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Toddler vomiting after cry it out method
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 7:52 am
I would also get rid of afternoon nap at 16 months.
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 8:06 am
Question for those who say a 16 month old doesn’t cry to manipulate - I think my baby does know how to cry to get his way. Or am I wrong?

For example my baby will bring me something - let’s say a food he shouldn’t eat to open for him - I’ll put it away and give home something else. He’ll throw himself on the floor and cry and tantrum for it.

When a baby does that they are crying for something and doing it on purpose. He can turn it off as soon as he turns it on if he gets what he wants. I really think he knows what he is doing.

Or am I wrong and he doesn’t?
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Odelyah




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 8:10 am
sky wrote:
I would never put a 16 month old to sleep on a mattress. What happens when he wakes. I have a 15 month old who would get in 100 dangerous things out of a crib alone. When he sleeps in my bed I pray he wakes me up as he climbs out. Otherwise it’s scary!! He gets into everything.

Btw - everyone keeps writing to let him cry for 5 minutes. Op wrote he throws up in just 5 minutes. It’s not like she was letting him cry for hours...

And sometimes a child does need that space to fall asleep. I always said I wouldn’t let my kids cry in crib. But my 15 month old doesn’t take a bottle or paci and only nurses to sleep. But if he nurses for an hour and doesn’t doze off I’ll put him in his crib and let him cry a bit. I’m not sure what else I should be doing - but somehow within 5 minutes he is fast asleep. Sometimes nursing him another 1/2 hr just won’t do it...


I never had a problem-- when I did this their room itself was safe and baby proof with not much in it and I kept the door closed (they couldn't open it) if they woke up at night and cried I would go to them and lie back down and nurse them back to sleep. They never just woke up fully and started exploring.. when we moved to a house with 2 floors I made sure to always have a baby gate at the top of the stairs just in case anyone came out of a room in the night but it never happened.  My babies weren't in cribs so I always made sure things were set up safely with this in mind.
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 8:12 am
Odelyah wrote:
I never had a problem-- when I did this their room itself was safe and baby proof with not much in it and I kept the door closed (they couldn't open it) if they woke up at night and cried I would go to them and lie back down and nurse them back to sleep. They never just woke up fully and started exploring.. when we moved to a house with 2 floors I made sure to always have a baby gate at the top of the stairs just in case anyone came out of a room in the night but it never happened.  My babies weren't in cribs so I always made sure things were set up safely with this in mind.


Wow. My son opens doors. Gets into toilets. Open drawers - then closes on his fingers. Climbs into bathtub. ..
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amother




Aubergine
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 8:21 am
sky wrote:
Question for those who say a 16 month old doesn’t cry to manipulate - I think my baby does know how to cry to get his way. Or am I wrong?

For example my baby will bring me something - let’s say a food he shouldn’t eat to open for him - I’ll put it away and give home something else. He’ll throw himself on the floor and cry and tantrum for it.

When a baby does that they are crying for something and doing it on purpose. He can turn it off as soon as he turns it on if he gets what he wants. I really think he knows what he is doing.

Or am I wrong and he doesn’t?



Just because they want something doesn't mean its manipulative.

He is sad when you take something away.
He has no other way to express himself.

Are you manipulating someone when you cry because you are upset?

STOP GIVING BABIES NEGATIVE CHARACTERISTICS JUST FOR BEING A BABY.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 8:33 am
nchr wrote:
Why hasn't anyone commented on the bottle? Your baby should not be put to sleep with a bottle, ever. And your baby is old enough to chuck the bottle entirely. After that, there are many sleep training methods that should work - you need to pick one and be consistent but I dont think I'd let my kid sleep in his own vomit when the fact he vomited was my fault (put him to sleep with a bottle). I think supernanny's it's bedtime darling is a softer take on the cry it out.

THANK YOU!! I was coming to comment on the bottle. OP, please google “milk rot” and you will see why you are never supposed to let your child sleep with a bottle. It will do more long term damage (painful damage!!) than some crying.

Fwiw, on drs direction, I did CIO with my oldest at 5 months. Long story. But 16 months is way too old for this.

It will take time, but OP, you need to totally revamp your bedtime routine. Bottle about 30 mins before bed. Warm bath. Read a book. Put him in his crib awake but drowsy. Not asleep. It will take time but he will get there.
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Odelyah




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 8:39 am
sky wrote:
Wow. My son opens doors. Gets into toilets. Open drawers - then closes on his fingers. Climbs into bathtub. ..


really? in the middle of the night? he just wakes up happy, and is quietly wide awake and starts exploring?

mine did stuff like that during the day but not in the middle of the night because they didn't fully wake up-- I would nurse them and they would fall right back asleep
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amother




Turquoise
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 8:46 am
Are you sure your baby is not milk intolerant?
Maybe he's crying because he's uncomfortable plus the throwing up?
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amother




Purple
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 8:48 am
A few alternatives to cio that may work for you:

Sit in the room moving your chair farther and farther until you’re out of the room. Or sit in the room somewhere baby can’t see you and sing.

Put baby in and say “I’m going to get my phone”. Then come right back. A few minutes later “I’m going to put in a load of laundry” and then come back after a minute. And keep stretching the errands until baby falls asleep waiting for you.

(I don’t think cio is child abuse, we just couldn’t stomach it and researched alternatives)
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WhatFor




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 9:13 am
I know OP already said she wouldn't do this but to those who even suggested it... Wouldn't leaving a baby in their vomit be a dangerous choking hazard (aside from being just plain awful)?

Last edited by WhatFor on Sun, Dec 08 2019, 9:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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banana123




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 9:21 am
sky wrote:
Question for those who say a 16 month old doesn’t cry to manipulate - I think my baby does know how to cry to get his way. Or am I wrong?

For example my baby will bring me something - let’s say a food he shouldn’t eat to open for him - I’ll put it away and give home something else. He’ll throw himself on the floor and cry and tantrum for it.

When a baby does that they are crying for something and doing it on purpose. He can turn it off as soon as he turns it on if he gets what he wants. I really think he knows what he is doing.

Or am I wrong and he doesn’t?

Manipulating requires theory of mind.
Babies cry because it is the only way they know to express negative feelings. They don't have the verbal skills to explain it in words.
Babies stop crying when they are understood. To them this means either being soothed or getting what they want. This encourages adults to comfort the baby and provide what s/he wants and needs. That's important for babies' survival, as well as their physical and psychosocial development.
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 9:47 am
amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:
Just because they want something doesn't mean its manipulative.

He is sad when you take something away.
He has no other way to express himself.

Are you manipulating someone when you cry because you are upset?

STOP GIVING BABIES NEGATIVE CHARACTERISTICS JUST FOR BEING A BABY.

Please Stop yelling at me.
It’s not negative - I think he’s a genius.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 10:05 am
sky wrote:
Please Stop yelling at me.
It’s not negative - I think he’s a genius.

It could be your child is a genius, but it's a lot more likely that you're assigning your child motives that he is simply not capable of having yet.
Even if your child IS a genius, he is still a baby and that takes precedence.
As an aside, I've seen genius toddlers, and the way they show their genius is not by doing what you've described, but by actually "fooling" the adults around them. In ways that cannot be misunderstood or mistaken, that are very obviously and objectively an assessment of "adult thinks or sees x, if I do y in such and such a way then adult won't know or won't find out in time to stop me." Now they are toddlers so it doesn't always succeed but the attempt is very clearly a deliberate attempt to fool the adult. I don't want to give myself away so I can't give examples. But it is rare, really rare.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 10:09 am
Crying it out is emotionally damaging to children and your ling term relationships. I tried it twice with my oldest and eventually hired a sleep trainer. His will was stronger than mine. And he got damaged in the process. He didnt sleep through the night till he was literally 4.5 years old.

I did the baby whisperer with my next two kids and they both slept through the night by 8 weeks old.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 10:37 am
Quote:
My friends and family say that I should let him throw up and sleep in his mess and not change him


This is just horrifying. I can't believe that the people around you are giving you such terrible advice! Surprised I've never heard of such a thing in my life.

Did anyone, at any time, suggest that your baby may have reflux or indigestion?

Do get rid of the bottle ASAP, during days as well. Kids should be off of bottles at one year old. After that, it's more of a comfort thing. The problem is that they will depend on the bottle and not eat enough solid food to get enough nutrition (unless you are feeding him a high grade medical formula.)

Time to transition to a sippy cup. DD skipped that phase entirely, and went from a bottle straight to a normal cup with no problems. She also never, ever had a bottle in bed, not even water.

I'm not sure about the second nap. Most kids don't drop the second nap until 2.5 or 3yo. Try moving lunch and second nap earlier in the day, and see if that helps. That will give you a longer stretch of awake time between nap and bed times.

BTW, when you do remove the second nap, expect your baby to be overtired and prone to extreme tantrums for a few months, until he adjusts to the new schedule. It's really hard to make that transition.

You sound extremely frazzled. Have you talked to your doctor about PPD? Are you doing any sort of self care? Do you need to reach out and ask for a mother's helper one day a week so you can get some errands done in peace?
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 12:26 pm
sky wrote:
Question for those who say a 16 month old doesn’t cry to manipulate - I think my baby does know how to cry to get his way. Or am I wrong?

For example my baby will bring me something - let’s say a food he shouldn’t eat to open for him - I’ll put it away and give home something else. He’ll throw himself on the floor and cry and tantrum for it.

When a baby does that they are crying for something and doing it on purpose. He can turn it off as soon as he turns it on if he gets what he wants. I really think he knows what he is doing.

Or am I wrong and he doesn’t?


The crying is "manipulative." (I hesitate to use the word. It's more that tha.my baby knows when he cries, mommy comes to help him. I guess that is
Manipulation but that's a strong word for a little baby!)
The vomiting is certainly not.
I do CIO (with results seen within a few days) but b"H had no vommitting.
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Sebastian




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 12:41 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
Quote:
My friends and family say that I should let him throw up and sleep in his mess and not change him


This is just horrifying. I can't believe that the people around you are giving you such terrible advice! Surprised I've never heard of such a thing in my life.

Did anyone, at any time, suggest that your baby may have reflux or indigestion?

Do get rid of the bottle ASAP, during days as well. Kids should be off of bottles at one year old. After that, it's more of a comfort thing. The problem is that they will depend on the bottle and not eat enough solid food to get enough nutrition (unless you are feeding him a high grade medical formula.)

Time to transition to a sippy cup. DD skipped that phase entirely, and went from a bottle straight to a normal cup with no problems. She also never, ever had a bottle in bed, not even water.

I'm not sure about the second nap. Most kids don't drop the second nap until 2.5 or 3yo. Try moving lunch and second nap earlier in the day, and see if that helps. That will give you a longer stretch of awake time between nap and bed times.

BTW, when you do remove the second nap, expect your baby to be overtired and prone to extreme tantrums for a few months, until he adjusts to the new schedule. It's really hard to make that transition.

You sound extremely frazzled. Have you talked to your doctor about PPD? Are you doing any sort of self care? Do you need to reach out and ask for a mother's helper one day a week so you can get some errands done in peace?


Most kids outgrow 2 naps at around a yr and stop napping at 2.5 or 3
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 12:42 pm
Sebastian wrote:
Most kids outgrow 2 naps at around a yr and stop napping at 2.5 or 3


Really? My kids all had one nap until 6 so far.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 12:52 pm
Once he learns to fall asleep in the crib, not on you (following the methods others mentioned), the rest will be much easier. Because he'll know how to fall back asleep there when he wakes up in middle of the night.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:21 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
The crying is "manipulative." (I hesitate to use the word. It's more that tha.my baby knows when he cries, mommy comes to help him. I guess that is
Manipulation but that's a strong word for a little baby!)
The vomiting is certainly not.
I do CIO (with results seen within a few days) but b"H had no vommitting.

"When I cry mommy comes to help me" is not manipulative. It's security. When I need help, someone I trust comes to help me. The world is not scary, when I cry people care. I am loved and secure.

When babies stop crying it's not because "when I'm put in my crib after 7pm it's bedtime and I need to go to sleep." It's because "when I'm put in my crib and it's dark and I cry, no one comes to me, so why bother crying at all, it's a waste of energy if no one will come." Babies are programmed not to waste energy on useless crying. Babies in orphanages cry less because they have learned no one comes, that's not healthy. When no one comes it means "no one is there to come, you are alone in the world, which means you need to conserve energy until there'll be an adult available to feed you and care for you. Right now go to sleep to conserve energy."
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