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Letting dd watch in the mornings..

 
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amother




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Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:45 am
Dh and I work very hard and have very tight schedules. Im very dependent on my sleep, when I dont get enough sleep I fall apart and when I do I feel like I can conquer the world. I know this about myself for a very long time already so I make sure to be in bed by 11 every night and sleeping by 11:15. I work nights at home and only finish between 9:30-10 so being asleep any earlier is nearly impossible. I wake up well rested between 6:45-7:15 everyday. Lately my 5 y.o dd has been waking up at 5:30-6ish everyday after going to sleep at 730 and not falling asleep till 8. Im not sure whats going on with her but she has gone thru these stages before and eventually the lack of sleep catches up with her and she will start sleeping a little bit later again. Every morning when she wakes up its a struggle to get up with her and dh knows this and keeps offering her the ipad. Her school has rules about watching and I anyway think its so bad for her brain to be watching garbage in the morning before school. Today she came into our room at 5:50 and I pulled myself out of bed exhausted and I got her a drink and a toy and I went down to make a coffee and apparently she went into my room looking for me and didnt see me and started crying loudly. Dh got so angry at me when I came upstairs. He said he needs his sleep (hes finishings up his doctorate and studies late every single night) and im so stubborn why cant I just let her watch and the 2 of us will be able to get the sleep we need and wont risk the whole house being woken up by her. Im really torn. Im so tired right now I feel like I need caffeine IV. We are all falling apart at the seams bec of dd crazy sleep habits but it seems like the only solution isnt really a solution.
P.s before we signed dd school agreement about watching dh called his rabbi and read it to him and he said im not signing this if it means that letting my kids watch occasionally is against school rules and his rabbi said the wording is vague enough you can sign but just use you brain so ur daughter isnt talking about her TV shows during school. (Obv this is only half the issue, I dont want hetlr watching regardless of the school rule)
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:57 am
I totally commiserate. I always prided myself on not letting dd watch too much, only on very rare occasions. (Even though in my circles, most kids do watch somewhat) but in the past few months Ive done a reversal and the mornings are a major issue.

My baby gets up during the night to eat and then needs me to feed another bottle in the morning (hes young enough that I need to sit with him for 30 minutes as he finishes 4-6 oz). DD (3) is up btwn 6 and 7 am. This is fine, but what is not fine is she NEEDS me to be with her, occupying her, playing with her until she leaves at 8:30. I cant be present with her AND feed the infant, and get myself dressed and do my makeup (non negotiable for me). SO I let her watch for 30 minutes so I can tend to myself and baby.

Now, even mornings where I get ready speedily and baby is sleeping or something she requests the video because she sees it as her routine now. I dont want to give it up because I need my own prep time to look presentable.

SO I feel you. Would you feel better giving her electronic game to play with on the ipad instead of watching (We dont have that but I see some kids that age do. I wonder which is "better," ipad games or watching videos)
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:02 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
I totally commiserate.

SO I feel you. Would you feel better giving her electronic game to play with on the ipad instead of watching (We dont have that but I see some kids that age do. I wonder which is "better," ipad games or watching videos)


Ty for this post! It makes me feel better than others can relate! She does have games on the ipad. Maybe it makes me feel slighty better but its a zone that she gets pulled into that consumes her. Thats what I dont like..
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:05 pm
Just keep in mind it will be a very hard habit to break if you do let her watch in the mornings.
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ra_mom




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:10 pm
I totally relate! But it's really not a good idea for her to get in the habit of this on school days. Reserve it for Sunday morning.
The time change is hard. Work out a plan tp put her to sleep 15 minutes later for 2 nights, then 2 nights 30 minutes later. Keep to a schedule even on the weekend to get her body used to it.
Lay out paper and crayons on the kitchen table the night before along with a bowl of cereal and tell her there is a covered cup of milk ready for her in the fridge. Talk to her about how big she is and if she can try to enjoy her time in the morning and come to you when she sees the clock has reached x o'clock.
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:14 pm
There is educational software that feels like a game for children so why not install some of those on the iPad.

It is really amazing how much kids enjoy learning when it is disguised as a game. I remember gifting a well reviewed game to my friend's daughters that was supposed to teach logic and math skills and they were obsessed with it.

There are also shows on PBS that are educational which kids enjoy very much. Just because it is audio visual doesn't mean that it is terrible. Of course a young brain also needs to develop by using other forms of media like books and real life, but well curated audio visual games and programs are not terrible especially in small well regulated doses.
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lucky14




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:17 pm
My son was allowed some "screen time" in the morning once he was all finished breakfast. that gave me time to get myself ready. Sometimes I would dress him while he watched. Sometimes his allotted time would be over before it was time to get dressed. If he made a fuss about not being able to watch it anymore or I saw that it was making the morning morings more difficult then the consequence would be no watching anything the next day.
For a child who can get themselves dressed I would say they could only watch once they were all ready.
This year we don't have as much time in the morning so he really hasn't been watching much at all.
Honestly I think the biggest issue is that your school says no. I think you have to figure out if that's really something you want to be doing.
Ask your husband to brainstorm with you- is there anything else you guys could think of to keep her busy? Art projects? Fun special 'morning' books? Stuff she can do on her own but that will be special for the morning only to keep her interested.
Oh and another thing... One of us was always in the room with him while he was watching anything. I feel like that makes a difference because we were interacting with him a bit (though that doesn't help if the reason you husband wants to allow her is to be able to sleep).
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amother




Jetblack
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:29 pm
My ds (5) listens to music/stories on his CD player and plays Lego in the morning. He gets up between 6-6:30 and entertains himself until dh or I wake up, 6:45.

Can you get your daughter special dollhouse or playmobil or something else that'll keep her busy every morning for a while?
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:40 pm
I used to think watching was all or nothing. I have learned as my kids get older that there is a lot of grey area. I am at a point with my 5 year old that the only options are 1) Jewish videos. He loves mordechai shapiro 2) elmo and 3) blippi. I am strongly considering getting a subscription to the Torah treasures app later in the year. I saw some clips of the videos and was really impressed.

2) There is an awesome app called jewishmusic.fm and you can stream all of the shmuel kunda stories and songs. For my older son there are stories like yitzi erps, mayer erps, Rebee hill, Rebbe Alter. Its all free. He likes to listen to them when he goes to bed.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 1:53 pm
mha3484 wrote:
I used to think watching was all or nothing. I have learned as my kids get older that there is a lot of grey area. I am at a point with my 5 year old that the only options are 1) Jewish videos. He loves mordechai shapiro 2) elmo and 3) blippi. I am strongly considering getting a subscription to the Torah treasures app later in the year. I saw some clips of the videos and was really impressed.

2) There is an awesome app called jewishmusic.fm and you can stream all of the shmuel kunda stories and songs. For my older son there are stories like yitzi erps, mayer erps, Rebee hill, Rebbe Alter. Its all free. He likes to listen to them when he goes to bed.


Thank you so much I will definitely download that app for her! She loves stories. Im laughing bec her absolute favorite thing to watch is blippi. Last week I left her with paper and markers and I was cooking dinner. I come back to check on her and I see she wrote B-L-I-P-P-I on a paper. Shes in kindergarten and didnt learn alphabet yet. My eyes almost came out of my face. But it just cemented in my mind how much what she watches sticks with her...

Eta- thank you! Just downloaded the app. It has all my favorite childhood tapes. Im so excited to share it with her Very Happy
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 2:03 pm
I'm guessing the clock change is what threw off her schedule. My kids have been getting up way too early too. Unfortunately it doesn't always settle down until the clock changes back TMI

I second the idea of listening to a Jewish story. There are some on Amazon music, and I also use the jewishmusic.fm app on my phone to stream stories. My kids sit quietly and listen, it's a really nice morning and evening activity.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 2:10 pm
Never prided myself on something like that, even when my toddlers just could NOT watch a full movie. We grew up with films, right?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 2:15 pm
At that age my DD loved her LeapPad. The learning games on there were so much fun, she didn't even mind the math ones. They are really well done by education professionals. DS4 makes good educational games, too.

I babysit for a 3 year old girl who doesn't get any screen time at all, unless she has lice. Her hair is super thick, tangly, and curly, and having something to watch on an iPad is the only way to make her sit still for an hour of combing.

She is a very smart little girl. Now when she's bored, she comes whining to her dad (the big softie) and starts scratching her head. She's figured out that if she can fake having lice, that can buy her another hour of screen time!

Apparently Care Bears are like crack. Very Happy
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ora_43




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 2:26 pm
Ten hours of sleep is enough for a lot of 5-year-olds. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news and all, and hey, it could be your dd really is just going through a phase. But do keep in mind that long-term - by which I mean, even within the next couple years - having her sleep from 8pm to after 6am is not going to be realistic.

The bad news and good news -
Bad news is, there's no ideal solution. There is no magic way to make a kid sleep more, or entertain herself quietly, or for parents to feel good without enough sleep.

The good news is, it doesn't sound like any of your options are really all that terrible. She could watch TV or play games for around an hour. Not great, but it's not a harmful level of screen time, and like a few people have said there's plenty of stuff that's actually educational. You could keep her up later at night temporarily - not great since it interferes with your and your husband's work/studying, but maybe she'd find it easier to entertain herself quietly at night than she does in the morning.

And whatever you do, your dh is finishing his PhD sometime in the (near?) future, and then you'll have more flexibility and can rethink the arrangement if it's not working for you. Getting kids off of ipads is a loooot harder than letting them start, but it's not impossible.
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amother




Apricot
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 2:37 pm
I disagree. No judgement but I donโ€™t think starting the day by watching is good for their brains (or their mood, when itโ€™s time to
Turn it off) I personally donโ€™t think itโ€™s safe to have a child that age awake with no adults awake. Sorry. I think when the child wakes, parents wake. Child can color or do puzzles.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 7:27 pm
What a crazy day. I fell asleep on the playroom couch while my kids played (and were destructive etc...) from 5:15-6:00 bec I literally could not keep my eyes open. I just finished getting everyone into bed. Im having a coffee and then starting work. Everything aches. Just because of how poorly today went im thinking to start with stories tomorrow morning but if she isnt cooperating im going to have to offer her some game on the ipad ... any recomendations?
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Nov 13 2019, 9:41 am
If the kid is big enough to be in a kid bed, there's no reason you can't get some much needed rest.
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