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Money DOES help in most situations
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Fri, Dec 06 2019, 5:57 am
2 People I know lost children unfortunately, both suddenly.

In one case, the mother was able to leave her job, go to therapy and start the healing process.She's able to be present for the rest of the grieving family.

The other, could barely afford the week of shiva off and has to be at work everyday in order to survive and has no time or money for therapy for herself and the rest of the family.

Both families suffered greatly, money doesn't take the pain away but it helps survive the tragedy.

I'm very close to both these families.
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amother




Gold
 

Post  Fri, Dec 06 2019, 6:56 am
Money does help in most situations, no doubt about it.Not having the basics and being happy, raising a family in a happy healthy environment is a challenge when you have to worry if you'll have tuition money, money for the dentist or even basic food items!

However, I have wealthy family members that are always unhappy because they never think they have as much as someone they know, nothing they own is good enough. They are constantly comparing themselves to others. They are materially comfortable, but not emotionally. They are incapable of noticing their luck.

And I also know people that have tons of family money, they could have plenty of time with their families, but choose not to do so. They work as if they're broke because again, there's always someone richer than they are and they feel poor even though they are far from it.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post  Fri, Dec 06 2019, 10:30 am
amother [ Black ] wrote:
only people who struggle with money are disillusioned to think that if only they had the money, that money would solve their problems. More than money we need sechel how to use it.

I have seen wealthy people who were so stingy, that no, their lives were not better but far worse for them & their families.

I knew one wealthy man, whose house had moldy hanging wallpapers & chairs tied together with shoe laces. His wife didn't have more than a few pennies in her pocket. Even for his burial, money didn't help, as he died in a different country, over a weekend, and they couldn't get the body out. His death came about, from food poisoning of leftover food, he didn't want to ditch, on his travels.

Another person I know, who received a large lump sum from a yerusha but he is so stingy & still living his old life. He lends out big money, for other people, for business deals but their pantry is bare. He doesn't let his wife do the grocery shopping because he needs to control, every penny spent & second guesses, her every nitty gritty purchase.
Another family that got divided over who will get more yerusha than other while patent was still alive.
Money isn't everything


And therefor? There are crazy people who are wealthy and crazy people who are poor.
I can tell you 3 stories of crazy poor people if you want.
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amother




Red
 

Post  Fri, Dec 06 2019, 2:17 pm
"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure makes for a more pleasant form of misery."
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amother




Peach
 

Post  Fri, Dec 06 2019, 2:52 pm
It would be interesting to know whether those who are offering their opinions as to whether money is "helpful in most situations" are wealthy, comfortable, poor etc.

Are any people with financial difficulties who feel that financial security wouldn't solve some of their problems and make their life easier - e.g. "happier"

I have looked at life from both sides of the economic coin as well as in-between and financial security helps in almost every situation. Even the cliches like money can't buy health aren't particularly accurate - wealthier people generally are able to lead healthier lifestyles and access better medical care. They have the ability to hire nutritionists, buy healthy food, hire a personal trainer or life coach; access all kinds of therapy (mental and physical) without working about networks, insurance or cost.

And even for those situations in which money can't stave off physical suffering, it sure does make it easier when one can afford transportation, parking, health care attendants and whatever else money can buy to make life more comfortable.

Of course there are miserable people who are wealthy but I don't personally know anyone whose wealth is making them miserable. Financial security enables them to not have the stress of anything that is associated with worrying whether one can "afford" something.

Of course there is the Yiddish curse which I paraphrase - May you have a hundred houses and each should have a hundred rooms and may you be so crazy that you run from room to room for the rest of your life.
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Sat, Dec 07 2019, 7:33 pm
I’m trying to figure out the question here.

Money is not an interchangeable challenge.
If you have 2 equally wealthy people and one has a sick child would you ask who has it better?
If a rich person with a sick child were asked if he would give up a lot of his wealth for a healthy child what do you think his answer would be?
If a poor person was asked if he would give up his childs health for money would ge agree?
This whole thing of money doesn’t make sense.
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post  Sat, Dec 07 2019, 7:51 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
Like most, I struggle with finances. But I always say that as long as I have the basics - decent housing, food and clothing - limited money is the BEST nisayon to have. It is better than:

Me or my loved one having Cancer Ch"V
Having a child off the derech.
Being married to an abuser
Living in pain (even if not life-threatening)

Remember our Nisyanos come from Hashem. Nothing is random. Of course,
keep davening and doing hishtadlus but keep money challenges in perspective.
There ARE worse nisyanos.


We are very poor, like taking tzedakah poor, we have the basics only because we take tzedakah poor, and we still have two of the other issues on your list. Your post really doesn't answer the op. Yes, having money would make surviving the other issues easier. But Hashem chose that we should have multiple nisyonos. Having one nisayon doesn't save you from having more.
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Librarian




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Dec 07 2019, 10:19 pm
My husband like to joke "Marbeh ksafim, marbeh d'aygos -HKBH, I already have the d'aygos, please give me the ksafim".
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amother




Papaya
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 9:26 am
amother [ Gold ] wrote:
Money does help in most situations, no doubt about it.Not having the basics and being happy, raising a family in a happy healthy environment is a challenge when you have to worry if you'll have tuition money, money for the dentist or even basic food items!

However, I have wealthy family members that are always unhappy because they never think they have as much as someone they know, nothing they own is good enough. They are constantly comparing themselves to others. They are materially comfortable, but not emotionally. They are incapable of noticing their luck.

And I also know people that have tons of family money, they could have plenty of time with their families, but choose not to do so. They work as if they're broke because again, there's always someone richer than they are and they feel poor even though they are far from it.


Again, this is an attitude some people will have and not a rule. If these people didn't have their wealth they would also be pushing themselves to keep up with the Jones. Do you think all poor people came to terms with their financial situation and don't crave more? Either your work on yourself to be happy with what you have or you will struggle with this all your life, irrelevant of what's in your bank account.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 9:30 am
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
It would be interesting to know whether those who are offering their opinions as to whether money is "helpful in most situations" are wealthy, comfortable, poor etc.

Are any people with financial difficulties who feel that financial security wouldn't solve some of their problems and make their life easier - e.g. "happier"


I agree with this so much. I've had money, and yes it was better.

I think people are so afraid to admit to themselves that life would be better, and yes I wish I could have that, but for now that's not what Hashem had in mind for me.

Be honest with yourself, do you really think life wouldn't be better without money or are you too weak to say I wish I had it but I don't and that's ok.
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amother




Pearl
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 10:13 am
Money does not make you happier necessarily, however it does make your life, not only easier, but bearable when ur having nisyonas.
If ur child is sick in The hospital for months, it makes it possible to give ur kids a semi normal life if u have the money to buy dinner every night, get enough housekeeping help, be able to take a car service back and forth to the hospital when u need to as opposed to waiting for a chesed car ( who do an amazing job as a volunteer org , however don't always have rides, have long wait, pick up numerous people...)
You have the money for babysitters when needed and for entertainment for the sick child and the kids at home. A new game won't cure the sick child or pacify the child symbols, but it will get them through a few hours again....

Our family has been in crisis for a while and we're very thankful for all the help theses out there. We've had times when we were able to afford more and less, so inexperienced both sides of the coin. There is absolutely no comparison to the days we were able to afford things and when we couldn't.

The differences were very clear in every way. Sorry, folks, money does matter...
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