Does anybody else hate parenting

amother

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 4:37 pm

I've read every book. I hate having kids. I'm sure in an alternate universe I wouldn't have gotten married at all. They're almost 3 and a few months and I just hate parenting. Help

amother

Azure

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 4:48 pm

When my kids were small I was miserable too. I found it pure drudgery and got no joy out of it. So I kept my family small and lo and behold, now that they are almost adults it’s much better
So hang in there and don’t do anything that will make you miserable ( like have more kids even though you don‘t want more)
You might find that you just hate parenting babies and toddlers
But I completely understand you

Jewishfoodie

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 4:51 pm

They are actually the reason I wake up every morning.

(they call me pretty early and it wakes me up... Very Happy

)

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 4:55 pm

It's very likely that you don't connect with infants and toddlers, but will enjoy older kids. I would still encourage you to find some activities that both you and your kids will enjoy. Sharing those experiences can make parenting more enjoyable, at least for the moment.

amother

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 5:17 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

They are actually the reason I wake up every morning.

(they call me pretty early and it wakes me up... Very Happy

)

. Haha OK I smiled
Thanks for validation. I def hate the first year. And much of the second. I think around 18 months it was OK but now we're finally hitting the terrible twos (in the last 3 months of being 2) and just ugh.
I have two. Dh wants 10 but like idk if I can even survive.

amother

Peach

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 5:22 pm

This is me!! Seriously feel the exact same way!
I have one and I just really dislike parenting. I love being a mom and my kid is adorable but like the whole headaches that come with it just isnt for me.
DH keeps asking for more and I tell him I don't enjoy one why would I have more but he's getting increasingly frustrated, which makes me frustrated.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 5:22 pm

When I had only little kids my days were a blur and I thought I'm never gonna have more. I took a very long break and now my kids are older and I had a baby bh. It's an entire different experience. They're so involved, it's so nice bh. I'm not saying that it's easy but it's easier than having only little ones.
So give yourself afew years to enjoy your kids as they're growing up and think about more later.

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 5:27 pm

Honestly, no. Your post makes me very sad. This is your nisayon and I hope you have success in working through it

#BestBubby

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 5:31 pm

I don't understand this at all.

I understand not enjoying child care, especially babies.

But how could someone seriously want no husband and no children?

That is what gives life meaning.

Turquoise

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 5:36 pm

Can you speak to someone in IRL for validation but also for direction
These years are really crucial for their emotional well-being for the rest of their life
And subconsciously even if you don't mean to this can affect them.
Please reach out to someone that you can get empathy but also tips on how to change how you feel
Good luck!

amother

Smokey

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 6:07 pm

I love babies and I love my kids
But I hate parenting ,I just don’t have patience .

amother

Gold

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 6:15 pm

I'm holding my nose and waiting for them to grow up. I am looking forward to the days when all of them will be off to school and I can just do whatever I want, whenever I want.

If I would've been more self aware before getting married, I would definitely not get married and not have kids. There are so many things a person can do and derive satisfaction and happiness from. It doesn't have to come from kids and marriage .

amother

Brown

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 6:18 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I've read every book. I hate having kids. I'm sure in an alternate universe I wouldn't have gotten married at all. They're almost 3 and a few months and I just hate parenting. Help

You hate having kids? I hope your kids never hear that although I’m sure you convey the message to them without words. That’s horrible. I think you should get therapy immediately. Oh and I hope you’re on bc.

amother

Brown

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 6:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Tell him you hate having kids and if he still wants to he needs therapy too

Cheiny

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 6:20 pm

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

I’m stunned by these feelings and op’s. My kids are the greatest blessings from Hashem. I would hope every parent would feel the same, even through the difficult times.

amother

Lilac

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 6:24 pm

I would rule out postpartum depression, one of the symptoms is hating taking care of your kids.

pizza4

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 6:26 pm

OP perhaps it's time to a: find another parenting strategy that might work better for you and b: find yourself an outlet so you get filled from things you enjoy, parenting might not feel that bad.
As they get older, some people find they relate better to their kids and can enjoy them. Not everyone loves the baby and toddler stage.