S/o embarrassment- extra step to not embarrass

amother

Tue, Dec 03 2019, 11:06 am

Have you ever had an experience where you noticed someone go out of their way not to embarrass you?

I can’t recall anything, but my dh said that when he was in yeshiva he got caught doing something he shouldn’t. The rosh yeshiva privately told him that he knows that everyone might do it, but it’s not something to publicize. It really made an impact on him and not much affects him. If he would have done that publicly or said it differently, it would have completely backfired.

amother

Pearl

Tue, Dec 03 2019, 11:09 am

I once heard a story about a boy who had stolen his friend's watch. The rebbi lined up all the boys and found the watch, but hid it and at the end of the line, he just returned the watch to its owner and never let on to anyone who had actually taken it.

One time in seminary, a girl's phone went off in class. We were not allowed to have our phones in the school building (the dorm was a couple of doors down). The teacher told us she was going to leave the room since she didn't want to know whose phone it was, but whoever it belonged to should put it on her desk, and she would just turn it in to the office without checking whose it was.

In general, when talking about teachers, doing things privately works best. Private conversations always work better. Compassion goes a long way.

amother

Red

Tue, Dec 03 2019, 11:10 am

Yes!
I went with dh do deliver mishloach manos to a rabbi and rebbetzin in Shana Rishonah. As Dh was shmoozing with the rabbi in the dining room, the rebbetzin said, "come, I'd love you to meet my daughters!" and brought me to the kitchen to meet them. I thought it was sweet of her to be so warm to me, and then months later it dawned on me that she didn't want me in the dining room because there were many prominent rabbonim etc there, and it was supposed to be men-only. She didn't want to embarrass me though, so she thought of a discreet way to get me to the women's side.

jsb

Tue, Dec 03 2019, 11:29 am

I once heard a shiur by R’ Krohn (99% sure that’s who it was.) He told a story about a boy in yeshiva who was struggling with his Yiddishkeit and on Friday night was in the process of stealing his Rebbi’s car to go to the movies and another boy saw him and wanted to go with him and he told him no. When he was at the theaters, his Rebbi walked in! He had walked the long distance to tell him that he should please not eat the popcorn (or some other snack I can’t remember) because it wasn’t kosher. He and the boy then walked back together to yeshiva. The boy couldn’t believe how the rebbi didn’t say anything about him stealing his car or being mechalel shabbos. It made such an impression on him and he came back to yiddeshkeit and R’ Krohn said he verified with the boy that this story was true and apparently this is someone who has a big name for very good reasons that we would all know and be shocked to find out that he was the boy. I apologize if I got any of the details off but that’s how I remember it.

cbsp

Tue, Dec 03 2019, 11:56 am

jsb wrote:

The Rebbi was Rabbi Trenk zt"l.

I have no words to describe his gadlus and what a loss his petira has been.

amother

Maroon

Tue, Dec 03 2019, 11:59 am

cbsp wrote:

The Rebbi was Rabbi Trenk zt"l.

I have no words to describe his gadlus and what a loss his petira has been.

I can imagine how many more of these stories are just unknown. He must have been an amazing person. When did he pass away? Curious how you know who the rebbi was?