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-> Halachic Questions and Discussions
Ema of 5
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 Fri, Nov 29 2019, 11:12 am
| amother [ Tan ] wrote: | "birth father"? Her father didn't give birth.
This was not an IVF situation. |
I think she meant biological father
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amother
Slategray
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 11:13 am
We are using donor sperm from a non-Jew because we found out my husband doesn’t produce sperm. This is the only way we can have children together with a biological link to at least me. We received a clear psak from Puah that proceeding with a non-Jew is definitely fine and we are doing *the right thing* to build, iyh a big and beautiful Jewish family.
If you have any idea of what goes into these decisions, you’ll know it’s certainly not a choice that is ever made lightly (with tremendous pain and anguish for us), but now acceptance and looking forward to starting our family in an, albeit unexpected way, iyh soon. We received a psak that daughters would not be prohibited to kohanim. If my husband were a kohen (he’s not, BH) , there would be additional complications because children wouldn’t be able to duchhan and people might notice.
Because of this, couples who have male infertility but a kohen husband are typically recommended by Puah and other rabbonim who allow donor sperm to do IVF with embryo gender selection to have all girls.
There are poskim who hold using donor sperm is not allowed. But we were told that not one posek has halachic basis to say any child is a mamzer once it’s born, if the sperm came from a non-Jew. Anyone who sees this thread and is dealing with these issues (RL), should know that Puah is there to guide you with chashuv rabbonim and are the first people you should contact.
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amother
Indigo
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 11:45 am
I really feel for all the infertile couples from before the time of hashgachas who were told they can't, and now it's late for them.
Theological question, if you heard of a couple who had a baby after ten years due to these advances, would you say it's a miracle or would you attribute it to science.
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amother
Rose
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:12 pm
| amother [ Slategray ] wrote: | We are using donor sperm from a non-Jew because we found out my husband doesn’t produce sperm. This is the only way we can have children together with a biological link to at least me. We received a clear psak from Puah that proceeding with a non-Jew is definitely fine and we are doing *the right thing* to build, iyh a big and beautiful Jewish family.
If you have any idea of what goes into these decisions, you’ll know it’s certainly not a choice that is ever made lightly (with tremendous pain and anguish for us), but now acceptance and looking forward to starting our family in an, albeit unexpected way, iyh soon. We received a psak that daughters would not be prohibited to kohanim. If my husband were a kohen (he’s not, BH) , there would be additional complications because children wouldn’t be able to duchhan and people might notice.
Because of this, couples who have male infertility but a kohen husband are typically recommended by Puah and other rabbonim who allow donor sperm to do IVF with embryo gender selection to have all girls.
There are poskim who hold using donor sperm is not allowed. But we were told that not one posek has halachic basis to say any child is a mamzer once it’s born, if the sperm came from a non-Jew. Anyone who sees this thread and is dealing with these issues (RL), should know that Puah is there to guide you with chashuv rabbonim and are the first people you should contact. |
Same here. Used (had to) double donor for conceiving my children with guidance of chashuv rabbi, both donors not Jewish. Even more was told they should not be Jewish(Side note: did not even need the very costly hashgacha in my case....)
Hatzlacha!!
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amother
Linen
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:28 pm
| amother [ Slategray ] wrote: | We are using donor sperm from a non-Jew because we found out my husband doesn’t produce sperm. This is the only way we can have children together with a biological link to at least me. We received a clear psak from Puah that proceeding with a non-Jew is definitely fine and we are doing *the right thing* to build, iyh a big and beautiful Jewish family.
If you have any idea of what goes into these decisions, you’ll know it’s certainly not a choice that is ever made lightly (with tremendous pain and anguish for us), but now acceptance and looking forward to starting our family in an, albeit unexpected way, iyh soon. We received a psak that daughters would not be prohibited to kohanim. If my husband were a kohen (he’s not, BH) , there would be additional complications because children wouldn’t be able to duchhan and people might notice.
Because of this, couples who have male infertility but a kohen husband are typically recommended by Puah and other rabbonim who allow donor sperm to do IVF with embryo gender selection to have all girls.
There are poskim who hold using donor sperm is not allowed. But we were told that not one posek has halachic basis to say any child is a mamzer once it’s born, if the sperm came from a non-Jew. Anyone who sees this thread and is dealing with these issues (RL), should know that Puah is there to guide you with chashuv rabbonim and are the first people you should contact. |
Really happy for you that you got such clear guidance. Just wondering, how do you ensure the donor isn’t Jewish (no maternal Jewish lineage)?
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amother
Papaya
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:30 pm
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This actually happened in real life. I assume they based it on that? An OB used his own sperm unbeknownst to his patients...
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amother
Tan
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:38 pm
| amother [ Indigo ] wrote: | I really feel for all the infertile couples from before the time of hashgachas who were told they can't, and now it's late for them.
Theological question, if you heard of a couple who had a baby after ten years due to these advances, would you say it's a miracle or would you attribute it to science. |
everytime a baby is conceived its a miracle.
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amother
Chocolate
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:52 pm
The Satmar rebbe .. was against this and holds that the child is a mamzer
lots and lots of poskim agreed that should not be done (note sure if they agreed about mamzer)
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amother
Mint
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:55 pm
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NO charge for hashgacha from a time.
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allthingsblue
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 1:00 pm
| amother [ Indigo ] wrote: | I really feel for all the infertile couples from before the time of hashgachas who were told they can't, and now it's late for them.
Theological question, if you heard of a couple who had a baby after ten years due to these advances, would you say it's a miracle or would you attribute it to science. |
Of course it's a miracle! Just like it's a miracle when someone is cured from sickness through medicine, treatment or surgery.
Getting pregnant is only the first step. The fetus needs to grow into a healthy baby and be delivered, and both mother and baby need to recover. There are so many miracles involved with the birth of any baby, whether natural IVF or Surrogate.
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amother
Sienna
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 1:18 pm
| amother [ Mint ] wrote: | | NO charge for hashgacha from a time. |
Same, A TIME provided us hashgacha and didn't ask for a penny, though we later gave them a generous donation out of hakaras hatov.
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amother
Salmon
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 1:29 pm
| amother [ Linen ] wrote: | | I was charged a lot for Hashgacha when I did IVF but I believe at this time they don’t charge (atime). |
When I did IVF 11 years ago it was $100 so I paid it. When I did IVF 8 years ago the price had gone up to $1000. R' Fuerst in Chicago told me not to do it for that price so I didn't.
When I did a frozen transfer 4 year ago I heard they no longer charged so I called to get hasgacha but they wouldn't do it since the fresh cycle was not mashgiached.
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amother
Linen
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 2:25 pm
| amother [ Mint ] wrote: | | NO charge for hashgacha from a time. |
Only as of the last few years. I did Ivf 7 years ago and had to pay.
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amother
Amber
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Fri, Nov 29 2019, 2:39 pm
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The center is very careful with the samples, they have so much protocol to insure that it all works out well and it all goes to the right person. Their fear of messing up and getting sued is huge. I believe that if a mistake happens it'll happen with the lady from hashgacha there also.
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Rappel
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 2:12 pm
| amother [ Indigo ] wrote: | I really feel for all the infertile couples from before the time of hashgachas who were told they can't, and now it's late for them.
Theological question, if you heard of a couple who had a baby after ten years due to these advances, would you say it's a miracle or would you attribute it to science. |
IVF is a miracle
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