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S/O 10k wedding. Priorities when marrying children?



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jerseygirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 1:40 pm
Everyone has different priorities when it comes to marrying off children and setting them up for the new life.

Do you have the same priorities that your parents had when they married you off to when you will marry off your children? Or have your priorities changed and why?

Also, are you able to give your children as much as your parents gave you when they married you off? If you can't even buy yourself new furniture to replace what was given at your wedding, how is it reasonable to expect to buy new furniture for all of your children? (or down payment or sponsor 3-5 years of learning or whatever else you were generously given)
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amother
Linen


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 1:44 pm
My parents took out a home loan to help pay for my wedding. My in-laws generously put down a security deposit on an apartment, bought us cheap beds, and furnished it with hand-me-downs from their home and craigslist finds.

I tried to do the cheapest I could for the wedding, but caterers refused to do buffet style, so it was still expensive unfortunately.

I have no idea how we will do the same for our kids, but I hope we can give them at least those things.
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Gerbera




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 1:47 pm
I don't come from a world where a couple is given furnished apartments, gold jewellery, chosson watches, etc. I didn't receive a thing to set our place up and don't get the concept of doing so. We worked. We paid for our stuff. What do you actually need right away anyways?? Not incredibly much. I have zero intention of supporting my kids as a plan - I'd love to help out with what we can. We have 8 kids ka"h and absolutely no way to pay for most of the stuff I read about on this website!
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 2:00 pm
We were a bit older, so we paid for our own wedding. We received a lot of household items as shower gifts, but otherwise did it all on our own. Like most everyone I know, we started (well, each started since we were on our own before marriage) with inexpensive stuff, then upgraded. Except the monstrosity of a bedroom set I mentioned in the other thread. My dining room table is still a Craigslist find, but I love it, so see no reason to buy something new.

I do have money set aside for reasonable weddings, which is a lot more than the $10,000 of the other thread, but not the 500 person bonanza some people talk about. We anticipate helping out kids at first, whether that be treating them to groceries or paying car insurance or slipping them a few bucks here and there, but that's it. No down payments or furniture or long term support.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 3:55 pm
I'm a shadchanit. Most esp ffb families do NOT afford, even they wanted
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icebreaker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 4:30 pm
The only thing my parents paid for was my wedding dress. And this is only because they didn't agree with who I was marrying, where I was in life, etc, but still felt obligated to do something. Everything else, my ex and I paid for ourselves. I do not plan on paying for my children's weddings. Sure, I'll pay for some things here and there, but I'd rather pay (and already paying) for college, or even giving them money for a downpayment, if they chose.
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