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amother
OP
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 Sun, Nov 10 2019, 11:56 am
When DH and I were dating, it constantly annoyed me when he would take the Battery Tunnel. I grew up in an upper middle class family, but unless we were on our way to the hospital for a medical emergency, we would NEVER take the tunnel when there was a free alternative available, no matter how bad the traffic situation was. So even though it was DH's car and his money, it ran counter to everything I grew up with. DH - who grew up far from NY and despises NY traffic - would always smile and tell me that time is also money, and this is money well spent.
Now that we're B"H married, I've certainly learned that DH is his own person who works hard for his money, and is entitled to spend it however he sees fit, so I keep my mouth shut. And even for myself, I've learned that if traffic looks bad to the eye (or to Waze or 1010 WINS), it can be worth the "splurge" to take the tunnel.
I'm just curious what your attitude and approach is to the tunnel. Do you always take it, never take it, or only take it if you're in a rush or if traffic is a nightmare? Do you do one thing, and DH handles it differently, and does that cause any tension?
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tigerwife
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 11:59 am
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We are opposites. I thought DH was cheap for taking the tunnel. Today I appreciate his frugality but my attitude still is “Time is Galleons” for the most part.
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amother
Burgundy
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 12:21 pm
My parents always took the Battery - they were probably upper middle class, but at the same time wherever they needed to go in the city was more easily accessed by the Battery/FDR Drive than the bridge. And they saved some money with the EZ Pass.
DH grew up mostly taking the bridge, both because it was free AND because the parts of the city they went to usually were easily accessed by taking the bridge.
It's all a matter of what you want to spend your time and money on. Bridge traffic can be a killer.
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mommydearest654
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 12:25 pm
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it depends, I usually check waze to see how much longer the bridge will take. if it's crazy traffic or over 15 min longer, we take the tunnel. time is more precious then saving money. especially when your in a rush
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amother
Pearl
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 12:27 pm
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Our defaults is bridge. Same upbringing as you. Husband agrees. I imagine you and your husband conflict in other financial quandaries too though, right?
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mommydearest654
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 12:28 pm
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it depends, I usually check waze to see how much longer the bridge will take. if it's crazy traffic or over 15 min longer, we take the tunnel. time is more precious then saving money. especially when your in a rush
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amother
Indigo
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 12:32 pm
Think about something that you need/strongly prefer to do, even though it's the more expensive choice. That's how he feels about the tunnel. I suggest respecting his choice and leaving it alone.
Do I take the tunnel? No. Because I am highly claustrophobic.
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amother
Lime
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 12:54 pm
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I'm in northern NJ, and am part of a carpool between towns. When one new driver started bringing the kids home twenty minutes later than everyone else, we figured out that she took the free Route 17 and other local roads rather than paying for the Garden State Parkway. It was very a very complicated discussion- she prioritized money and the rest of us prioritized time. We ended up deciding that the rest of us would subsidize her tolls.
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Cheiny
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 12:55 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | When DH and I were dating, it constantly annoyed me when he would take the Battery Tunnel. I grew up in an upper middle class family, but unless we were on our way to the hospital for a medical emergency, we would NEVER take the tunnel when there was a free alternative available, no matter how bad the traffic situation was. So even though it was DH's car and his money, it ran counter to everything I grew up with. DH - who grew up far from NY and despises NY traffic - would always smile and tell me that time is also money, and this is money well spent.
Now that we're B"H married, I've certainly learned that DH is his own person who works hard for his money, and is entitled to spend it however he sees fit, so I keep my mouth shut. And even for myself, I've learned that if traffic looks bad to the eye (or to Waze or 1010 WINS), it can be worth the "splurge" to take the tunnel.
I'm just curious what your attitude and approach is to the tunnel. Do you always take it, never take it, or only take it if you're in a rush or if traffic is a nightmare? Do you do one thing, and DH handles it differently, and does that cause any tension? |
You have to weight the benefits vs. the cost. If you’ve got time to spare and don’t get stressed out by sitting in traffic for who knows how long, you can justify not taking the tunnel. Most times I choose the tunnel because the time and stress just are not worth it.
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watergirl
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 1:12 pm
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I just googled. Its less than $6. How often do you take the tunnel?
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amother
Cyan
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 2:00 pm
I'm the type who gets annoyed at taking the more expensive option when a cheaper option is available. It has led to many shalom bayis scenes over the years. I've learned to let things go. It's not worth the fuss. Think of the value of your shalom bayis and mental health.
I don't live in NY but I come in about once every two months. I've taken the tunnel a few times when I just followed waze blindly without paying attention. It bothered me but wasn't worth getting worked up over.
I want to add. I used to work in Staten Island and lived in Brooklyn. I could either take a city bus over the verazzano and then two subways, or a coach bus into manhattan and then an express subway home. I used to take the coach bus on Fridays and it was one of the highlights of my week, to be able to relax and sleep on the way from SI to manhattan. It was well worth the extra $$.
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Reality
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 2:09 pm
I grew up using the tunnel and my husband uses the tunnel. I have no idea if his parents used the tunnel or not.
You know sitting in traffic can eat up plenty of gas$$$$? So not worth the time and money!
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amother
Royalblue
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 2:29 pm
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I'm a miser and look for the cheapest alternative, but sitting in traffic eats gas and puts wear and tear on the car as well as the driver and passengers. If a toll road is direct, clear, and will get me there on time while a free road is congested, out of the way and will make me late, I'm taking the toll road. But is there ever a situation in which the tunnel is clean as a whistle when all other roads are clogged? I hate taking the Williamsburg bridge in either direction, you end up snarled in crooked local streets and waste so much time just finding your way back to the straight and narrow. Brooklyn Bridge is moderately better but not much.
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zaq
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 2:35 pm
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Your dh is an adult who earns his own money. He's entitled to take the route he prefers unless his taking the tunnel is taking bread out of your children's mouths. Do you never buy takeout or prepared foods? Do you always wash and set your own sheitel? Bake all your own bread and mezonos? Make all your own greeting cards? Do you never buy prewashed, prechecked or precut salads? For that matter, you own a car. That's costly in NYC. Why are you not using mass transit?
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zaq
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 2:37 pm
| tigerwife wrote: | | “Time is Galleons” . |
What on earth does that mean?
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nicole81
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 3:15 pm
I grew up very poor and we still only ever took the tunnel (in the years we even had a car). My mom was a ft working single mother, so I'm sure her time was very much worth more than the expense.
I hate traffic and I'd rather park and take the train into Manhattan. But if I had to choose between the two, I'd take the tunnel each time. The $6 isn't worth the unpleasantness of sitting in traffic and the further reduction of any leisure time I might be able to have!
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seeker
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 4:39 pm
| zaq wrote: | | What on earth does that mean? |
"Time is money, lots of money, and my brain is in permanent Harry Potter mode."
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HonesttoGod
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 4:40 pm
If there’s traffic and waze directs me to the tunnel I use it. I don’t know manhattan well enough to make my own route around traffic.
That said the Verrazano is more expensive and we use it often. It’s part of car expenses.
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seeker
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 4:42 pm
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As for the tunnel, I'll take it only if there's a significant difference in ETA. Usually according to Waze/Google there isn't. If I'm running late somewhere to the extent that 2 minutes could matter, and the prediction is that I'll save 2 minutes, I'll do it. But usually there just isn't a difference. When there's traffic, it's everywhere.
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amother
Babyblue
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Sun, Nov 10 2019, 4:54 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | When DH and I were dating, it constantly annoyed me when he would take the Battery Tunnel. I grew up in an upper middle class family, but unless we were on our way to the hospital for a medical emergency, we would NEVER take the tunnel when there was a free alternative available, no matter how bad the traffic situation was. So even though it was DH's car and his money, it ran counter to everything I grew up with. DH - who grew up far from NY and despises NY traffic - would always smile and tell me that time is also money, and this is money well spent. |
Seriously, counter to everything you grew up with?! Oh my!
Next import shidduch question, are you bridge or tunnel person? This might be a red flag,
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