What is up with all of the teacher and school bashing?!

amother

Sun, Dec 15 2019, 8:36 pm

Just getting a really yucky vibe lately from some of the recent posts.

Yes, of course, I know there are some bad teachers out there, but I've been in the school system a long time, and for the most part I see dedicated, sincere, constantly striving to do better, sensitive, caring, teachers who are overworked, underpaid, and for the most part underappreciated.

At the same time, there are plenty if threads that we from the other side can start regarding parents and students who are far from perfect and can be downright hurtful.

I am not starting them, because when I come across such a situation, I work very hard to work it out and work on myself to remember that these are INDIVIDUALS, and do not represent the group.

Just needed to get this off my chest.....

Carry on.....

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Dec 15 2019, 8:41 pm

The primary difference is who is in the position of power.

Of course a teacher can be hurt by parents and students. However, the teacher is the one in the position of power in this dynamic. Therefore, it stands to reason that students are a lot more vulnerable to the teacher's actions than vice versa.

A teacher can make a thoughtless comment and forget it the next minute, while it's burned into the student's soul 50 years later. Obviously, it can happen the other way, too, but it happens much more often in this direction.

(spoken as a teacher)

amother

Sun, Dec 15 2019, 8:51 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Definitely true, and I am very aware of this. That is why I, and most of the teachers I know of, are extremely careful about how we interact with them.

At the same time, I feel that there is an attitude here of people not realizing that teachers are also vulnerable. Even as a very experienced, bh well-liked teacher, I am aware of the fact that just one difficult student can change the dynamics in my classroom. And one very outspoken mother can change the way that I am seen by my class that year. And really, I'm bh not speaking about myself because I am just aware of the feeling and never bh experienced it myself, but I have seen a lot of unfairness with colleagues from the other perspective.

I'm not looking to bash parents and students. I love them, and I love my job. I'm just disturbed by an overall sentiment that I'm seeing here and I wanted to balance it out a bit.

amother

Taupe

Sun, Dec 15 2019, 11:18 pm

I don't think it's bashing.

Keep in mind, if a teacher does a fine job, then it's not newsworthy (B"H!). The kids learned, nobody was traumatized or abused by the teacher, the class wasn't bored out of their brains or not adequately educated.

That is the baseline.

So most of us, although we could write, "My first, second, third, fourth, seventh, and eighth grade teachers were good teachers," are going to mention that in a thread asking for out-of-the-ordinary experiences.

Be happy that this is considered the norm!

A thread asking for teachers who went out of their way is also somewhat unusual, because we B"H have a pretty high bar for teachers! If you look at that thread, it's mostly teachers who gave of their home time (definitely not expected), or went out of their way in a manner OBVIOUS enough for the child to pick up on (also not expected, because most teachers will do so in a more subtle way).

If you start a thread asking for "stuff my teachers did that I thought was really nice" I imagine most people will have a contribution or two. But a thread asking for majorly unusual circumstances will pick up more bad (because it's unusual) than good (because the standards CAN BE so high!).

We love our teachers, we know they're human, and are lucky that most of them have been either okay (which is already awesome) or really good (which is also awesome, but can't really DESCRIBE it as having DONE something unusual), and I don't have a contribution to the "awful stuff teachers did" thread B"H B"H.

amother

Silver

Sun, Dec 15 2019, 11:36 pm

Teachers definitely deserve more credit and appreciation than they are getting. Most of our educators are incredibly dedicated, thoughtful and sensitive. When my high school daughter describes the classroom behavior of some of her fellow students... Can't Believe It

and how the teachers retain their patience and dignity, my respect for them grows.
Thank you op and others who responded for all you do for our children.

amother

Sun, Dec 15 2019, 11:41 pm

Amother taupe, you made excellent points.

What I was pointing out is that there is often a lot to be desired on the side of the students and parents as well. Yet, I know how to filter that out from the whole, overall picture.

Somehow, from the tone of the posts, I don't feel like the same is true from the other side.

I'm not sure why I bothered posting here. Something tells me that the answers are just going to make me feel worse.

I'm probably better off just not reading these posts. I take what I do very seriously and it isn't good for me to see he lack of appreciation for what it takes. Yes, even doing what seems like baseline, required takes a lot of effort.

amother

Sun, Dec 15 2019, 11:45 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

and how the teachers retain their patience and dignity, my respect for them grows.
Thank you op and others who responded for all you do for our children.

I appreciate how you worded this! I am involved with high school and like I've said, I've watched colleagues suffer at the hands of students and parents. They carry on with patience and dignity because of the other students that make it worth it.

groisamomma

Sun, Dec 15 2019, 11:50 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

and how the teachers retain their patience and dignity, my respect for them grows.
Thank you op and others who responded for all you do for our children.

Same to the bolded. However, when my younger daughter describes the caustic comments of her middle school teacher my respect goes down the tubes. The new, inexperienced, straight-from-seminary teachers know that the younger ones won't stand up to them yet, drunk with power, they crush them day after day. Any high school teacher with an ounce of brains wouldn't make nasty comments. They'd laugh her out the door. Seventh- and eighth-graders are more vulnerable.

I would love to say these are the exception rather than the rule but recent experience is showing me otherwise. The way it stands, I'll take a scatter-brained mommy that makes it to school by the skin of her teeth that cares deeply about my child's feelings over a newly-minted, insecure, young single teacher that knows nothing about life and thinks nothing of demeaning and humiliating 12-year-olds.

Sorry, I had to get that out there.

groisamomma

Sun, Dec 15 2019, 11:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you are a caring teacher that shows her students basic respect then you're better off not reading further.

Otherwise, a poster might learn something here. If even one teacher reads it and changes it was worthwhile.

My kids have had the most amazing teachers over the years. I have several daughters and I can think of only 3 I had an issue with in all the years of their schooling. Unfortunately, those teachers make it so hard for the kids to like school, even with the 4 remaining amazing teachers! I've been a teacher for many years so I see firsthand how one teacher can ruin it for a child, no matter how much she cares, because she can't make the scene stop playing itself over and over in the child's mind.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 12:08 am

groisamomma wrote:

I dunno, in my personal experience, some of the worst & meanest teachers were the older ones.

southernbubby

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 12:44 am

Unfortunately, in many frum schools, teachers have no training or are given the job because someone in administration wants to give them a job but they really can't teach.
Yes we should respect teachers, that is, unless they are psychologically damaging our child.

amother

Blue

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 12:49 am

When I was growing up(not that long ago) we had project, we sang , we did alot other than learning. Today report cards have to be very accurate to the last detail and not alwaya in a way that makes students happy. 65 is no longer a pass its 80 we are there to correct every little problem in students life. We expect parents to be on board with it all. In general schools expect alot from parents. But have issues when all parent wants is her teacher and principal to be a mentch

ectomorph

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 1:53 am

I was a tough student in some respects. The school system simply was not a good fit for my personality and wildly inconsistent intellectual and social / emotional maturity. Honestly, I didn't "grow into" myself until I was 22-23. I would have done equally if not more poorly in public school.

However, I remember most of my BY teachers as well meaning. Sometimes they did stupid things (forbidding me to sing davening because I'd only daven the singing parts) and sometimes they set up a situation I was sure to fail (ectomorph, sit still and listen and don't take notes) but they really tried.

It feels like the schools are in power, and it's easy to criticize those in power. The fact is that humans are messy, but nearly all schools are trying their best against a lot of challenges.

amother

Slategray

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 3:04 am

I agree with OP though I think it depends with the school environment. The school I went to had a very unpleasant/dictator style. And so where most of my theachers. I have so many crazy stories from school... to many to count. And I was a very good student. But my teachers were bitter people. One divorced twice and in a unhappy marriage, another one dealt with infertility and a child of hers passed away. Many teachers had terrible home situation and while I really pity them I don't think they should work with kids if they are frustrated and short tempered because of life difficulties. But my school felt it was a mitzvah to give jobs to those people because they suffer so much already. So now the kids have to suffer too. As a child when I complained I was always told I should have rachmonus on the teacher because she suffers so much.

I send my kids to a different school and the atmosphere is from a different planet compared. So nice, so encouraging. They discuss with parents whenever necessary. And most important the teachers do their job because they are good at it and they want this job and not because they are a sister/niece/cousin from the principal and they need distraction from home

amother

Apricot

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 1:01 pm

Here is my two cents about school bashing:

There are those parents that do not appreciate school and teachers and the efforts put in by the school system and know how to be negative and create havoc.

However there are those parents who have clumsy, atypical children who do not do well in a school environment BUT DO GREAT IN REAL LIFE. They carry an enormous amount of pain from people in the schools........