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What is Bais Yaakov hashkafa?
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 1:46 pm
Prospect, Masores and Lev BY sound like the type of places you would fit in.
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 4:14 pm
So I fully cover my hair, knees and elbows, and don't wear open toed shoes. We ask a rav about our shailas. My husband learns nightly and we try to live a Torah centric life.

But- we think secular education is important, would not mind our dd going to Stern or even a CUNY or SUNY when the time comes, because how can u support regular learning without a proper education and career? My husband wants to work and thinks the responsibility to support a family starts with the husband. Dd likes sesame street and princess Sophia. My husband does not wear a hat and does not keep a beard.

We live in Flatbush. I know some people who send to lev and prospect. One of the families I know from prospect are solidly frum, and the other one lives a lifestyle I'm not comfortable with, like clubbing, vacations with a few couples together, and then there's the outward appearance which IMO is borderline tzanua. Is it going to be like this in every school? Two families aren't exactly representative of the school overall, but it makes me question this whole hashkafa thing, like do families and schools even care and what do they look for? And if we're honest will that affect dd from getting in?

I don't want to send dd to a Chabad school. I want her to have friends in the area. And we're already different enough coming from OOT, I don't want a reason to make my daughter not fit in.

The application to lev contained the "BY hashkafa" letter which prompted this whole thread. I don't see myself looking any differently on the outside, but idk if the rest is the same or not.

Are there any other schools that might work?
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LovesHashem




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 4:54 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
One of the families I know from prospect are solidly frum, and the other one lives a lifestyle I'm not comfortable with, like clubbing, vacations with a few couples together, and then there's the outward appearance which IMO is borderline tzanua. Is it going to be like this in every school? Two families aren't exactly representative of the school overall, but it makes me question this whole hashkafa thing, like do families and schools even care and what do they look for?


Yes; this goes on in most schools.
There's a lot of lying to get into the school that look right; or the parents wish their hashkafa was more that type; or a million other reasons people send children to school that don't fully align with their hashkafah.

The schools do care, but many people don't and will lie, manipulate, and dress up in order for their child to get it.
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amother




Apricot


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 5:02 pm
Prospect has less of what you're concerned about. Many JPF families there. It's considered a bit "modern" by the yeshivish crowd.

Unrelated: I wish there was a Prospect HS here in Monsey. Waa!
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behappy2




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 5:45 pm
I would suggest sending to a frummer elementary school (that matches your tznius, and Torah Hashkafah) and for high school go a little more to the left. High school kids in any specific school will all do similar things post high school (from what I see)
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amother




Blush


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 5:56 pm
LovesHashem wrote:
Yes; this goes on in most schools.
There's a lot of lying to get into the school that look right; or the parents wish their hashkafa was more that type; or a million other reasons people send children to school that don't fully align with their hashkafah.

The schools do care, but many people don't and will lie, manipulate, and dress up in order for their child to get it.


This. I went to a ‘top’ yeshivish seminary super hard to get into. And my roommate was a genuine slut. She watched p*rn and did completely not Bais Yaakov stuff all year. Boone would even believe me if I said which seminary.

So I never take any school with any reputation at face value anymore.

Good luck!!
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GreenEyes26




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 6:44 pm
BY schools are all about conformity - whatever that means to that school.

So if you feel that you can’t conform to the schools rules, it’s better for you AND your children not to send there.

And I don’t send my kids to BY schools for this reason (amongst many others).
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 6:52 pm
GreenEyes26 wrote:
BY schools are all about conformity - whatever that means to that school.

So if you feel that you can’t conform to the schools rules, it’s better for you AND your children not to send there.

And I don’t send my kids to BY schools for this reason (amongst many others).



If a school has a hashkafa it is offensive and impolite not to respect it.
The school can do whatever they want just the same way you are doing what you want. RESPECT is a word not just for the dictionary and not just for your way of practicing yiddishkeit.
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amother




Seashell


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 6:54 pm
[quote="amother [ Apricot ]"

Unrelated: I wish there was a Prospect HS here in Monsey. Waa![/quote]

Prospect HS was all about the teachers. They can’t replicate the school because the teachers are not here.
Ateres has some fabulous teachers too but the academic level is very different.
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 6:55 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So I fully cover my hair, knees and elbows, and don't wear open toed shoes. We ask a rav about our shailas. My husband learns nightly and we try to live a Torah centric life.

But- we think secular education is important, would not mind our dd going to Stern or even a CUNY or SUNY when the time comes, because how can u support regular learning without a proper education and career? My husband wants to work and thinks the responsibility to support a family starts with the husband. Dd likes sesame street and princess Sophia. My husband does not wear a hat and does not keep a beard.

We live in Flatbush. I know some people who send to lev and prospect. One of the families I know from prospect are solidly frum, and the other one lives a lifestyle I'm not comfortable with, like clubbing, vacations with a few couples together, and then there's the outward appearance which IMO is borderline tzanua. Is it going to be like this in every school? Two families aren't exactly representative of the school overall, but it makes me question this whole hashkafa thing, like do families and schools even care and what do they look for? And if we're honest will that affect dd from getting in?

I don't want to send dd to a Chabad school. I want her to have friends in the area. And we're already different enough coming from OOT, I don't want a reason to make my daughter not fit in.

The application to lev contained the "BY hashkafa" letter which prompted this whole thread. I don't see myself looking any differently on the outside, but idk if the rest is the same or not.

Are there any other schools that might work?


A lot of lev is exactly like you are describing yourself so I wouldn't dwell on the BY hashkafa thing and go to an interview and see how it goes.
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Reality




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 7:17 pm
Lev and Prospect have a similar parent body. Currently, Lev is the more popular school so they have a larger follow the crowd ritzy element.

In my opinion, Prospect has stronger academics.

Another plus is the school isn't overtly anti the State of Israel like all the other BY schools in the area are.

I really feel you should consider Prospect. Don't discount them because one family you know leads a double life. There are families like that in every school.

Hatzlacha!
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:22 pm
amother [ Blush ] wrote:
This. I went to a ‘top’ yeshivish seminary super hard to get into. And my roommate was a genuine slut. She watched p*rn and did completely not Bais Yaakov stuff all year. Boone would even believe me if I said which seminary.

So I never take any school with any reputation at face value anymore.

Good luck!!


Well, well, well. people are people everywhere. People struggle with all kinds of things everywhere.
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amother




Blush


Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:28 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
Well, well, well. people are people everywhere. People struggle with all kinds of things everywhere.


Exactly my point. OP had heard that some people in parent body of prospect do some things she wouldn’t . My point is that you will have that everywhere. Can’t assume anything about anywhere.

All we can do is do our best to find what is the best fit. And be aware there most probably will be some imperfections in one area or another.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Nov 13 2019, 3:01 am
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
Well, well, well. people are people everywhere. People struggle with all kinds of things everywhere.


People struggle. I agree. But if she was going out and being physical and doing things with people she did NOT belong in a BY seminary.
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amother




Lavender


Post  Wed, Nov 13 2019, 9:01 am
Lev sounds like a very good fit for you.
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