multiple times. Doesn't help)

I grew up in a house with a cleaning lady about 4 days a week and my mom was a sahm.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 11:14 am
giselle wrote:
Hate it.


Got it. I think most people don’t love it. I don’t mean to pick on you, and thanks for answering. It does come across to outsiders that some Jewish women think they are above cleaning and it’s a little odd. How much does cleaning help cost in Lakewood and Brooklyn?

And we are not the only women who cook and have their kids home on the weekends.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2019, 11:15 am
I work around 32 hours a week (at home). But my hours are not flexible at all.
My kids are between 3-15. I have 3 hours a week. Bathrooms, floors, vacuuming, that sort.
My house is often not clean. I don't like it but it has to be ok.
My laundry gets washed and dried but folded, put away- not so much.
My kids help a bit, but I don't rely on them. Putting away toys or clearing the table- yeah. Specific erev shabbos chores. But they do come home after 5, have lots of homework, etc.
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