Keeping a clean house without killing their creativity...

Bitachon123

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 3:18 am

So my kids (girls aged 4 and 6) don't just sit and play games. They have wild imaginations and love to turn there room upside down, creating tents/ weddings/ day camps/ zoos etc etc for there dolls and using every possible toy/linen/clothes/accessories/toilet paper/ *fill in the blank* in the process!!

After 30 mins playing in their room they could easily have emptied their whole wardrobe, all their dolls and toys any anything else in reach!! They actually are playing with everything, I dont think they're intentionally making a mess. They're extremely creative players, I do marvel at the amazing scenes they create.

Thing is it can take forever to clean it all up!! And they usually dont have the energy to finish!!

I already took away the majority of toys and books in hope it would help. I keep there linen and blankets locked away. They have tons of doll clothes but always want to use there clothes too. Do I lock there clothes cupboard? Pin their sheets to their beds? Take away their dolls?

On the one hand I love that they stay occupied for hours at a time and are using their creativity, but I HATE the mess it creates!! Wev'e tried incentives/ star charts/ stay in in their room till its clean but its just such a huge mess it seems to oerwhelm them!

Is this normal play? Would insiting on a clean and organised room crush there incredible imaginations? What would you do?

sped

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 3:39 am

I have this with mine too. Yes, it drives me mad! I work really hard at reminding then that it's all going to need to be put away. I sometimes have them tell me until what time they will play, and then we all clean it up together. It's a real challenge, but I can tell you that DS9 is KA"H at the top of his class in learning, and doing really well in Gemorah, which I attribute at least partially to his ability to imagine things and work things out in his mind, to the ability to apply rules to many things in different ways, which this play encourages.
I remember trying to explain to a neighbor why I can't 'do the "one toy at a time" rule when DS was about 3. (He's my first, and I didn't realize this stuff wasn't standard.) I described the Lag Baomer fire he made: First he needed Duplo to build the fire, then he needed Kapla to make the barriers around the fire. The he needed the "mentchies" to sing and dance, and he needed something else for the music and so on. I pointed out that I couldn't say no to any of these. My friend just looked at me and didn't say anything.
OTOH, I sometimes (not often) do limit what they take out and that leads to another kind of creativity. You have no idea what can be done with just Rummikub and chess.
I work with child development and often tell parents that this kind of play is what develops intelligence. Think carefully before you take this practice away from them or limit it. It's worth more than all the quiet, educational games out there.

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 3:54 am

I think you need to teach them how to clean. My kids are also massive mess-makers, but these cleaning tips have really helped:

- The "10 off" or "20 off" rule. Before snack/playing outside/dinner they must pick up and put away 10 or 20 or whatever number items.

- Assign kids a specific item. "Sarah, you put all of the shoes back in the room. Yes, JUST the shoes. Malkie, you take all of the wooden blocks and put them into the box." (If items are far from where they belong, you may want to give each kid a basket for this.)

- The 5-minute cleanup. Put on a timer, optionally fun music, and everyone (including you) cleans up for 5 minutes. (I usually bribe with watching a music video or a treat.) The rule I tell them is "easy things first!"

- Clarity. Make sure every item has a clear home, ideally one where they can be tossed (as opposed to lined up neatly on a shelf). This makes cleanup easier and faster.

- Relocate. I moved the toys out of the area where I wanted them and into the living room, where they were most often used anyhow. This really speeds cleanup.

- I spy. This is a game - you announce: "I spy... 3 Shabbos dresses!" and they must run and get them, and put them away before you announce the next item. (Other cleanup games are good too.)

It gets better with time, until then keep your camera handy and make sure YOUR room is off limits so you have a place of refuge!