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When the girls are off from school and the boys are not

 
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 8:39 am
My son drives me crazy every Sunday that it's not fair that his sisters don't have school every Sunday.
Today, the girls are off as well and he was trying to find a way to stay home since last night ( everything hurts!!!!).

I actually really feel bad for him, it's so unfair.
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sub




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:01 am
And what would happen if he stayed home?
Can you pick him up early today?
Boys do have less days off and sometimes they need a break.


Last edited by sub on Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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meme6




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:07 am
Why don’t you give him a day off as a treat when the girls are in school? I’ve done it a lot
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amother




Forestgreen


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:10 am
I'm not sure I'd give a day off as a treat since it sends a bad message, I may give a day off when I feel he needs a break but not a reward. Instead I would try making it a big deal that he's learning Torah even though it's hard. Let him take an extra treat as a snack, let him choose what supper is, give him an extra privilege at home like late bedtime etc.
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:11 am
meme6 wrote:
Why don’t you give him a day off as a treat when the girls are in school? I’ve done it a lot


I told him he can stay home one Friday, but he said that's such a short day , it's not fair. I work Monday through Thursday, so I can't just keep him home on a weekday. I couldn't keep him home today because my girls are going to friends ( I work today).
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meme6




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:13 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I told him he can stay home one Friday, but he said that's such a short day , it's not fair. I work Monday through Thursday, so I can't just keep him home on a weekday. I couldn't keep him home today because my girls are going to friends ( I work today).


Fully understand! I would say he can take off Friday and it’s a real treat but explain to him when girls are off it’s no fun cause they ain’t home.
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meme6




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:14 am
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
I'm not sure I'd give a day off as a treat since it sends a bad message, I may give a day off when I feel he needs a break but not a reward. Instead I would try making it a big deal that he's learning Torah even though it's hard. Let him take an extra treat as a snack, let him choose what supper is, give him an extra privilege at home like late bedtime etc.


Why is it a bad message? I think it’s important for all genders and I give the day off before needing it because when they need it it’s to late at times! It’s basically one day a year not more!
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ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:14 am
Randomly keep him home for a Friday or Sunday. Do something special and let him know it's just for him because you love him, as those days are usually just chore days.
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:15 am
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
I'm not sure I'd give a day off as a treat since it sends a bad message, I may give a day off when I feel he needs a break but not a reward. Instead I would try making it a big deal that he's learning Torah even though it's hard. Let him take an extra treat as a snack, let him choose what supper is, give him an extra privilege at home like late bedtime etc.


Lol I actually tried all your suggestions. The learning Torah reason did not go well, he just got angrier. Extra snack he refused because as part of "everything hurts" , he also didn't have an appetite. He agreed to pizza for supper and staying up late, but I hate the whole situation of having to promise him things in order to go to school.
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amother




Chartreuse


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 9:20 am
I drive my boys every Sunday and we stop and pick up bagels, muffins and chocolate milk/hot cocoa on our way. It's something a little bit special just for the boys.
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dankbar




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 11:13 am
Boys have their special times.

uvos ubonim programs.

bake a special treat for him for his siyums at cheder.

Make a shabbos party in afternoon for some other boys when he makes a siyum at home.

Do some special stuff only for boys sometimes
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 12:10 pm
Unfair? May I list all the things they can do we can't? and all the things we can do they can't?
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amother




Goldenrod


Post  Mon, Nov 11 2019, 1:02 pm
amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:
I drive my boys every Sunday and we stop and pick up bagels, muffins and chocolate milk/hot cocoa on our way. It's something a little bit special just for the boys.


This find something special for them.

My boys do shneim Mikrah (to their level) and we go out for an early pre-school breakfast. Just them. We never go out to eat so it’s really special boy time.
I also do the early morning muffin of hot cocoa sometimes when driving them.

And I bought really nice coffee mugs and we prepare hot cocoa in them in morning.
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