Where do you sit? | Imamother

amother

Smokey

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 12:23 pm

I don't have a set spot, it depends who else is at the table and how I am feeling.

If the all the kids and/or guests are in the middle, I sit at the end.
If there are no kids or guests, I sit next to my husband.
If just one kid is awake, I sit next to husband.

amother

Oak

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 12:29 pm

I have to sit to the side so I don't see his horrible table manners, and I sit so that my deaf ear is towards him so I don't hear the chomping and smacking. Otherwise I completely lose my appetite.

Mostly, I try to not be at the table while he's eating. I'll be busy serving, clearing plates, or schmoozing with someone in the kitchen.

A tip to those in shidduchim. Watch your date eat, either at a restaurant or on Shabbos by his parents. What you see, is what you'll get for the rest of your life. Don't even think about teaching him differently, the pattern is already ingrained, and he doesn't see anything wrong with it.

singleagain

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:02 pm

When I was growing up my mom was across from my dad. But she's next to him. Bc we switched dining room from one to the other and the seat she sits is close to kitchen

lucky14

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:14 pm

If no one else is eating over I sit at the "head" and my husband sits to the left of me (we have a weird table where the end seats are actually not the most comfortable for someone with long legs) and my son sits to the right. When we have guests my husband sits at the "head" of the table and I sit on the side near him. This is on shabbat. During the week we have no usual seating arrangement.

zaq

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:16 pm

Depends on who the company is and how many. I have to be in a seat near the door and easy to get in/out as I’m serving (Duh.) Where guests go also depends, as those with infants and people with limited mobility also need essay access. Only the agile, unencumbered and relatively slim can really be seated on the far side.

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:24 pm

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

Same. I used to put a kid between us but the kids are getting older and they don't want to sit next to him either.

Beyla

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:40 pm

I take the closest seat from the kitchen. Or any seat my kids don’t want (they always have a big fight about the shabbos seats).

doodlesmom

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 1:47 pm

My husband actually sits in the center of the longer part of the table (like some pple do for the seder) with the 2 oldest boys on either side and I sit right across him with the 2 older girls on either side of me. the little ones shift around or are in the high chair.
It works very well for us because everyone can reach everything on the table, and no one is craning their neck to be part of the conversation.
I found that constantly looking at the head of the table from the side was very uncomfortable.
My husband also hates sitting next to guest, so now we give our guests a place of honor at the head of the table and everyone is happy.

PS I've actually had someone comment that they wont be meshadech with me because we don't follow tradition. lol!!

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 2:01 pm

doodlesmom wrote:

Lol we do the same. I'll be meshadech with u!

amother

Gold

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 2:32 pm

My father didn't sit at the head of the table. That was for his father, whom we lived with. He sat at the other end of the oval table, kind of off center, next to my mother.

amother

Violet

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 3:56 pm

I used to sit right near him, to his right. But as the kids are BH being added to the table, I find the younger ones need an adult next to them so we needed to spread out the adult manpower. DH is at head, a little kid next him, then an older kid, then a little kid, then me.
On the other side we have a big kid next to DH and then a medium kid next. We do what works for us as a family at that point.

I actually like the idea of placing the head of the table at the center of the long side. I'm going to suggest it to DH and see what he says to that.

amother

Emerald

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 4:06 pm

DH and I both sit on the same side of the table, next to each other. The kids sit around. DH likes sitting next to me at the table.

My parents sit at opposite ends of the table, as do/did both sets of grandparents. My FIL sits at the head of the table, and my MIL usually sits on the side of the table right next to the head.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:02 pm

We each sit at a head of table, opposite each other. Our table is not huge (sits 2-3 on each side), so it's not like we are shouting to hear each other. The conversation is natural.

I strongly believe that both parents are 'heads' of the household, so this seating arrangement works for us in its symbolic way.

When guests come, our table doesn't extend enough, so we sometimes need to add another table, in a perpendicular arrangement, and at that point one or both of us may move from our regular spot.

amother

Khaki

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 5:08 pm

I sit at the back after the kids. DH tells alot of stories at the table, I want the kids to sit near him. Otherwise they lose interest and leave the table.