Toddler vomiting after cry it out method

Odelyah

Sat, Dec 07 2019, 11:15 pm

Bruria wrote:

What about putting a mattress on the floor in your room? That way he might sleep and not wake you up, some kids are more needy than others, it's a personality thing.

Yes-- or even in his room. then you can lie with him until he falls asleep, and not have to move him afterwards.

He is not being manipulative! He is a baby who needs his mother Crying

the world's best mom

Sat, Dec 07 2019, 11:20 pm

Your baby is not "taking advantage of you"! Your baby wants/needs to be put to sleep, not locked in a cage/crib and left alone to cry until he throws up.

There are all different opinions about training babies to put themselves to sleep, and while I don't agree with many of them, I can understand why some parents do them. But I get so upset when parents say the baby is taking advantage or manipulating. As if the baby is thinking, how can I get my mommy to work harder? He's just a baby.

Your baby wants comfort and that is a valid need. There are gentle ways to train him, but really, 20 minutes to put him to sleep is not bad at all. So your exhausted- parenting is exhausting. It was never meant to be easy.

sky

Sat, Dec 07 2019, 11:55 pm

Odelyah wrote:

Yes-- or even in his room. then you can lie with him until he falls asleep, and not have to move him afterwards.

He is not being manipulative! He is a baby who needs his mother Crying

I would never put a 16 month old to sleep on a mattress. What happens when he wakes. I have a 15 month old who would get in 100 dangerous things out of a crib alone. When he sleeps in my bed I pray he wakes me up as he climbs out. Otherwise it’s scary!! He gets into everything.

Btw - everyone keeps writing to let him cry for 5 minutes. Op wrote he throws up in just 5 minutes. It’s not like she was letting him cry for hours...

And sometimes a child does need that space to fall asleep. I always said I wouldn’t let my kids cry in crib. But my 15 month old doesn’t take a bottle or paci and only nurses to sleep. But if he nurses for an hour and doesn’t doze off I’ll put him in his crib and let him cry a bit. I’m not sure what else I should be doing - but somehow within 5 minutes he is fast asleep. Sometimes nursing him another 1/2 hr just won’t do it...

Sara255

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 12:08 am

Learning wrote:

CIO is child abuse in my opinion. It’s a human being. You wouldn’t do it your friend or even a stranger. Why would you let someone scream in a dark room by himself. It is difficult to have children. If you can’t handle it don’t have so many. Chazal said if a mother let her child cry for nothing she will pay for it in shamayim. I’m sorry but that’s the truth.

Please provide a source for this. A mother needs to have sanity. This baby is definitely old enough to sleep through the night. She is not letting the baby cry for no reason, but this kind of quote out of context leads people to parent out of fear. While I agree the whole vomit situation is much, the cry it out method is not abusive and normal mothers who do it for all the right reasons will not go to Gehenom for it.

amother

Pearl

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:08 am

My DD used to vomit after 5 minutes of hard crying in her crib (3 minutes on nights we had salmon-it just came up faster). Honestly, for me the trick was to move fast and just take her out. She would calm down, I would snuggle and maybe nurse her, put her back in awake and tell her to go to sleep. She would, but if I didn't take her out for those few minutes, I was taking her out anyway to change sheets and then I had laundry to do. It passes. She is a lovely young lady now, a few short years from Shidduch. She sleeps through the night and doesn't vomit.

meeze

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:20 am

Thank you for the feedback...I really appreciate it.

I tried so many different methods previously and I'm kind of giving up already.

For the recommended pillow thay elevates the mattress, that would not work for me since his mattress is very stiff.

For tonight, He fell esleep bh on his own with a bottle in his bed (with a few kvetches) because he was overtired and didn't have a second nap in the afternoon as usual, but after 30 minutes he woke up crying. I came in later in his room to find out that he vommited all over!

I DONT HAVE 20 PAIRS OF PAJAMAS AND LINEN PLUS BLANKETS for all of this !!!!!

Now he's in my bed so again, I won't have night's sleep!!

Pls help!!!!!

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:44 am

My youngest did the exact same thing (no bottle). In less than 5 minutes, he'd throw up. (If I came in before he vomited to try and calm him, sometimes even pulling him out, he'd still vomit on me.) After I think 5 nights in a row, we decided that this method was clearly not for him. We're still doing an exaggerated Baby Shuffle (I think that's what it's called). For the first LONG time (probably more than 1-2 months), we'd sit on a chair in his room while he fell asleep (often falling asleep ourselves TMI

); slowly we transitioned to sitting in the doorway (very much in his view), then the hallway (with door open). Just last week or 2, we're trying with being out of sight (on the same floor), and if he calls out, we respond, and if he starts crying, we come in sight (not interested in restarting from the beginning).

Side note: to poster about the salmon, I'm pretty sure I had the same issue - with fish (or salmon) it was even quicker! Weird.

Hatzlacha and hugs!

peacenine

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 2:19 am

meeze wrote:

He might be ready to skip his afternoon nap. It might help him fall asleep quicker and deeper.

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 2:27 am

meeze wrote:

So did the sleeping in vomit help? Do you think that tomorrow he’ll control himself from vomiting since he’ll remember what happened last night.

LovesHashem

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 3:32 am

Learning wrote:

CIO isn't leaving in a dark room for even 10 minutes.
You are supposed to comfort him in the dark, rub his back, etc without picking up and holding.

banana123

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:38 am

meeze wrote:

I have a 16 month old. I put him to bed with a bottle at night. Then after he finishes the bottle, He wakes up and starts to cry. If I let him cry for more than 5 minutes, he gags and then throws up.

I get so frustrated. I start changing pj's and linen and try putting him back to bed. But this is also a process.........I let him sit on me in his dark room and only after 20 minutes does he fall asleep on me! I feel like he is taking advantage of me way too much!! My friends and family say that I should let him throw up and sleep in his mess and not change him so he should learn that this is not the way to get him out of bed!!

Please, all of you who have experience with this, I need help!!

Thanks so much

He's not "taking advantage of you." He's a year old! He still needs you to help him fall asleep.

Letting him throw up and sleep in his mess is child abuse. That's the way to teach him that no one cares about him. He's not throwing up on purpose. It's a physiological reaction to too much hysterical crying.

Either find another sleep-training method, ask a sleep professional for help, or let him fall asleep on you until he's ready to fall asleep on his own. I promise he won't be falling asleep on you by the time he joins the army. Probably not even by the time he starts first grade.

But right now, he is a BABY. You cannot spoil a BABY. He is not taking advantage of you. He is expressing real distress at being left alone - which he sees as a kind of abandonment - and ignoring his distress will do nothing but cause him trauma, possibly deep trauma that won't go away later on and will affect how he sees the world, handles stressful situations, and relates to other people as trustworthy or untrustworthy. Please ignore the idiots and do what's right for your child, even if it's not convenient or popular.

banana123

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:44 am

meeze wrote:

Mine goes to sleep alone and then insists on remaining in my bed after nighttime nursing sessions. No matter what we do to help baby go back to sleep in a different place (even car seat or stroller) nope, nada. So yes I don't really get to sleep. I would love to night wean but baby still needs those feedings and the issue is not hunger it's a need for snuggles.

This too shall pass.

meeze wrote:

Yeh, but even when he falls esleep on me, I try to put him into bed, and then he wakes up again...some nights, I could be up 3 times to do this....I'm drained by now.

Last night, I had him sleep in my bed, but I got zero sleep. He would poke me in the eye and not sleep in a normal position till he falls asleep.
I basically had no sleep and then could not stretch in my own bed. I felt like in a jail near him.

Welcome to having kids.

I share the jailbird feeling. This too shall pass.

Last edited by banana123 on Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:53 am; edited 1 time in total

banana123

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:49 am

Sara255 wrote:

CIO is not inherently abusive if you do it in a sane fashion. But if a baby is vomiting from distress, leaving the baby to sleep in the vomit and ignoring the fact that this baby is taking CIO very hard and experiencing it as very traumatic is simply child abuse.
I don't care about gehinnom. That's not why we do things. I care that the baby will suffer deep-seated trauma later on in life.
The way to hell, by the way, is paved with good intentions. It doesn't matter why you caused your child trauma, if you do it over and over and ignore their signs of trauma and distress, the results are the same regardless of your beautiful or horrible intentions.
CIO worked with one of my children but we came in to offer comfort and certainly there were no signs of distress or trauma. If there had been we would have stopped IMMEDIATELY.

banana123

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:52 am

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Please dont let him sleep in vomit!!! He is definitely doing it to test you! But show him you dont get phased by his vomiting. Change him and put him back into his crib after a week he should stop doing it! Its hard work being a mom! Hatzlacha

He's crying to test her. He's not vomiting to test her. The vomit is an uncontrollable physiological result of the crying. Learning to control the vomit might come later but it will never be a positive thing. It will only be learning not to express emotion, and to keep it bottle up inside because there is no one safe who cares to help.

trixx

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 7:19 am

[quote="banana123"]He's crying to test her. He's not vomiting to test her. The vomit is an uncontrollable physiological result of the crying. Learning to control the vomit might come later but it will never be a positive thing. It will only be learning not to express emotion, and to keep it bottle up inside because there is no one safe who cares to help.[/quote]

A baby can't cry to test.
Crying is an expression of emotion.

nchr

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 7:28 am

Why hasn't anyone commented on the bottle? Your baby should not be put to sleep with a bottle, ever. And your baby is old enough to chuck the bottle entirely. After that, there are many sleep training methods that should work - you need to pick one and be consistent but I dont think I'd let my kid sleep in his own vomit when the fact he vomited was my fault (put him to sleep with a bottle). I think supernanny's it's bedtime darling is a softer take on the cry it out.