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What do you pay for for older children?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Nov 28 2019, 8:11 pm
What do you pay fo for your older children....like high school through post seminary (17-22)? Is there a difference from what you pay for for the high schoolers, those in seminary, and those post seminary?

We have daughters in all 3 categories, and are trying to figure out what each should be responsible for and what we should provide?

If there is difference between what you give older kids and younger kids (say a 21 year old and 17 year old), how do you handle it if they complain they complain about a difference?

If an older kid is in college after seminary, do you still provide the same way as they were when in high school or seminary?

Do you give a monthly allowance?

We are trying to figure this all out! Thank you!
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amother




Seafoam
 

Post  Thu, Nov 28 2019, 9:22 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
What do you pay fo for your older children....like high school through post seminary (17-22)? Is there a difference from what you pay for for the high schoolers, those in seminary, and those post seminary?

We have daughters in all 3 categories, and are trying to figure out what each should be responsible for and what we should provide?

If there is difference between what you give older kids and younger kids (say a 21 year old and 17 year old), how do you handle it if they complain they complain about a difference?

If an older kid is in college after seminary, do you still provide the same way as they were when in high school or seminary?

Do you give a monthly allowance?

We are trying to figure this all out! Thank you!


What are you talking about? Are you trying to buy children?

When I came home from seminary, I got a job. Tell the 21 year old to stop complaining and go to work.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Thu, Nov 28 2019, 9:49 pm
Through hs my parents paid for (almost) everything. In seminary and college I got an allowance ( $300 a month above rent and tuition) to cover food and basic supplies and clothes. Anything extra came from my money. The allowance stopped as soon as I finished college and at that point it was just phone plan and gifts when they felt like it.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Nov 28 2019, 11:17 pm
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
Through hs my parents paid for (almost) everything. In seminary and college I got an allowance ( $300 a month above rent and tuition) to cover food and basic supplies and clothes. Anything extra came from my money. The allowance stopped as soon as I finished college and at that point it was just phone plan and gifts when they felt like it.



op here; thank you! this is very helpful!
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:51 am
My parents stopped all financial support when I was in college. I lived at home for free but everything else was my responsibility. I worked and paid for tuition and books as well as can insurance and all personal items.
We are more relaxed with our 20 yr old DD. We pay for college and all related costs (transportation, books, eating out on campus) and her phone, toiletries and healthcare and some clothing. She pays for outings with friends and some clothing.
For the kids still in HS we pay for everything (my kids aren't excessive with going out with friends. Occasional movies and pizza and bowling) but when my boys wanted some new Nintendo thing and they already have a bunch of video game stuff we made them pay for it themselves.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:56 am
We paid for pretty much everything until our kids got married (boy@22, girl@19). Our son was in Yeshiva and not earning any significant money, and even though our daughter was teaching (while in college), we preferred that she save her money for after her marriage (when we knew she’d need it).
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Fri, Nov 29 2019, 5:50 am
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
Through hs my parents paid for (almost) everything. In seminary and college I got an allowance ( $300 a month above rent and tuition) to cover food and basic supplies and clothes. Anything extra came from my money. The allowance stopped as soon as I finished college and at that point it was just phone plan and gifts when they felt like it.


I will add that this was in a modern orthodox community where I was in college full time and didn’t live at home anymore. I also did not move back home after finishing college- I lived in an apt with friends and paid my own rent at that point.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 29 2019, 6:51 am
Many people don't support their children here at all from age 17/18. They may pay for some schooling and sometimes clothing but as a whole ids are more independent and expected to pay for things themselves.
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amother




Saddlebrown
 

Post  Fri, Nov 29 2019, 7:32 am
It really depends if they have a job. We pay for schooling and living arrangements. They don’t live at home. Since they work, they pay for everything else, from clothing to toiletries to transportation to entertainment. We do however pay for their phone line.
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Fri, Nov 29 2019, 7:32 am
My parents paid for everything until I got married at 21. I will do the same for my kids. Any money earned was saved.
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