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-> Interesting Discussions
southernbubby
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 Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:35 am
I give the idea that he has, that people should do what is in their own financial best interest and ignore the Joneses, a big 
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amother
Pink
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:38 am
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Yesssss. Brilliant. I'm in bli neder.
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southernbubby
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:42 am
| amother [ Pink ] wrote: | | Yesssss. Brilliant. I'm in bli neder. |
According to the article, he has a huge WhatsApp and Telegram following.
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amother
Lavender
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:50 am
I really liked the article. I loved how he said it had nothing to do with a rabbi or a particular Jewish sect or minhag. Its just about using your brain. I thought it was very empowering and a very heartfelt and thoughtful response to a hardship he sees.
But still... and I knowww there will be tomatoes thrown. So I am whispering this. I think I would be sad to get a cheap silver bracelet. There I said it. I was so happy and proud to get beautiful jewelry. I didn't get anything very expensive and certainly not endless gifts. I actually would have been fine to get a fake diamond ring. But my engagement bracelet meant a lot to me. But maybe I'm just tying in all the emotions into it. I was an older single so getting that gift from my chassan at our engagement was so emotional and having something so beautiful - more than I'd ever had - was so special....
But I suppose everyone can choose what they want to do. That's the point of the article... Just don't know if I can be so extreme. But a lot of really great points and a lot of encouragement to find your own way.
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PinkFridge
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:51 am
You know you're going to hear, 10K. Huh. We did it in the backyard with a minyan. 
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LittleMissMama
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:57 am
-deleted
Last edited by LittleMissMama on Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:04 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Jade
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:58 am
| amother [ Lavender ] wrote: | I really liked the article. I loved how he said it had nothing to do with a rabbi or a particular Jewish sect or minhag. Its just about using your brain. I thought it was very empowering and a very heartfelt and thoughtful response to a hardship he sees.
But still... and I knowww there will be tomatoes thrown. So I am whispering this. I think I would be sad to get a cheap silver bracelet. There I said it. I was so happy and proud to get beautiful jewelry. I didn't get anything very expensive and certainly not endless gifts. I actually would have been fine to get a fake diamond ring. But my engagement bracelet meant a lot to me. But maybe I'm just tying in all the emotions into it. I was an older single so getting that gift from my chassan at our engagement was so emotional and having something so beautiful - more than I'd ever had - was so special....
But I suppose everyone can choose what they want to do. That's the point of the article... Just don't know if I can be so extreme. But a lot of really great points and a lot of encouragement to find your own way. |
And I didn't care about the bracelet at all. Didn't get one, didn't want one.
Your point is that each person may have that one thing that's particularly important or sentimental for them, and it's worth spending money on it. But it doesn't need to be every single thing - expensive ring, bracelet, candlesticks, sheitel, etc. ... Choosing one thing to invest in is very different.
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amother
Pink
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:02 am
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Does anyone know how we can get on to his WhatsApp group?
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amother
Jade
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:13 am
| PinkFridge wrote: | | You know you're going to hear, 10K. Huh. We did it in the backyard with a minyan. |
I wish I had the guts to do something like that when I was getting married. I wish I could've been okay with getting married in the cheapest place, spending very little on everything, etc. I don't understand why we spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on one night which means very little in the grand scheme of things. Sure, it's a great memory, but is it worth mortgaging one's financial stability for one night? Go deeply into debt or take tzedaka?
But I wanted at least something similar to what my friends had. My wedding was simpler, I spent less on my gown, hair, and makeup, and we did the bare minimum package at the hall. Still, it was a ton of money.
I can't say I'd do any different, though. How can I force my daughter to do something that I myself did not have the wherewithal to do?
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Mama Bear
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:14 am
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As soon as I read that his son learns by Yoeli Roth, it all made sense.
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southernbubby
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:28 am
| Mama Bear wrote: | | As soon as I read that his son learns by Yoeli Roth, it all made sense. |
Yeah, I think that he is even more extremely frugal in regards to weddings.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:34 am
| amother [ Pink ] wrote: | | Does anyone know how we can get on to his WhatsApp group? |
Id also like to know. His twitter account has a wats app group listed but it looks like it’s not that.
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amother
Silver
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:41 am
| amother [ Lavender ] wrote: | I really liked the article. I loved how he said it had nothing to do with a rabbi or a particular Jewish sect or minhag. Its just about using your brain. I thought it was very empowering and a very heartfelt and thoughtful response to a hardship he sees.
But still... and I knowww there will be tomatoes thrown. So I am whispering this. I think I would be sad to get a cheap silver bracelet. There I said it. I was so happy and proud to get beautiful jewelry. I didn't get anything very expensive and certainly not endless gifts. I actually would have been fine to get a fake diamond ring. But my engagement bracelet meant a lot to me. But maybe I'm just tying in all the emotions into it. I was an older single so getting that gift from my chassan at our engagement was so emotional and having something so beautiful - more than I'd ever had - was so special....
But I suppose everyone can choose what they want to do. That's the point of the article... Just don't know if I can be so extreme. But a lot of really great points and a lot of encouragement to find your own way. |
I think that instead of him buying junky jewelry that will last the kallah maybe a year, he should buy her one piece of real jewelry. Fake jewelry only looks "real" for about a year maybe 2 if you're lucky.
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SixOfWands
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:58 am
So, share. How is he going to do it?
10 years ago, the least expensive kosher caterer in NY was charging $45 per person, bare bones. So $50 now? Plus the venue. Music. Flowers. Anything else extra like decorating the chuppah. Ketubah. Rabbi. Clothing. Photographer.
Just not seeing it.
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SacN
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 11:08 am
| Quote: |
I think that instead of him buying junky jewelry that will last the kallah maybe a year, he should buy her one piece of real jewelry. Fake jewelry only looks "real" for about a year maybe 2 if you're lucky. |
My white gold diamond ring needs to be re rhodium coated every couple of years or it turns yellow. It's not so cheap and literally feels like throwing money away.
I have a few pieces of good quality silver jewelry. Love them. Much cheaper. Same look.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 11:10 am
| SixOfWands wrote: | So, share. How is he going to do it?
10 years ago, the least expensive kosher caterer in NY was charging $45 per person, bare bones. So $50 now? Plus the venue. Music. Flowers. Anything else extra like decorating the chuppah. Ketubah. Rabbi. Clothing. Photographer.
Just not seeing it. |
In Lakewood they charge much less - that’s why it’s so hard to get a hall. Ppl come from out of town.
Cheapest pkg is at Bais faiga is 10 k for the night. Split by the caterer for the chassan and kallah. (Clothing is extra  )
300 adults + 20 kids. 6pm - 11 pm
Hall - $2500
Music + photography $2500
Caterer $5000 (included waiters)
+tax
$18 each guest over 300
Includes silk flower arrangements - which are gorgeous.
Food is very decent. Not super fancy but def befitting a wedding.
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syrima
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 11:16 am
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Great but what about in Brooklyn, what does a decent hall cost there?
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SixOfWands
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 11:17 am
| amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote: | In Lakewood they charge much less - that’s why it’s so hard to get a hall. Ppl come from out of town.
Cheapest pkg is at Bais faiga is 10 k for the night. Split by the caterer for the chassan and kallah. (Clothing is extra )
300 adults + 20 kids. 6pm - 11 pm
Hall - $2500
Music + photography $2500
Caterer $5000 (included waiters)
+tax
$18 each guest over 300
Includes silk flower arrangements - which are gorgeous.
Food is very decent. Not super fancy but def befitting a wedding. |
So its still significantly over $10,000 when you add in clothing, wedding ring (even if no other jewelry) and ketuba.
I guess we're not that far from weddings, and we're figuring on it costing a whole lot more than that. So I am curious.
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amother
Burlywood
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Mon, Nov 25 2019, 11:17 am
My husand is on his group.
He says it's not about sect/chassidus. But keep in mind he's a heisa breslover....
Honestly, I wouldn't have been ok with the way he's doing things. And I was a very easy going kallah.
I didn't get any furniture. (one side ended up giving us the cash, we used it towards our down payment. We totally didn't expect it) we moved into a furnished apt after our wedding. When we moved we bought our own stuff. New beds, but the rest of the furniture was used... 5 years later we still don't have bedroom furniture. Just some mixed stuff, handmedowns or cheap from amazon...)
And many other things like that.
But a kallah should get one real gold expensive gift. Doesn't have to be 4k. But something real and nice.
And other things I don't agree with. You don't have to do like the "kohens".
But poor kallah!
Also, inviting friends and have them pay for their portion??? So rude!!!!!
Rather invite to just some refreshments. But that is just rude! Imo.
And for reference. I grew up and got married in willi. Went to satmar school. Middle of the spectrum family.
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