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DD8 asked me what a period is
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 8:52 am
...because she read about it in a library book! We usually vet the books she takes out but I guess this one slipped through the cracks. I feel like she is too young for this conversation and want her to stay innocent for a little longer. I told her she could ask me about it after school but I’m thinking about not bringing it up if she doesn’t.

What would you do?
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 8:54 am
Its basically time anyways, I got my period when I was 10.
Give her a simplified version if she can't handle a full anatomy class.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 8:56 am
I'm very not anglo-into calling a private part etc, BUT when there's a question... either deflect that a period of time etc - or give the wonder of becoming you. she's 8 it's young but it's not 5
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1091




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 8:56 am
I would tell her. Girls are getting their periods younger and younger. One of my girls got her period at 10.5 which took me by surprise. She knew about periods because she has an older sister but she was too nervous to tell us about it. We found out from the laundry. (Turns out my mil got her period at 10 too so a bit of genetics at play.) I would love a do over on this one - I'll add it to my list.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:03 am
I told my daughters about periods before they got them. I don’t get why keeping her ignorant about her body and the changes it will go through is keeping her “innocent.”
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little neshamala




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:08 am
I read about it in a library book when I was 8 too. When I asked my mother, she was very evasive and didnt fully answer anything, pushed it off etc.
Im sure she had all the right intentions, but what that taught me was she couldnt be a trusted source of information. I researched on my own, and from then on trusted everyone but my mother for information on sensative topics such as puberty, where babies come from etc.

It would have been A LOT better for me to think I could just go ask her. I was fed a lot of garbage instead.
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:14 am
I actually just told my daughter last night but she’s 10. She was asking a lot of questions about eggs from chickens and how can they sometimes be eggs and sometimes chicks so I decided it was a good opportunity for a conversation. I think she saw it as an abstract and didn’t really see this happening to her but she’s not showing other signs of puberty so I’m guessing she has time. Her school talks to the girls towards the end of this grade so I had planned to talk to her within the next couple of months.
8 is really young to me.
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simcha2




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:15 am
little neshamala wrote:
I read about it in a library book when I was 8 too. When I asked my mother, she was very evasive and didnt fully answer anything, pushed it off etc.
Im sure she had all the right intentions, but what that taught me was she couldnt be a trusted source of information. I researched on my own, and from then on trusted everyone but my mother for information on sensative topics such as puberty, where babies come from etc.

It would have been A LOT better for me to think I could just go ask her. I was fed a lot of garbage instead.


Same here. Ironically she gave me a book about reproduction much younger, but anything around periods/puberty she made out as taboo. Was not good.

I would just tell her very matter of fact.

You know that when you get a little bit older your body will start to change. (Can point out some differences, you know older girls and grown ups have beasts etc). This is Hashem's way of getting the girls ready to be mommies when their older. Etc etc
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Ravenclaw




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:18 am
So? Tell her.
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little neshamala




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:18 am
I told my daughter at age 8.5, in 3rd grade. Figured her classmates might start whispering about it.. .some kids get it very young
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amother




Oak
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:18 am
I told my daughter about her period when she was 8. 8 is the beginning of what's considered a normal age to get it. young but it doesn't qualify as precociuous puberty. I want to make sure she knows before she gets it!

I didn't tell her how about relations or anything just about menstruation.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:20 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
...because she read about it in a library book! We usually vet the books she takes out but I guess this one slipped through the cracks. I feel like she is too young for this conversation and want her to stay innocent for a little longer. I told her she could ask me about it after school but I’m thinking about not bringing it up if she doesn’t.

What would you do?

Tell her. What do you mean? What else IS there to do? She asked you a question, so you give her an answer. How intensive depends on you, and her. When my daughter was 8/9, someone from an older class (who had had someone come in to talk to them) educated my daughter. I was livid, and even more so because she had misinformed my daughter!! I explained to her what it is, and then I bought her the American girl book, and we read some together and some she read on her own.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:21 am
YES IT IS

La puberté précoce se définit par le développement des seins avant l'âge de huit ans, les règles apparaissant environ deux ans après. = 10 years
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:29 am
I don’t think it’s too young at all. I know several girls who got their periods at 9. I always feel bad when I hear stories of girls who got their period before knowing what it was and freaking out, thinking they were dying etc. I think that it’s important for moms to educate their daughters before that happens and you never really know when that’s going to be.
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amother




Oak
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:32 am
ruchel- I only speak English but I'm guessing your comment was a response to mine?

https://www.mayoclinic.org/dis.....51811


"Precocious puberty is when a child's body begins changing into that of an adult (puberty) too soon. When puberty begins before age 8 in girls and before age 9 in boys, it is considered precocious puberty."

It could be that there are different norms in different countries. I didn't realize.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:38 am
She asked you a question.
You said you would answer later.
You need to bring it up and answer her.
Otherwise, she'll assume that she asks personal questions and you brush her off.
Period is easy.
A girls body has to prepare itself in order to become a Mommy. Every month blood goes in the uterus- the pocket where babies live in the mothers belly. If the Mommy doesn't become pregnant that month, the blood comes out of the private areas. It sounds a little ewwy and gross, but it's really important because it shows that the woman is healthy enough to have babies.
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small bean




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:48 am
I would give a short answer.. like every month girls bleed for about a week. This is part of the process of being able to have a baby. And then I would say it is hard to understand this concept at 8 as your body is not up to there yet. We will talk about this in detail when you're in 5th grade. If you have any specific questions feel free to ask.

I dont think an 8 year old can process more detail than that.

I sort of did that about relations. I didnt think my daughter could process too much detail when she asked, so I gave a concise enough answer to satisfy her curiosity. Here and there she asks me questions but for the most part she is satisfied.

The key is truly be comfortable, honest and open when answering your kids questions and they will trust you.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:53 am
keym wrote:
She asked you a question.
You said you would answer later.
You need to bring it up and answer her.
Otherwise, she'll assume that she asks personal questions and you brush her off.
Period is easy.
A girls body has to prepare itself in order to become a Mommy. Every month blood goes in the uterus- the pocket where babies live in the mothers belly. If the Mommy doesn't become pregnant that month, the blood comes out of the private areas. It sounds a little ewwy and gross, but it's really important because it shows that the woman is healthy enough to have babies.


This. Very well said.

I told my big girls about periods when they were 10, but my youngest was told about periods by her cousin when she was 7 (at a wedding no less. There was a basket in the bathroom with personal items, and her cousin decided to tell her what they were for). I had to set things right (no honey, you don't become like a faucet with blood pouring out - her cousin is quite a drama queen) and calm her fears sooner than I wished to.

But once she asked, you MUST give her an answer, so that she knows YOU are the right address for questions (and not library books, her neighbor, her classmate, etc...)
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chanatron1000




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 10:15 am
Why keep it a secret? It's a simple fact, and there's no harm in telling it.
This is actually a good opportunity to tell the truth before she gets misinformed by classmates, and to let her know that she can ask if she has any more questions.
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banana123




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 12 2019, 11:06 am
small bean wrote:
I would give a short answer.. like every month girls bleed for about a week. This is part of the process of being able to have a baby. And then I would say it is hard to understand this concept at 8 as your body is not up to there yet. We will talk about this in detail when you're in 5th grade. If you have any specific questions feel free to ask.

I dont think an 8 year old can process more detail than that.

I sort of did that about relations. I didnt think my daughter could process too much detail when she asked, so I gave a concise enough answer to satisfy her curiosity. Here and there she asks me questions but for the most part she is satisfied.

The key is truly be comfortable, honest and open when answering your kids questions and they will trust you.

What did you tell your daughter about relations?
My mother gave me one of those euphemistic explanations that made me think if I hug a man I'll get a baby in my tummy. When she said that's not how it works and she'll tell me when I get older I understood she's not a good person to talk to about this.
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