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So many cute adults I know lisp
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 1:27 am
I feel like there must be a connection bec it's so weird I feel like so many people that I know that are extra cute/with-it have a slight lisp - the type you can miss but it's there...lol maybe I have a lisp f-tish
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amother




Oak
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 6:50 am
I am a speech therapist, and my insides CRUMBLE when I hear an adult lisp. Cant ever focus on the conversation because I'm too busy cringing
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 6:53 am
What makes an adult cute? I’m often told in adorable but when I ask why people just laugh. And ftr, I don’t lisp at all. And I don’t find adults lisping to be cute. I actually feel bad for them.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 7:03 am
Can’t say I ever noticed a connection. Do you mean they look cute or they act cute? If the latter, both may be deliberate affectations because they, like you, think lisping is appealing. (Hint: past the age of four or five, it’s not.) Less likely but still possible is that they tried unsuccessfully to get rid of the lisp, saw how jarring a lisp is in a sober adult, and adopted a cutesie persona to which a lisp is less ill-suited. But I suspect it’s all in the eye of the beholder, iow you. You find lisping attractive so you think people who lisp are attractive as well.

Yes, people can and do lisp on purpose. It’s not possible that so many gay men have the identical untreated speech impediment. .
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 7:05 am
Yeah; I don't want to be "cute".
Attractive, professional, put together, stylish, nice, friendly, sweet perhaps.

Not cute.

I hate my slight lisp. In my head when I talk I don't have it; I hear it back on recordings though. Over the years I'm less resentful of it and more accepting of myself.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 7:06 am
I know 2 adults who lisp or have a similar speech impediment.

One is a mathematician who was my roommate in college, the other is one of my sons' rabbanim.

I never considered either one to be cute.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 7:08 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
What makes an adult cute?


If your first language isn't english "cute" is often used.
I hear yiddish speakers misusing the term on adults; and in hebrew it's socially appropriate too.

In english we would say "She's so sweet!" "She's such a doll!" "She's so nice".
These don't go over well in hebrew. The direct translation of cute is chamood(ah) and is used for adults regularly. It can mean sweet/nice, and it can mean hot/attractive.

It's funny. We english speakers use cute on adult fashion but in hebrew cute clothing is usually children's and babies clothing. Languages are funny like that.

But yes. Please, when you speak english refrain from calling adults cute.
It is condescending.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 7:23 am
When I see an adult lisping, I feel bad that their parents didn't take care of it as a child.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 7:25 am
. Cuteness is a particular type of attractiveness associated more with friendly, playful, smiley, good-natured and often slightly round-faced, snub-nosed, or short-statured boy-or-girl-next-door appeal rather than with sleek and sophisticated elegance. Goldie Hawn and Sally Field are cute. Cher and Meryl Streep are not.

.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 7:41 am
Hey I have a lisp!
I don’t like it and even as an adult I went to a speech therapist to try and get rid of it!
Meantime it’s still here!
It’s so annoying. So nice to hear that there can be someone who actually thinks it’s cute!!
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 8:03 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
When I see an adult lisping, I feel that their parents didn't take care of it as a child.


That's me. I have a slight lisp that's hardly noticeable but its defiantly there. No one has ever said anything but the times I've asked my close friends if they've noticed, they say yes, but its slight. My mother always said she thought it was so cute and she didn't want me to lose it, so she never took me to speech therapy. I'm not so sure that's the case. I think it was a combination of the expense (back then, insurance didn't cover it like they do now) and the time to take me to appointments - she did not have enough hours in her day to take me to appointments. I fully understand and looking back on my childhood, I can see the stress she was in all the time from her job (nasty bosses) and can honestly say, if one thing had to be left to slide, let it be my lisp.

amother [ Oak ] wrote:
I am a speech therapist, and my insides CRUMBLE when I hear an adult lisp. Cant ever focus on the conversation because I'm too busy cringing

I'm sorry (#sorrynotsorry) for being the cause of your insides crumbling. May I suggest you learn some empathy or learn to ignore. Or get a new profession. None of us need to feel judged by you, nor do we need to feel that you cant focus on conversation with us.
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giselle




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 8:29 am
I’m more bothered by calling an adult cute than by the lisp.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 8:42 am
I have an adult brother in law that lisps and it’s not cute at all. I had a hard time understanding him when he came into the family ( I guess my sister doesn’t mind it)
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groisamomma




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 9:17 am
Cute? I think not. DH lisps quite heavily. I'm used to it so I hardly notice it but people say it's the first thing they notice about him. DS picked it up when he started talking but I didn't do anything about it until the speech therapist at his school called to tell me that his first grade rebbe referred him (suprising for a chassidish cheder in Lakewood!) and he has a definite lisp. I gave permission for her to treat him and within 7 months it was gone.
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amother




Plum
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 9:25 am
I have a lisp.
Yes, you hear it loud and clear.

To the therapist who cringes and to all the other ones that have a hard time understanding and even to those who think "I'm cute" :

I went for 10 years of twice weekly speech therapy.
In 2 different country's with 3 different therapists.
I practiced every other night with my parents.
If it were up to them, I'd still be in therapy.

On my 16th birthday, I told them that I'm through with therapy.
Whoever cares enough to hear what I have to say will understand me and whoever not, is not important enough to me to go on with the hard work of speech therapy.

18 years later, I'm married with a bunch of kids, I'm a kindergarten teacher and have a bunch of normal friends.

Everything my parents were scared I wouldn't achieve without perfect speech.

*the only time I noticed it being a problem, was when I practised the Sin and Shin letters of the Alef Beis, my husband taught them*
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 9:33 am
For what its worth, it may make the speech therapist crumble, but a lisp - major or minor - did not stop a significant percentage top hollywood personalities from making it to the top. Here are just a few.

Barbara Walters - a MAJOR TV host, like MAJOR has a lisp. She is known for it. And she has been in the industry for over 30 years.

Drew Berrymore - she is also major and also loved and adored for her lisp. Yes, it makes her cute. I get it, OP.

Sean Connery - need I say more? He is laughing with his lisp all the way to the bank and crying into his many dollars for offending people.

Not impressed with these actors with lisps? I have a good one for you. I hope the speech therapist does not crumble or get distracted by the way Moshe Rabbeinu spoke.
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amother




Mint
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 9:41 am
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
I have a lisp.
Yes, you hear it loud and clear.

To the therapist who cringes and to all the other ones that have a hard time understanding and even to those who think "I'm cute" :

I went for 10 years of twice weekly speech therapy.
In 2 different country's with 3 different therapists.
I practiced every other night with my parents.
If it were up to them, I'd still be in therapy.



I thought I was the only one who had speech therapy for years! I started when I was little. By junior high my speech therapist told my mother that I was at the age when it had to be my decision. when I'm ready I'll try again. she was right. I took a break for a few years and then tried two different therapists. I've had at least 4 therapists that I can remember. My speech is still not perfect but waaaay better then when I started. At a certain point it is what it is.

To the poster who insinuated that it was our parents fault for not taking care of it. My mother tried, please don't assume the worst of her, I'm offended on her behalf.
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amother




Aubergine
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 9:57 am
I find a lisp cute on kids under the age of six or so. By the time my kids are fiveish I try to gently and playfully make them aware of any sounds they aren't saying correctly. For any kids who can't produce the sound within the expected time frame (I check with the SLP for norms), I start speech therapy. I don't find adults cute at all, lisp or no. An adult with a lisp is an adult with a lisp. I don't have strong feelings about it.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 10:04 am
I wonder if amother Oak (the speech therapist) meant is that when she heard someone lisp, she was very upset that something treatable hadn't been addressed.

If so, it's a wonderful object lesson for her in how easy it is to be misunderstood, and how painful. Something every speech therapist should keep close to heart.
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post  Fri, Nov 08 2019, 10:28 am
I'm a speech therapist. My teenage son lisps. I worked for years with my son to improve his speech (he had many issues) and now it's pretty good (aside from the mild lisp). But he doesn't want to work on it anymore so zehu. If they don't care to put in the time and effort to think about what they're doing when they talk there's nothing you can do. Our Rav also lisps and it hasn't held him back from achieving great things for Klal Yisroel.
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