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browser


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Mon, Nov 18 2019, 4:11 pm
I think he gave you the answer. Hashem does not allow this behavior. I really suggest you be very strict about it and not let him get away with this. It can be very damaging to both him and the other child
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Librarian


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Mon, Nov 18 2019, 4:49 pm
It's wonderful you are taking this seriously. Not everyone would. Kudos to you!
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Cheiny


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Mon, Nov 18 2019, 4:55 pm
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote: | Please please involve the principal in this. Bullying on the bus is the worst and should not be tolerated.
DD was bullied on the bus one year, I'll never forget it. Bh we involved the principal and she enforced strict policies. A kid who bullies may not ride the bus. |
Tell him that Hashem does not allow making fun of other people, and additionally that your son made a chillul Hashem by doing so in front of the bus driver! You should definitely give him a consequence he won’t enjoy to make him remember it the next time he contemplates behaving that way.
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little neshamala


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Mon, Nov 18 2019, 5:19 pm
Agree with the above posts, just wanted to add that your son needs to apologize to this child immediately, and tell him he wont ever do it again.
He also needs to tell his partner on the bus that he wont be teasing anyone anymore.
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groisamomma


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Mon, Nov 18 2019, 5:22 pm
Taking bus privileges away hurts the parent, not the child.
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Laiya


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Mon, Nov 18 2019, 5:29 pm
OP, I think you want to focus on what you can do to cultivate empathy in your ds.
Also, does this behavior seem out of character for him? Sometimes otherwise nice kids can get caught up with bullying. If your ds is old enough, maybe you can discuss this with him. What makes people decide to go along with someone who's being mean? He needs confidence to be assertive. You can role-play, and there are also youtube videos on how to speak up to bullies and for victims.
The empathy should go for the bus driver too. Kids can understand that even a grown up feels good when a child says Good morning and thank you. He can understand that it must be a hard job to drive a bus full of kids. (There's also the kiddush Hashem aspect you may wish to discuss.)
I agree he should apologize to both the bus driver and the boy, but the apology should come from him to be sincere. It should include him saying why what he did was wrong, and what he will do next time in the future.
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amother


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Mon, Nov 18 2019, 6:10 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | On the way home, he and another boy are teaming up and singing a not nice song to another boy. Bus driver just told me about it. Son told bus driver he does not have to listen to him he only has to listen to Hashem. Help what do I do? Say to my son? |
Talk to him about why he did it. Talk about how he would feel if kids did that to him.
And while you're at it, talk to him about the Torah perspective on respecting elders and on bullying.
Then, action.
First, he needs to apologize to both the bus driver and the other child. I'd have him call the other child. You might want to talk to the parents -- tell them that you just learned of this, you are taking action to make sure it doesn't happen again, invite them to call you if there are further issues. Then have your son apologize.
He will need to sit at the front of the bus, and not with the other child he acted out with, until you can be sure that he's learned his lesson.
Then, some empathy learning. Something to help others.
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