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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 1:27 am
Im not here to judge , just a question I feel curious about . I assume ppl will have different opinions or its more of a matter where u coming from.

Are u ok if your 15-16 year olds have text? Not that its wrong, I feel its needed sometimes and convenient. What do u think? I did actually get for my db since most of neighbors on my block has but I still wonder if I did the right thing. He had to work hard in order to earn it though.
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amother




Pearl


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 1:35 am
I don't see anything wrong with text. It's just a neutral form of communication.
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salt




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 1:49 am
I think it's a simpler form of whatsapp, and kids can get fairly addicted to it.
Used within reason though, it's a useful form of communication.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 2:01 am
I don't see an issue with it.
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s c




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 3:35 am
No problem with it
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dankbar




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 4:00 am
Many schools_yeshivas don't allow students, phones with text, find out not to get into trouble
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kakky




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 4:07 am
depends on your community? what is acceptable by the school?
my 16 yr old has a smartphone (with a filter) and mostly uses whatsapp. those who only have text messages are out of the loop and often miss out on activites.
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Aylat




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 5:24 am
To be honest, I don't really see what can be wrong with text. How can someone be addicted to it? WhatsApp can have a problematic side, although it's really useful and almost necessary in my circles (all work and school info is sent via whatsapp) But what's the downside of text?

Text is very useful for when you can't reach someone by phone, eg if they're at work or in class or might be asleep already and you want to send them something they'll see later. Or if your schedules don't match to have a phone call - he's in class when you want to call him and you'll be in a meeting later when he's available.

(For context: my 14 yo daughter has a phone with text, and we're planning to get her a filtered smartphone with whatsapp but no internet browsers or youtube next year. The reason for the smartphone is because she will be travelling intercity to school every day then, and we want her to have access to things like public transport apps. Also her social circles will mostly be communicating via whatsapp and she will end up missing activities if she doesn't have it.)
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 5:45 am
I am ok with text. Our kids have to wait until 18 for a smart phone which is extremely late in our circles.
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salt




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 6:46 am
Aylat wrote:
To be honest, I don't really see what can be wrong with text. How can someone be addicted to it? WhatsApp can have a problematic side, although it's really useful and almost necessary in my circles (all work and school info is sent via whatsapp) But what's the downside of text?

Text is very useful for when you can't reach someone by phone, eg if they're at work or in class or might be asleep already and you want to send them something they'll see later. Or if your schedules don't match to have a phone call - he's in class when you want to call him and you'll be in a meeting later when he's available.

(For context: my 14 yo daughter has a phone with text, and we're planning to get her a filtered smartphone with whatsapp but no internet browsers or youtube next year. The reason for the smartphone is because she will be travelling intercity to school every day then, and we want her to have access to things like public transport apps. Also her social circles will mostly be communicating via whatsapp and she will end up missing activities if she doesn't have it.)


If text is all you have (other than calls) then you can get addicted to it.
My DS has a kosher phone, although it has a camera, and he can copy photos, etc from friend's phones via bluetooth (I'm not very technical, as you may have realized).
His phone also has a couple of silly games, like Snake and some little shooting game.

Even just with that functionality, he spends a long time staring at his phone, wading through his photos, etc. Getting silly photos and videos from friends. Playing Snake.

If he were to be able to text his friends, I can see him finding it very difficult to switch off his phone at night - what if someone sends him 1 more message and he's already switched it off.
It's not the same as whatsapp where you're part of a big group. But it's still something you can get hooked to, if you're the type to like fiddling with you phone, and it's the most exciting thing you have.

Another thing, it's the next step to whatsapp and internet.(slippery slope kind of thing)
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salt




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 6:48 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Im not here to judge , just a question I feel curious about . I assume ppl will have different opinions or its more of a matter where u coming from.

Are u ok if your 15-16 year olds have text? Not that its wrong, I feel its needed sometimes and convenient. What do u think? I did actually get for my db since most of neighbors on my block has but I still wonder if I did the right thing. He had to work hard in order to earn it though.


Just curious, what did he have to do to earn the phone with texting?
I'm asking cos I often have this debate with DH, whether things like this should be earned, or given, and if so, earned by what. (maybe it's for another thread).
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nicole81




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 6:54 am
I have no issue with it. My teens have filtered smart phones. I can read every text sent and received actually, and I can remotely disable certain apps. Definitely no addiction issues with my 14 and 15 year olds. They're way too busy with school work though and want to go to sleep as early as possible.
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amother




Pewter


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 7:41 am
In my circles kids don't get a phone until after school (for the girls) Boy usually also at 18+. But only phones without internet. What my family does is having a home-mobile and the girls use it if needed with text.
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freilich




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 7:48 am
The problem with text for teenagers is the addictive part. A teenage brain isn't mature enough to withstand addiction. Phones today have a strong allure to kids. And as Salt stated above, they can be busy with it for hours even without text.
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giselle




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 7:51 am
It has a lot to do with what’s expected in his circles. Originally I did not let my son text his friends but as he got older, and all of them were texting, I allowed it. He’s a lot younger than 15, and they have a class chat.
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amother




Coffee


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 8:12 am
nicole81 wrote:
I have no issue with it. My teens have filtered smart phones. I can read every text sent and received actually, and I can remotely disable certain apps. Definitely no addiction issues with my 14 and 15 year olds. They're way too busy with school work though and want to go to sleep as early as possible.


Which filter/parental control program do you use?
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 8:40 am
nicole81 wrote:
I have no issue with it. My teens have filtered smart phones. I can read every text sent and received actually, and I can remotely disable certain apps. Definitely no addiction issues with my 14 and 15 year olds. They're way too busy with school work though and want to go to sleep as early as possible.


Same with my kids , they're busy with yashiva all day . They have the phone for an hour when they come home . My ds very scheduled he goes to sleep on time , turns off cell phone the right time , I guess depending on child.

For the one who asked about how my ds had to earn it. He just had to choose from one of his weak areas we want change in him that he going to work hard to get better in it.
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nicole81




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 8:52 am
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
Which filter/parental control program do you use?


Qustodio
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amother




Lime


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 8:55 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Im not here to judge , just a question I feel curious about . I assume ppl will have different opinions or its more of a matter where u coming from.

Are u ok if your 15-16 year olds have text? Not that its wrong, I feel its needed sometimes and convenient. What do u think? I did actually get for my db since most of neighbors on my block has but I still wonder if I did the right thing. He had to work hard in order to earn it though.


Leaving the addictive point aside, there is nothing wrong with texting. It's just another form of communication. If you want to do something inappropriate with communication, you can do it in other forms too.

As for addiction & any other concerns, the kids need to learn how to properly handle phones. Whenever they'll get the phone, whether its 16 or 20, it'll be enticing and contain the thrill of the new. There's a good chance they'll become hooked to it at either age. I give it to my kids now, so I can guide them and set limits and teach them whats considered appropriate or not. I'd rather they learn it now on my cheshbon, than on their future spouses or kids' cheshbon.
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Aylat




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Nov 07 2019, 9:28 am
salt wrote:
If text is all you have (other than calls) then you can get addicted to it.
My DS has a kosher phone, although it has a camera, and he can copy photos, etc from friend's phones via bluetooth (I'm not very technical, as you may have realized).
His phone also has a couple of silly games, like Snake and some little shooting game.

Even just with that functionality, he spends a long time staring at his phone, wading through his photos, etc. Getting silly photos and videos from friends. Playing Snake.

If he were to be able to text his friends, I can see him finding it very difficult to switch off his phone at night - what if someone sends him 1 more message and he's already switched it off.
It's not the same as whatsapp where you're part of a big group. But it's still something you can get hooked to, if you're the type to like fiddling with you phone, and it's the most exciting thing you have.

Another thing, it's the next step to whatsapp and internet.(slippery slope kind of thing)


I agree that those silly games on simple phones can also be addictive. Once a kid already has a phone I don't see text messaging as increasing the problem (whatsapp yes). But maybe for some kids it does What
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