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DD age 10. very emotional.

 
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 9:30 pm
Let me preface this post by saying, I don't have an overly happy family. I have 3 children including my 10 yr old DD. My other 2 children are on medication for anxiety and depression. BH, it works for them. But there have been months for each child, leading up to the moment that medication was felt necessary. My DH should be on medication. He is always grumpy, complaining. Always escaping on his phone or videos. And then there is me. I'm on medication also and I think I function pretty well. But I have my moments especially when everyone is in a mood altogether. I keep the ship sailing as it were. I'm not terribly satisfied at all with my marriage or family status. I feel sometimes like I'm hanging on to a soggy life-preserver instead.

My 10 yr old DD has been gradually becoming moodier and moodier. Happy and content one minute and then the next she is complaining, whining. She is the youngest of our kids. Her DB who is 2 yrs older than her does not like her and goes out of his way to avoid her or insult her. She throws it back at him. She is critical of him and knows exactly how to get under his skin. My older DD is on good terms with her most of the time except when she is moody also.

This year, my DD has been very moody. She has been anxious. She got in a fight with her DB during the holidays and then afterwards she became very upset and wanted to kill herself, CV'S. She made an attempt to hang herself but we were right there and somehow I knew exactly what she meant to do when she took a tie of my DHs. She was hysterical crying. My DH wanted to take her to the ER but I didn't. I didn't think she meant it and just wanted attention. She wanted us to see. She was crying for help in my opinion. Eventually she calmed down but she knew since then that we have been watching her very closely.

She has been seeing a therapist who told us that if she tries it again, take her to the psych hospital right away. the psych hospital is a horrible place and only if I thought my DD truly needed to be in a psych ward, would I take her.

The therapist told her all about the psych hospital and made it sound very unappealing to my DD. My DD was previously saying she'd rather be in the psych hospital then with our "crazy" family. My DD tries to find things to say that will hurt us or make us worry, when she is in a bad or sad mood. When she is in a good mood, she is loving and happy.

But after the therapist explained how it really was in the psych hospital, my DD stopped saying those things, almost. She seemed to be doing better in general but will have moments of disappointment or frustration which will lead to her crying or screaming sometimes. And she writes in her diary morbid things when she is like this like "I am ugly", "I'm fat". "I hate myself". Until yesterday. We had just come back from a therapy appointment with her and she wanted to go buy some dolls and clothing. She constantly is asking to go to the store and buy this or that. Every week it's something new that she wants. I explained to her that no, she has plenty of dolls and clothing. We are not buying anything new right now.

She got angry at me and for the rest of the night and was defiant and rude. Yelling and screaming. I went into her room later and found she had tied a bathrobe belt into a loop on the railing on her bed and left it for me to see.

My other DD later found a diary entry (obviously laid out in the open) from yesterday that said she wanted to kill herself. Today, my 10 yr old DD is fine. Happy, cooperative.

I haven't spoken with the therapist about this because I feel it's my DD punishing me for saying "no". I don't want to take my DD to the psych ER for this. She wold be terrified for one and she would also meet kids who really do have serious, really underlying issues.

On the other hand, I feel my DD gets benefit from saying these things because she will suddenly get more attention. I feel she manipulates and we have spoiled her. We've given in too many times when we should have held our ground. She has seen her older siblings and what they've done or said in the past and she has learned from them. BH, they are doing much better.

My DD doesn't have a psychiatrist. Just a therapist. I'm not sure the therapist has made a connection or holds any weight with my daughter. They have only seen each other 3 times.

I'm conflicted, worried, anxious, tired.

I guess I'm writing this very long post as a cathartic.
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amother




Mistyrose


Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 10:42 pm
Have you considered family therapy
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Surrendered




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:13 pm
OP, if you feel comfortable you can PM me, my 10 yo DS has the same issues. I know your feeling of despair and confusion.
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hotzenplotz




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:35 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Let me preface this post by saying, I don't have an overly happy family. I have 3 children including my 10 yr old DD. My other 2 children are on medication for anxiety and depression. BH, it works for them. But there have been months for each child, leading up to the moment that medication was felt necessary. My DH should be on medication. He is always grumpy, complaining. Always escaping on his phone or videos. And then there is me. I'm on medication also and I think I function pretty well. But I have my moments especially when everyone is in a mood altogether. I keep the ship sailing as it were. I'm not terribly satisfied at all with my marriage or family status. I feel sometimes like I'm hanging on to a soggy life-preserver instead.

My 10 yr old DD has been gradually becoming moodier and moodier. Happy and content one minute and then the next she is complaining, whining. She is the youngest of our kids. Her DB who is 2 yrs older than her does not like her and goes out of his way to avoid her or insult her. She throws it back at him. She is critical of him and knows exactly how to get under his skin. My older DD is on good terms with her most of the time except when she is moody also.

This year, my DD has been very moody. She has been anxious. She got in a fight with her DB during the holidays and then afterwards she became very upset and wanted to kill herself, CV'S. She made an attempt to hang herself but we were right there and somehow I knew exactly what she meant to do when she took a tie of my DHs. She was hysterical crying. My DH wanted to take her to the ER but I didn't. I didn't think she meant it and just wanted attention. She wanted us to see. She was crying for help in my opinion. Eventually she calmed down but she knew since then that we have been watching her very closely.

She has been seeing a therapist who told us that if she tries it again, take her to the psych hospital right away. the psych hospital is a horrible place and only if I thought my DD truly needed to be in a psych ward, would I take her.

The therapist told her all about the psych hospital and made it sound very unappealing to my DD. My DD was previously saying she'd rather be in the psych hospital then with our "crazy" family. My DD tries to find things to say that will hurt us or make us worry, when she is in a bad or sad mood. When she is in a good mood, she is loving and happy.

But after the therapist explained how it really was in the psych hospital, my DD stopped saying those things, almost. She seemed to be doing better in general but will have moments of disappointment or frustration which will lead to her crying or screaming sometimes. And she writes in her diary morbid things when she is like this like "I am ugly", "I'm fat". "I hate myself". Until yesterday. We had just come back from a therapy appointment with her and she wanted to go buy some dolls and clothing. She constantly is asking to go to the store and buy this or that. Every week it's something new that she wants. I explained to her that no, she has plenty of dolls and clothing. We are not buying anything new right now.

She got angry at me and for the rest of the night and was defiant and rude. Yelling and screaming. I went into her room later and found she had tied a bathrobe belt into a loop on the railing on her bed and left it for me to see.

My other DD later found a diary entry (obviously laid out in the open) from yesterday that said she wanted to kill herself. Today, my 10 yr old DD is fine. Happy, cooperative.

I haven't spoken with the therapist about this because I feel it's my DD punishing me for saying "no". I don't want to take my DD to the psych ER for this. She wold be terrified for one and she would also meet kids who really do have serious, really underlying issues.

On the other hand, I feel my DD gets benefit from saying these things because she will suddenly get more attention. I feel she manipulates and we have spoiled her. We've given in too many times when we should have held our ground. She has seen her older siblings and what they've done or said in the past and she has learned from them. BH, they are doing much better.

My DD doesn't have a psychiatrist. Just a therapist. I'm not sure the therapist has made a connection or holds any weight with my daughter. They have only seen each other 3 times.

I'm conflicted, worried, anxious, tired.

I guess I'm writing this very long post as a cathartic.


I may have something that could help your DD.
please pm me.
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