I feel like I failed my son.

amother

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 7:13 am

Please help me.
My baby is almost 4 months and has not had his shots. (Yet)
I did not know that he was already covered by insurance when he was born and I just recently found out. I was worried mainly that he wasn’t covered under insurance, and I am looking for jobs. Our families can’t financially help us because our families live out of state and out of the country and they too are struggling just to get by. My mother lives paycheck to paycheck and she works 2 jobs just to get by.
We are the only ones in Brooklyn. And yes, I submitted an application for WIC.
I’ve been going crazy looking around for a good doctor in Boro park amd at this point, I’m just going to have to go to anybody who accepts Medicaid (what I recently found out that we are both eligible in the mail).

Is it okay that my baby be vaccinated for the first time at almost 4 months??? Will he be okay? What should I watch out for? Will I get in trouble??

Please don’t attack me. This is my first child and I already feel horrible as a mother.

amother

Coffee

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 7:15 am

Totally fine. Dont worry. If you are nursing he will get immunity from you for most things he encounters. You have given him 4 months for his brain and nervous system to developed without bombarding it with germs and heavy metals. Mazal tov on your new baby and hatzlacha in your financial situation.

amother

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 7:30 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Amein. Thank you so much.

Unfortunately I can’t nurse. I don’t make enough milk Sad

So we give formula

avrahamama

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 7:35 am

He's going to be alright. You will find a great doctor. I was very very very behind on shots for my last two kids. Life got busy and I wasn't organized. BH the doctor understood and helped me get back into a schedule. You haven't missed that much yet. Go online and lookup vaccine schedules and use it to help you know what he will need. (The hospital may have given you a vaccine schedule when they discharged you)

Hatzlacha! Enjoy your baby!

amother

Jetblack

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 7:36 am

Please don't worry! You didn't fail your son. There are plenty of mothers who hold off on shots until their baby is older.
Find a doc you like and start the shots business. Most probably he'll get the most important ones first.
Don't eat yourself up! You're doing a great job being a mom!

amother

Fuchsia

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 7:40 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Amein. Thank you so much.

Unfortunately I can’t nurse. I don’t make enough milk Sad

So we give formula

Do you still have some milk left? Can you stimulate and start nursing again?
Even just once or twice a day will help your child's immunity.

My child is 6 months old.
His siblings are vaccinated. I don't plan on giving him anything as long as I'm still nursing. And I'm hoping to continue nursing up till 2+ years.

If you don't nurse please do give him his shots. But personally I'd, be careful where I'd take my baby and not give shots before and the least 12 months.
Also do one at a time to not overwhelm his immune system.
There are remedies and other things to do a few days before and after to minimize side effects. Do your research on the shots you will give. Not all are absolutely necessary.

Good luck and Mazal Tov to your new baby!

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 8:03 am

Btw, if your child is uninsured the gov pays for the shots, you just pay the dr to administer them. Due to a paperwork issue we had to pay out of pocket for her 4 month appt with a few shots and it was only around $100- which is way less than her insurance premium. Ask your dr.

amother

Sapphire

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 8:05 am

If it's your first baby then do your due research about vaccinating on a delayed schedule.

Also I think it's really sad of the media hype that you feel so bad and negligent when you have valid reasons for simply not getting around to shots. There's no reason a new mom of an otherwise healthy 4 month old should be beating herself up over it. Many people deliberately hold off a few months. And many people do a delayed schedule. Pls don't go to a doctor and get caught up on multiple shots in one visit.

amother

Bisque

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 8:59 am

I started reading your post thinking you had the opposite problem. I vaccinated my son at 3 months and within 24 hours he had the worst double ear infection in his life. Yes, he had a tendency and some sort of allergy that we never figured out but that kicked it off and boy, do I still regret starting shots so early. What's the rush? Even according to pro-vaxxers one shot doesn't confer total immunity until you finish the series although they keep adding more and more boosters because it wears off or never worked in the first place.
I pushed off the rest and did them slowly and avoided the stupid ones like the Hepatitis B and after getting his ear infections under control, 10 days after the MMR, right on schedule for side effects, he got the second worse double ear infection in his life that took a long time to recover from.Another big mistake.
Relax and don't get sucked into the hype.

#BestBubby

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:16 pm

1, You did not "fail" your son. Even the Pro-Vaxxers finally admit that vaccines have risks. Diseases also have risks - but since your son did NOT get any disease, the delay protected him from the risk of Vaccines when he is at the highest risk (newborn).

2. You will not get in trouble. There is no law (yet) mandating vaccines, unless the baby is in daycare. You do not have to vaccinate until your baby is in school or daycare. But doctors are encouraged not to accept patients who don't vaccinate - so there is that coercion as well.

amother

Blush

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 12:38 pm

Like others have said, it's not the more the better, the earlier the better. Let your child develop an immune system and let him develop neurologically. It's not easy for kids to take so many shots at such an early age. Not all children handle them well. Please look into this well.

Chana Miriam S

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 1:19 pm

Op. I just want to ask you if you could speak with someone close to you, in person about all that is going on with you. Your post reminds me of how some people talk when they have PPD.

The good news, is that if you are treated for PPD, you’ll feel better and not be down on yourself.

Re the vaccines: for my second ( who is now twenty) who was a baby when no one yet knew the autism / vaccine study was a fraud, I delayed and separated vaccines. My first was on the spectrum. My friends were the family who brought the autism/vaccine law suit and testified in senate hearings. The jury was actually out on the topic. My doctor understood my concerns.

Also, my fully breastfed baby got a wicked cold and ear infection at six months. Breastfeeding does not automatically make babies immune to everything. I have actual training in breastfeeding support by a major org. So I know my breastfeeding. It helps greatly but breastfed babies also get sick and die. Or die of SIDS. Sometimes things happen.

If your baby is not nursing, then it’s true that he isn’t getting the immune properties that are in breast milk. They may not be enough to cover everything but it’s significant.

I’d try not to delay starting to catch up to the vaccine schedule too long. There are no guarantees in life for anything but really, why not err on the side of caution?

Especially because we really cannot rely on herd immunity any more with all the anti vax ppl.

amother

Cerulean

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 1:28 pm

I don't see that breastfed babies are sick less often. My breastfed newborn got ear infection at 5 weeks old. DD was exclusively breastfed and always had ear infections and was sick till she got tubes in her ears. My 1 baby that was exclusively formula fed was never sick as a baby.

amother

Lawngreen

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 2:26 pm

Your thread title is really a catastrophizing over something. While feelings are feelings please work to reframe and be more positive. Most things can be remedied/improved and parenting is never perfect. Hashem made you this child's mommy for a reason a good reason and please take some parenting courses or something if you want to maximize your parenting abilities. If you cannot nurse you are not alone. Just do the best you can. While breastfeeding can be ideal it is not something everyone can do.
hugs and hatzlocha

thunderstorm

Fri, Nov 29 2019, 2:30 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

My breastfed babies were my sickliest babies and also are my kids that have allergies and other health issues. One of them had an ear infection at 11 days old. My formula fed babies barely got sick as babies. I thought I was the only one that had this experience.