Babysitter calls to say baby is sick

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Forum -> Working Women

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amother

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 7:17 am

You're working and get the call from the babysitter that the baby is sick and you have to come and pick him up.
What's the expectation for how long the babysitter will hold on to a sick kid until someone comes? It takes time to leave work, travel to the babysitter's house, etc.
At what point are you expected to send a neighbor/husband/friend rather than yourself?
(if it'll take you an hour to get home and the babysitter expects the child to be picked up within 15 minutes, you have to find someone else)

rivkam

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 7:28 am

That's something to ask your babysitter. As a parent, I would try to get there or get DH to go asap. Like leave work within 15 mins and drive over. It's not fair to the other kids to have a sick kid around

amother

Amber

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 7:48 am

For me the expectation was within the hour. But I always chose daycare near my work rather than near home for this reason

HonesttoGod

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 8:31 am

I always called my husband and we figured out who could be there first and then told the bbsitter our eta based on that.

amother

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 9:03 am

Would it be considered neglectful if someone picks up within the hour but not within 15 minutes?

Raindropsonrose

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 9:09 am

First of all, I hope your baby has a Refuah sheleimah.

This is the kind of thing that needs to be discussed ahead of time, I think.

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 9:11 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Would it be considered neglectful if someone picks up within the hour but not within 15 minutes?

Just like with anything in life, communicating is key
My babysitter is aware that I work in the city and have a commute.
Therefore if I get a call that I need to pick my baby up, it is reasonable and not neglectful for me to get there and hour after I get the call.
It is absolutely *un*reasonable to expect me to be there within 15 minutes (or anything close to that) but my babysitter shares that expectation (for ME) because she knows my commute & knows I can't magically appear.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 9:11 am

That is a discussion to have with the babysitter. I would also always give an ETA when the call comes in. This is also why I am looking for daycare close to my job (also means less time spent in daycare.)

amother

Black

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 9:14 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Would it be considered neglectful if someone picks up within the hour but not within 15 minutes?

No

There is an adult watching your child. It's not neglectful.

Now the babysitter may have preferences. But she's got to state them. And if it's not reasonable for you, then maybe you need to find someone more flexible.

It's understandable that not everyone can be there within 15 minutes of notification.

zaq

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 10:48 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Would it be considered neglectful if someone picks up within the hour but not within 15 minutes?

Not if both parents work more than 15 minutes away.

groovy1224

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 10:55 am

I think an hour is fine, unless it's something more emergent like the child is vomiting or crying hysterically. But in any situation, communication is the most important. If you can't make it for an hour, make sure she knows and isn't expecting you to be there in 15 minutes.

Ruchel

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 11:47 am

There is no way most people c'v can just do that unless c'v it's an emergency, and then I'd suggest they call the responders. The times it happened for us we generally finished whatever time we had said. If it's a newborn etc the emergency level is much quicker so I'd treat as emergency.

Chayalle

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 2:16 pm

I used to work about a 45 minute drive from Lakewood. I used a babysitter in Lakewood. They knew I would need an hour to get to them (and it was not always possible for DH to come).

I think it's all about communication.

If sick, the baby would be isolated as much as possible from the other children. Beyond that, everyone who sends their child to a babysitter must know their kid is not in a bubble, and can catch something from someone else.

Last edited by Chayalle on Mon, Dec 09 2019, 2:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 2:23 pm

I would tell the sitter "I'll leave work within 10 minutes, it will take me 30 minutes to drive to you. Thanks for calling me."

miami85

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 2:31 pm

Depending on how sick the baby is--coughing and sneezing or burning up with fever or vomitting?

Depends on the nature of your job, can you just drop everything at a moments notice? Or can it wait until you wrap up loose ends? take work home? finish a meeting? I would hope that a babysitter that you hire would understand that your job is important to maintaining HER continued employment (b/c if you loose your job, you don't need a babysitter). I would try to get my stuff together as fast as I can, but if I had something that needed to be done I would try to ask my babysitter to be understanding and just try to keep the sick baby away from other kids while I did my best.

amother

Bisque

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 2:50 pm

Kids rarely get so sick that they require an emergency pickup out of the blue. My MIL works in a school office and she always feels terrible for the kids who come into the office feeling sick and when they ask when it started the answer is usually that they told their mother in the morning that they weren't feeling so well and the mom just gave them Tylenol and sent them to school anyway. Then of course when they call the mom to pick up the sick child she says she'll be there soon but ends up coming around the usual pickup time while the kids just sit there miserably in the office because they can't go back to class if they're sick. Now, obviously my MIL is a working woman herself and she understands that it's not so easy to take off with a sick child, but she has especially negative things to say about the moms who don't work and still pull this shtick. Poor kids.

amother

Sapphire

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 4:46 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

True but very often kids will say they're not feeling well and then will stay in school all day and come home in a great mood barely remembering that they complained in the morning!!
Mothers can't always guess if kids will get better or worse!!
I work at home and have no problem keeping kids home (and they take full advantage of it!!) But if I kept home kids every time they complain.... Can't Believe It

zaftigmom

Tue, Dec 10 2019, 6:25 am

I've babysat for years and I can confirm what people are saying about communication. Just tell your babysitter how long it'll take and try your best to keep to that timeline.

I once had a kid who woke up from her nap with a fever. The mother said take her temp again in an hour cuz she sometimes wakes up like that. An hour later the fever was even higher. The mother took another hour after that to come get her. She worked around the corner. She picked her up a half hour before dismissal. That wasn't okay. Especially because the child was over a year and much harder to keep contained than a baby.

As long as you are doing your best and keeping in touch with the babysitter you don't have to worry too much.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Dec 10 2019, 6:33 am

If you know a childless neighbor who can take your sick baby until you can come and pick up, it would be worth it to pay them when it happens. Even adults don't want to be exposed to sick children, though. It's really hard.

amother

Puce

Tue, Dec 10 2019, 6:33 am

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

I agree that it's not always so clear if a child says something is bothering them, they don't feel great, etc but they seem fine.
I'm the type that if someone calls from my kids school that they are sick, I try to get there as soon as possible, or send someone in my stead and hurry home. I don't send a kid to school if they are throwing up or have fever in the last 24 hours etc. I also check my phone periodically at work to make sure no calls from the school.
But I know a family member and an acquaintance who proudly tell people of the multiple times their kid was sick with fever or even vomiting and they gave them Tylenol, sent them school and then shut off their phone until towards the end of the day so that the school would be responsible for their kid. And yes their kids have sat in the office for most of the day "waiting for Mom", vomiting/diarrhea, and/or feverish. Honestly this totally boggles my mind. (And it always shocks me when they kind of brag about it like oh I figured out this awesome method not to take off work when the kids are sick)

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