What would you do about this sheitelmacher?

amother

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 4:53 pm

I've been dealing for months with a dishonest ("white lies") and VERY disorganized sheitelmacher. Short version: I agreed to buy a sheitel from her, but she told me one price -- she was in a huge hurry at the time -- and now is saying she would never have a sheitel that cheap and the price is actually $1000 higher. Between those 2 occurrences, she did an alteration on the sheitel, and now she is telling me that because she altered it, she can't sell it to anyone else, and I have to pay the "new" price.

She swears up and down the new price is correct and moreover that she already paid it to the company out of her own pocket. She refuses, however, to provide proof of any of this.

She still has the sheitel, which I don't want AT ALL anymore. It has been so impossible dealing with her and she continues to tell lie after lie, which she thinks we don't notice. Both my husband and I are over it and we want to move on.

Our rav says we don't owe her a dime, and it appears the civil law (l'havdil) would agree. ...My husband tells me I should just ignore her. But I feel I should tell her that/why I am not
going to be buying this sheitel from her after all.
She is honestly so disorganized and has such a poor memory that I think she truly believes she is in the right and that I have stolen from her. (I am also scared she'll take me to civil court, which she does A LOT.)

Should I say something to her to end this? What??

naturalmom5

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 6:05 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Listen to your Rov
Don't let her take advantage of your gutskeit

Tzutzie

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 6:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

SNIP
She is honestly so disorganized and has such a poor memory that I think she truly believes she is in the right and that I have stolen from her. (I am also scared she'll take me to civil court, which she does A LOT.)

Should I say something to her to end this? What??

Sounds like this isn't a one time issue but a recurrent theme.
I would not pay and drop the whole sheitel.
I had soemthing similar.
I was told $750 then when I came to cut it afterwards she tells me no its 1k.
Never mind that $750 I had saved up over a year. The $250 on our very tight budget totally threw us off course. I should have stood my ground but I shelled out the cash....
Oh, and she did a horrible job cutting it. I had it recut by someone else shortly thereafter. I didn't got back to her after that.

amother

Coffee

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 6:35 pm

Something similar happened to me
I made an appointment to see some Sheitels.
I didn’t like them and they were out of my budget and not what I was looking for at all.
This were when I was a kallah

As I was leaving she told me that she cut them just for me (she knew who I was).
She even went as far as to say that I should fund raise the money for these sheitels.

I just ignored her and left.
My advise just ignore her.
Don’t answer her.
If she takes you to court you can claim that the court should check how many times she’s done this before, and that you believe this is fraud.

amother

Natural

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 8:50 pm

When I was a kallah I put down a large deposit on a shaitel at a famous expensive shaitel macher. She told me to come back closer to the wedding to have it cut. I went back shortly before my wedding and- oops. She had sold the wig that I had put a deposit on to someone else. Yup. And she refused to give me my deposit back. She showed me two wigs that she had in her showroom that were sort of similar but actually nowhere near as nice, for the same price of course. Being right before my wedding and out a bunch of money, I just agreed to one of them. It was horrible, I hated it and barely wore it until I finally sold it on consignment. Anyway, I'm sorry op. There are unfortunately so many dishonest "frum" women running these operations. If I were you I would walk away. She really has nothing on you in civil court.

amother

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 11:04 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Listen to your Rav. I know of a gown store that did this. Just walk away.

Should I tell her I'm walking away? Or just disappear?

I'm worried it looks shady if I just disappear. Every time I read one of her texts about how I owe her tons of money that I haven't paid, I feel like I really am a deadbeat. I like to avoid feeling that way as a matter of course

amother

Brown

Sun, Nov 10 2019, 11:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have a feeling I know who this is, I had a similar problem. Does her name start with an S? She made me a pay her a high deposit in advance for a full custom sheitel and guaranteed me I didn’t have to take it if it didn’t fit, and she would return my deposit, well it didn’t fit and the she denied telling me she’d return my deposit if it didn’t fit. So I stopped the check and she took me to court. I won.

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 1:03 am

I would respond that I'm sorry you feel I owe you money, I explained the situation to my rav and he said I don't. I am not interested in buying from you after your disorganization led to lies. I also spoke to an attorney who said you don't have a claim and even if you took me to court the attorney would show them your track record of taking people to court and you will look like a fraud and will not succeed. Again I am sorry we are in this situation but if things were honest etc etc we would not be in this situation. Please don't contact me in the future.

I would prob text it although I'd be very careful what you write in case she does go to court. it's probably better to say over the phone so theres no record but personally I'd be nervous I'd get into an argument over the phone and would send a text anyway

ra_mom

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 5:59 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Just block her number. No need to get into it with her. Liers have a way of manipulating people and sucking them back in. Don't write anything. Right now she has nothing to take you to court on. Don't give her anything.

WhatFor

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 6:45 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I wouldn't disappear without asserting myself just because it could reflect poorly on you. But I would definitely not apologize or try to justify. Just something to the effect of:

I will not be conned into paying y when the price we agreed on was x. I was happy to honor our agreement but by denying our original agreement exists, you have invalidated it. In attempting to bait and switch on our deal, you have demonstrated that you are a dishonest business person. I will not be doing business with you anymore. Please stop contacting me.

userfriendly

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 7:05 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You have to know yourself. If you can stand your ground (which I 100% think you should) then I would let her know exactly what happened and that you went to Das Torah who told you you don’t owe her anything. Make sure everything you communicate is written!! If she takes people to court a lot you want to have proof. Also just remember this would be small claims court (I’m assuming your in the US) so you wouldn’t need to hire a lawyer and all that... just have all communications between both of you written and keep them.
I do understand avoiding her is making you uncomfortable and it does make you look guilty since you are just disappearing. But don’t start responding to her if you feel that you couldn’t stand up to her.
I’m sorry your going through this.